


Like Water

by AyokaiW



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: #GivePeridotABreak2k19, 3 Wild Peridots Appear, Angst, Artistic liberties with Gems and their powers, Bottom!Peridot, Camp Pining Hearts, Collars, Corrupted Fusion, Corrupted!Jasper, Corrupted!Lapis, Corrupted!Malachite, Crystal Gems, Cuddling, Did I forget to mention this is semi-slowburn?, Exposition, F/F, Family Issues, Feels, Fluff, For Science!, Gem!Lapis, Gem-hating group, Human!Peridot, Human/Gem relationship, Jasper is awesome, Jasper is not awesome, Kidnapping, Lapis can get possessive af, Lapis is thirsty, Multiple minor character death, OCs that are semi-essential, PTSD, Peridot and Lapis are pretty gay, Peridot is a programmer, Peridot is forever an angry slice of pie, Pumpkin is Corgi, Pumpkin likes Lapis the best, Pumpkin the cockblock wonder dog, Sappy Lappy, Semi-graphic Depiction of Torture, Someone give Peridot a hug, Unintentional Kinkshame, Wet Dream, a teeny bit political, and awesome Jasper is sick of their shit, it's the Human/Gem AU no one asked for but I'm writing it anyways, metal manipulation, she can hack too, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2019-10-06 14:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17347295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyokaiW/pseuds/AyokaiW
Summary: Peridot had a rough day: she got fired from her job, was locked up for a day, got her car towed, her apartment broken into and her stuff stolen.Meanwhile, Lapis Lazuli has to deal with a murderous corrupted fusion, and that does not end well.----Some say unfortunate circumstances can bring people together. Often times, it's the trials and hardships that follow those events that keep them together.Commissioned Works:Chapter 4 and future chapterhttps://mobile.twitter.com/destortion/status/1082393057071427584Chapter 7https://twitter.com/destortion/status/1093619430435770368?s=17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Meet Peridot, the angry slice of pie.

The sounds of mechanical typing began to grate at Peridot’s last remaining nerve.  
  
_Tik-tak tik-tak tik tik tik-tak-tak-tak_  
  
It was enough to drive any sane man to suicide really. Peridot took her glasses off and set them on the desk in front of her. She rubbed her eyes. Staring at a screen for hours on end was going to make her blind, but emails must be read and code must be written so sayeth her bitch of a mother.  
  
Peridot looked at the clock on her computer screen and moaned. Three hours. Just three more hours and I’ll leave.  
  
That's what she always told herself. Every hour that passed since she was supposed to leave left her tired and angry - at who even she couldn't say. In another cubicle another employee stayed behind, cursing and pounding their fingers on the keys every. single. second. Whatever line he was trying to fix was not going to be fixed in a single night. Or three by the sounds of his frustrations.  
  
Sighing, Peridot got up from her wheeling chair and stalked over to the other cubicle, “Lars.”  
  
“Go away.” Came the bitty reply. The tall, lanky man with curly brown red hair and boyish face was wearing a scowl that could kill.  
  
Peridot was not frightened of the thirty year old coder; she wasn't afraid of much - except her mother and the dark, endless abyss that was the ocean.  
  
“I was going to offer coffee but you can fuck off I guess.” Peridot sneered back.  
  
“Fuck you, Peridot!” The man snapped irritably, “Your cunt of a mother did this to me! This was working fine when I sent it to her. Fine, I tell you, but now I can't tell what the fuck’s going on!”  
  
“No reason to be snippy.” Peridot countered, “You think I’m over there having a gay ass time with my work?" Lars shot her a glare and she stubbornly glared back, "Look, send me what you have and I’ll see what I can do alright? Now do you want the coffee or not?”  
  
They were both the only coders in the entire building that could fix complicated messes and developed an odd friendship in their all-nighters. Peridot understood that Lars was a dutiful husband, a hard worker and wisecrack during the day, but by night he was a sour, overworked, cranky sonofabitch.  
  
As for Peridot, she was borderline homicidal during the day and relatively lethargic during the night (only because she didn't have her mother’s three inch parada’s planted up her ass). At night, with no one barking orders at her or having her run around the office, Peridot was as tame as a kitten. That was the only reason why she was extending the gesture.  
  
Lars sighed, defeated, and leaned back in his chair, “Can you make it like my wife?”  
  
“...there’s a sexist joke in there that I’m not going to bite.” Peridot said.  
  
“Whatever. Just make it hot.”  
  
“That’s not like your wife.”  
  
Peridot dodged the stapler that came sailing towards her head and made her way to the small kitchen on their office floor. She poured out the day old coffee that was left in the pot. She went to cleaning it and changing the filter. The man who invented coffee should be given a nobel peace prize. Setting the coffee maker to brew herself and Lars eight cups of delicious caffeine, Peridot turned on the TV to see late night news.  
  
“ -in breaking news tonight! A man was found by the cove off Beach City’s infamous thousand mile beach. Investigators believe he was attacked by sharks, but no one can confirm his identity or where he originally came from. More on this story in just a fe-”  
  
“Nope.” Peridot clicked the TV off and tossed the remote back on the counter.  
  
Another attack. That would be the third one within a month. The tenth in the last six months. The thirty-first in the year. Thirty-one deaths by shark attacks and not a single clue how they wound up on the beach? Beach City was a low crime, low shark populated, beachfront city - if you could call it a city without skyscrapers or metropolitan. They called it a city just to add to the property tax for business and homeowners....but at least there was no state tax. How could thirty one shark attacks occur in half a year without anyone seeing a single shark?  
  
That's why Peridot stayed far away from the ocean. Just the thought of those gaint beasts lurking in the murky depths gave her the shivers.  
  
The coffee machine beeped pulling the blonde from her thoughts. She sighed in content as she poured her freshly made coffee into a mug and gulped it down without sugar or cream. It burned, made her tear up, but it was exactly what she needed for another long night. She made another cup for herself and one for Lars before returning to his desk.  
  
“Coffee’s up-” Peridot said. She turned into his cube only to find him gone, “Probably off to the bathroom, the bastard.”  
  
She set his cup far from his keyboard and went back to her own desk.  
  
At least he sent the email before running off.  
  
Somewhere between four and five am she must have fallen asleep because a hand on her shoulder woke her immediately.  
  
Drool had pooled on her arm and Peridot wiped it off in disgust. Another night away from home and from her warm, comfortable bed.  
  
“Morning, Peri.” An elderly woman greeted. She was plump and going gray in her short hair, and  dressed in a bright orange sundress, “Another all nighter?”  
  
“Morning, Monica. Lars and I stayed fixing the Xol Project.” Peridot paused to yawn, “Go wake him up if he's asleep.”  
  
Monica’s eyes furrowed, “He’s not here. I checked his cubicle first before waking you up.”  
  
“Hmm.” Peridot hummed in acknowledgement before moving her mouse to wake her computer screen up, “Must have went home.”  
  
Little by little the office began to fill up with tens of people at a time. Some greeted Peridot with courtesy, which she ignored. Some didn’t say anything to her which made it easier for Peridot to forget the customary greetings.

For such a small building not many people worked in it. The building was nothing special - just six stories with various offices on each floor doing a little of everything for Diamond Inc. Only thing worth mentioning about her lackluster job was that it was a multi-billion dollar corporation run by the Diamond Authority. It was divided into four separate businesses amongst the Diamonds and her division was in charge of making websites, coding, debugging, and test work for other companies. Long story short it was the tech division.

The other two sections were unimportant to Peridot, but she knew both dabbled in trade deals and immigration. Pink Diamond's section was u organized and had no clear direction or product to sell and yet, for a reason Peridot couldn't decipher, stockholders kept giving her money…

No Diamond actually _ran_ the company. They had no interest. That was taken care of by four trustworthy human and her mother just so happened to run the Yellow Sector for Yellow Diamond. It was a job Peridot took in bad faith for less pay than the average programmer, but the money was still good. Hell, everyone knew she was related to the vice president, but she was treated like any other employee and that meant getting yelled at with the rest of the inferior pebbles.  
  
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Peridot opened her programs and continued with her debugging before her mother came storming into the office.  
  
“Where is Lars?!” Marigold Wilder demanded as she made her way across the room, “That useless fool better have that Xol Project fixed and emailed to me in the next thirty minutes or he’s axed!”

_Lars, where are you?_  Peridot frowned. It was almost seven and Lars was never late.

Instead of thinking about him too much, she went about her day typing like a woman possessed on her computer. Spreadsheets were coming in through her emails, requests for password updates, confirmations on meetings and the tech expo that was fast approaching. Her work load was increasing, yet she did it without complaint.  
  
It wasn't until late in the evening did Peridot hear her mother’s voice again - an unpleasant sound to mortal ears.  
  
“Peridot! My office, this instant!”  
  
“Motherfuc-” Peridot began to snarl under her breath, but sealed her lips on the word when her mother shot her a dark glare. _Ears like a fucking bat, I swear_ .  
  
The short woman got up with a heavy sigh and worked her way past associates and cubicles. How Marigold knew where she was, was astonishing. Peridot made an effort to never stay in the same cubicle for more than a few days - always switching to one side of the office to another. Somehow, no matter where Peridot was in the building, she would find her without fail.  
  
The smell of late lunches and caffeinated drinks filled her nose and made her stomach rumble with need. She forgot to eat again. There was coffee still in the breakroom and probably some cookies left from the night before. The thought of shoving one of those tasty desserts into her mouth was almost enough to make Peridot forget she was about to face a dragon.  
  
“You wanted to see me, m’am?” Peridot asked as she stepped into her mother’s overly lavish office.  
  
“Sit.” Came the curt command. Peridot was about to step further in when her mother hissed, “The door first, you useless fool.”

_“Why are you such a useless child, Peridot. At the rate you're going, your sister would have graduated college by now!”_

The door closed with a loud BANG!  
  
“Happy?” Peridot snapped back. She sat down heavily in the chair in front of her mother’s desk.  
  
“Now, do you know why I called you in my office?” Marigold asked. Her bright green eyes piercing holes in Peridot’s own.  
  
“If I did, I probably wouldn't be sitting here.” Peridot said.  
  
Her mother ignored the sally, “I’ll say this first: you’re work has been exceptional and flawless since you started working here. Most, if not all our technical problems seem to melt away like dew thanks to you. For that, I commend you for your time and effort.”  
  
Peridot mentally cleaned the earwax out of her ears and sat a bit taller (she wasn't sure if anyone under 5’5” could, but she tried). She was almost excited about the praise she was receiving-  
  
“-but this last project of your was shawdy at best. ” Marigold drawled, “Intern level work. I had to explain your embarrassment and apologize! What happened, Peridot?”  
  
Peridot’s mouth hung open in disbelief, “I-I-”  
  
Her mother’s hand slapped the table’s surface hard causing Peridot to flinch, “This isn't the first one either. Six out of ten of your projects in the last month were reported as dead on arrival. The other four had massive security holes!”  
  
Why was she just hearing about that now?  
  
“Most of those projects were already dead when I got them!” Peridot exclaimed, “The last person who had it made the code so unreadable I had to start from scratch! Everything was fine when I sent them out!”  
  
Everything was fine. She spent half her nights toiling with Lars to crawl over every inch of those projects before sending them to the clients. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Everything-  
  
“That's not what the client said. So far many employees using your software can now see everyone's emails.” Marigold spat, “Do you have any idea how much damage was caused for this company’s reputation? Lawsuits both inside and outside this company and millions of dollars gone because of you.”  
  
Peridot couldn't hear much more after that. Her heart was beating in her ears and she couldn't utter a single word to defend herself.  
  
Her mother kept talking though.

Peridot barely heard the words.

“These follies were inexcusable.” and “There was no other way.” and, the one that hurt worst of all, “You were always such a disappointment.”  
  
Peridot was given until the end of the day to resign her position, due to personal matters, and cut all ties with Diamond Inc. and clean out her cubicle. Marigold was not without “mercy” and promised to arrange a severance package for up to a year. She already had the documents drawn up, so all Peridot had to do was sign.  
  
No longer able to stomach the sight of her mother’s face, Peridot stood up, and left the office without another word.  
  
Outside, a few pair eyes were on her, unsympathetic eyes that told Peridot all she needed to know. _They knew. And not one of them warned me._

Jack, who had always bought her a plate of his wife's cooking.

Rosie, who couldn't stop sending Peridot memes through emails.

Logan, ever trying to be the office clown by telling the worst dad jokes that made her snort laughter.

They knew what was going to happen.

Someone, somewhere really high above her head fucked up and Marigold needed someone to take the blame. Someone unimportant and insignificant to the company. Someone they could throw under the freight train when things went south.

Peridot was the fall guy and why not?  

She wasn't the best programmer in Beach City or the only one. She could be replaced just as easily as the next person who took her place. She was expendable to the company, but the thing that saddened her the most, was that her own mother pushed her in front of that train. They never had a strong relationship. Peridot never even so much as heard an “I love you” leave that woman's lips.

But Marigold was her mother, her caregiver, her provider.

Family.  
  
A cold, numbness rushed inside her and settled somewhere in her heart. _All I ever wanted was for you to care, you clod._ Peridot thought bitterly. _Why do you hate me so much?_  
  
She returned to her desk, grabbed her wallet and car keys from a locked drawer and a photo on her desk. Why wait till the end of the day to leave? Why not now? The company no longer found her work adequate enough, so why give them anymore of her time? As she was cleaning out her other drawers, her computer that had gone black from idle use brightened as an email notification flashed in the corner of the screen. It was details about severance package.  
  
A flash of anger shot through her. It found a little corner in her heart and took root.  
  
_Don’t do it, Peridot. It's not worth it_ . But even as she was thinking it, the young woman unplugged the all-in-one computer and picked it up. A sea of murmurs surrounded Peridot, but she ignored them. Security was called, her mother was yelling at her to “stop”, but Peridot was deaf to it all as she allowed her feet to carry her to her destination.  
  
It seemed like a petty sort of revenge, but there was something oh so satisfying about the crash and crunch as the computer was flung straight out one of the bay windows too meet the concrete below. The smile that came to Peridot’s lips didn't go away even after the security guards grabbed her by the arms and forcibly removed her from the building.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis is having a pretty rough day, too.

Earth wasn't anything special to Lapis.

It was just a giant rock with beautiful sights she seldom enjoyed because she was always on some business for Blue Diamond. It was supposed to be a colony a long time ago, a place for new Gems to be born and bred to conquer other plants so new Kintergartens could still be built and then the have the whole cycle start over again. Well, that's how it all started, until Pink Diamond discovered humans on it thousands of years ago. Instead of exterminating the population like the other Diamonds intended for the colony, Pink Diamond made it a destination for their Gems to relax and mingle with the locals.

It was a home away from Homeworld and that's how Lapis treated it.

One giant vacation spot.

And as such, Lapis would lay about listlessly in the rainforests, or travel to different cities. Her favorite place by far was Beach City. The people there were strange, but the ocean was the clearest in all the world Lapis liked to think.

That's where she was now. Lapis was sprawled out on top of the waves, listening to the gentle lapping of water around her watching the stars above her. She may not have liked Earth like most Gems, but she did love it's water. The ocean was such a vast, beautiful thing and the creatures in it were so fascinating. She could spend hours just swimming with dolphins and playing with the fish. One time she even discovered a ship at the bottom of the ocean filled with lost treasures. Lapis reported it to the locals as she had no need for riches such as that.

Other Lapis Lazuli stayed far from civilization because they were too rare for Blue Diamond to leave them unsupervised for any length of time. Lapis was the exception to the rule only because any attempt Blue Diamond made to stop her was like pissing on a forest fire. Lapis was going to do what she wanted. She terraformed the colony so, with all that hard work wasted, why shouldn't she come to Earth and relax?

A sudden disturbance within the flow of water made Lapis sit up. Something large was moving below the waves. It was larger than any sea creature Lapis ever encountered, and she swam among Humpback Whales in her spare time.

Somewhere in the air she smelled the faint traces of another Lapis Lazuli and...a Jasper? Lapis sniffed the air again and made a face. _Yep, that's a Jasper alright._ They hardly associated with Jaspers, not after that fight that broke out between the Diamonds some six thousand years ago. Lapis knew a Jasper; they were good friends, but only because _that_ particular Jasper wasn't as aggressive or egotistical as the others. If anything else, she was too easy going, which Lapis didn't mind at all.

“Why are they together?” Lapis wondered aloud and dove into the water to follow the energy she felt. Again, Lapis Lazuli's hardly ever left Blue Diamond's court without supervision, but another one being so close and Lapis not hearing from her? That never happened.

It took her miles and miles away from Beach City to a tiny, remote island floating in the middle of nowhere. By then the dark sky was giving way to the sun which basked the island in shades of orange, pink and red. The serene ambiance that was created was interrupted by the monstrosity that lumbred out of the water and onto the island's shore.

 _That's a fusion._ Lapis thought in awe. _Malachite._ Somehow she instinctively knew the name.

Fusions between two different Gems were becoming more and more common, but Lapis never seen one so...tall. Garnet (a fusion between Ruby and Sapphire) told her once that fusions bound together by mistrust and hostility tended to be larger than those filled with love and mutual agreement. It represented the imbalance of power between the two fusions, which deepened Lapis’ concern.

 _Does the Jasper have her trapped in a fusion?_ Lapis shook her head. That was such a biased opinion it made her ashamed. Pink Diamond would know what to do. After all, she was the leading Diamond in such matters.

Lapis was cautious as she rose from the water on watery wings. Flying would get her where she needed to go faster.

The fusion suddenly turned its head sharply in her direction. Four cloudy eyes spotted her in an instant and Lapis felt her heart lurch into her throat.

Two dark green horns protruded from her forehead, curving up past the mane of her hair - where four tinier spikes poked out of. Swirls of dark green ran across her face, but in some places the skin was cracked and peeling to reveal dark grey scales underneath. All along her body were splotches of dark grey, with specks of gold mixed in and along her shoulders, were more dark green spikes of various sizes protruding out.

 

She wasn't just a fusion. She was a _corrupted_ fusion. _This is bad. This is very, very bad._ Panic over took her and Lapis was prepared to fly far away from the fusion was possible - other Lapis Lazuli be damned.

Before she could though, Malachite called out to her, “L...Lapis...Lapis?”

Lapis felt a shiver run down her spine at how hollow her name sounded coming from her.

Malachite turned then, and there, Lapis spotted the soaking wet, mangled body of a human.

 _No._ Lapis had never been more afraid for her own life as she did in that moment, “Malachite, what did you do?”

“I-I'm sor-” her words were cut off by her own agonizing scream.

The hulking, monstrosity threw her head, opened her mouth wide to reveal rows of sharpened teeth and then plunged those teeth into the man. She ripped out a chunk of flesh, spilling entrails from his body onto the sand with in one swift jerk of her head. Lapis felt her own insides churn, feeling that light dinner of kelp and fry bits suddenly rush up, but she kept it down with a hard swallow.

“Malachite!” Lapis shouted, desperate and afraid, “Malachite, stop this, please!”.

The fusion reared back her head and roared in her direction. Malachite tried to make a grab for the smaller Gem, but the Lapis dodged and held onto her arm instead. It wasn't that much safer place to be than out in the open, but this way, Malachite would hopefully be hesitant to hurt herself.

Trying to subdue a creature that was over twenty-five feet was down right suicidal, but Lapis _needed_ to restrain Malachite. If anything, knock her back to her senses to stop her blood rage. Any Gem caught hurting a human was put in a bubble for the Diamonds to deal with at a later time. A Gem that _killed_ a human? Lapis couldn't begin to imagine how well that would go with the human population.

Lapis raised a tidal wave with one hand, fully intent on smashing it into Malachite. The fusion turned the water into a giant ice block, spoiling her plan, and slammed Lapis against it. Lapis felt every part of her body screamed in pain as it came into contact with the icewall. Somehow she managed to keep her hold on Malachite's arm, though her grip was much weaker than before.

 _Any more bright ideas, Lazuli?_ Lapis thought with bitterness as Malachite was about to slam her against wall again.

Suddenly, Malachite howled as a spear sprouted from her side.

A Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet were on the beach now, causing that panic Lapis was feeling earlier to grow tenfold.

“Lapis, stand down!” Pearl shouted.

 _Why?_ Lapis groaned in dismay. _Why did it have to be them of all Gems? “_ Please, wait! I can calm her down I just need-”

Malachite roared again, like a beast raging with no sense of purpose or direction.

Okay, maybe she didn't need to fight a corrupted fusion. Maybe she just needed to let the Crystal Gems do their job. But Lapis was as stubborn as a mule and once she set her sight on something, it was hard to dissuade her.

“You need to stand aside!” Garnet said, “We'll take it from here.”

Lapis was about to stoop to begging. The Crystal Gems should let her handle the situation, but she never got the chance. Malachite had thrown the corpse to the side and grabbed Lapis in her hand, squeezing so hard Lapis was sure she heard a rib crack. Wiggling an arm free, Lapis began raising a well of water from the sea, forming a fist. She raised that fist, ready to deck the four-eyed monstrosity in the face, but she never got the chance to throw the punch.

A sudden pain shot through her outstretched arm all the way to her shoulder.

And then...nothing.

Lapis stared up at Malachite and watched her spit out her arm.

“Lapis!” Garnet exclaimed, “Pearl, Amethyst, now!”

Lapis barely registered the three Gems fusing into one. She stared at the bloody end of her shoulder where her arm used to be, wide eyed and numb to the pain - too shocked to speak. Malachite roared when an arrow pierced into her flesh and slammed a foot into the sand creating a shockwave that caused the equally large fusion to lose balance.

Lapis felt a deep chill go through her, as if her soul was freezing inside her body. She had to get away, find some place to regenerate, or die as that was more likely.

Gems were strong, and durable. Heck even dropping a boulder on some of them did nothing, not even scratch their gems. Lapis was not one of those durable Gems. If the wounds she received were terrible, but didn't poof her, there was no way she could regenerate on her own.

With the last of her strength, while Malachite waved her around like she was some child's doll, Lapis grabbed hold of the spear lodged in Malachite’s side. She waited and waited until a moment came and thrust it right into her lower right eye. The corrupted fusion howled and threw Lapis far - far from the island where they had been fighting on and out into the sea. Even still she could hear Malachite's continued roar of anguish. All her pain and fear. It cut through her like a knife.

Malachite dove into the water to retreat and Lapis heard the Crystal Gems shouting their war cries and give chase.

They would never catch her. Malachite was half water Gem and knew the ocean better than them. She would vanish deep in the depths of the ocean and hide for eons, if she wanted to… but corrupted Gems had no such desires. They were driven by raw instincts, a need to destroy everything in their path. Maybe she would turn around and fight them, but Lapis didn't care about her or the Crystal Gems.

Her arm was gone and she could feel her life slowly slipping away as she sank to the bottom of the ocean.

She felt so tired.

Lapis opened her eyes when she felt the water ripple. Something large and dark was swimming towards her, swift as an arrow. If there was any fear left in Lapis, it vanisher when Malachite took her arm and she wondered if her death would be as quick as that human’s.

When the shape came nearer, Lapis saw it was a shark, tinted a dark orange with even darker stripes, “Lapis?” it said with worry. It circled her once. Twice and swam beneath her only to come back up to gently bump its nose against her remaining arm in a loving gesture, “What are you doing here?”

“H-hey, Jasper.” Lapis replied weakly, “I might...I need you to-”

“Lapis, you already know I can't poof you. Blue Diamond will find out and she will shatter me.” The shark swam closer to Lapis and the other Gem managed to get her arm around the dorsal fin, “You need the humans.”

Lapis was sick, but what Jasper said made her feel even worse. She never took life from a human...well she was never injured enough to justify taking from humans. Lapis may not have held humans in the highest regards, but they were good. She respected them enough to understand they already had such short lifespans, and there was no good shortening it some more.

Another shockwave shuttered beneath them, sending a rush of terror down Lapis' spine. Malachite was giving the other Gems a run for their money, but she didn't want to stick around when she surfaced again. There was nothing she could do being short an arm anyways.

The pain that she was trying hard to ignore hit Lapis full force. She clenched Jasper tighter. “G-...got to get...away.” Lapis said between clenched teeth, “The Crystal Gems.”

“I saw.” Jasper said, “Are you going to let them kill her?”

“Are you?” Lapis countered.

There wasn't just a Lapis trapped in that corrupted fusion as Jasper well knew, but the other Gem gave no response. She merely swam further and further away from the sounds of fighting until nothing but the silent abyss remained. Lapis blacked out twice, only to be gently thrashed by her protector to awaken.

“Don’t fall asleep.” Jasper warned, “If you do, I’ll punch you.”

Lapis gave a weak chuckle, but obeyed her friend and did not close her eyes for a third time.

It was a long time before Jasper resurfaced to a cove with rocky cliffs on either side of it, secluded and safe and that was all was required. Lapis groaned in dismay when she saw how far she had to go to get to the sand, but her water power got her close enough so she could drag herself on the shore. She scowled when her knee scraped against the metal edge of a can.

_Humans…_

Why did they _always_ have to ruin something beautiful?

Once on the sand, she stretched out just on the edge of the shore allowing the tide to reach her waist.

Jasper poked her head out from the water, “I swear I will bring you a human.”

The blue skinned Gem tried to dissuade her companion, but the Gem was already gone.

 _I’m going to die here._ Lapis thought bitterly. She turned her head to the sky and sighed. There was a new moon and only the stars could be seen. _But at least it's beautiful tonight._

Lapis shut her eyes, ready for death, ready to go in peace despite all the things she left unfinished.  

Somewhere, far away and faint, she heard the sound of barking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwww you guys all the kudos and comments made me almost cry. I didn't think it was gonna be this popular. Thank you!
> 
> Also my editor, Bowow0708, caught a bunch of errors, but if you find anymore lemme know so I can fix them. 
> 
> Also, also I've been waiting about 14 years for Kingdom Hearts 3. My body isn't ready for this yet!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a little drowning between new friends?

“Goddammit, Pumpkin get back here!” Peridot shouted as the corgi pup ran down Beach City’s infamous shore. 

She accidently stepped too close to the water and jumped away, as if the sea somehow burned her.

She glared baleful at the murky waters, but it was too dark for Peridot to see anything beyond the white foam on top of it. Being near any large body of water made Peridot incredibly uncomfortable and the sea brought out the worse in her fears. There too many things lurking beneath the surface, too many unknowns, so many creatures that could drown her and the thought alone made Peridot’s heart speed up and her hands shake. If given half an opportunity, Peridot would drain the ocean and be done with it. No one needed it that badly.

Unfortunately, Pumpkin _loved_ the beach and she was great therapy for Peridot. Her therapist told her that having a companion would help ease her anxiety and the exposure to the ocean would help with her fears.

In a way, it did help.

Taking care of the small dog allowed her to momentarily forget her fear but, unsurprisingly, did nothing to help her forget how miserable her life really was.

For a brief moment she was happy when she flung that computer out the window. Just a little bit satisfied in destroying company property. In hindsight that wasn't the smartest thing to do, no matter how she felt doing it.

Peridot rubbed her face tiredly. _What was I thinking_?

She never let her emotions get the better of her and, thanks to that one self gratifying moment, she was paying for it dearly.

Quite literally.

It was by her mother’s “benevolence” did Peridot not see any actual jail time, but she had to sign an agreement stating she would pay for all damages done including replacements and the work needed for repairs.

Just remembering that list made Peridot regret her act of recklessness even more:

-two thousand for the computer

-600 for the broken window

-one thousand for sidewalk repair because apparently was cracked

\- then there was the undisclosed bail money her mother put up for her release

And on top of that there was some cunt on the 3rd floor who was going to sue her for damages to her car that Peridot highly doubted existed. But, hey, when you throw random things out a window without looking, you shouldn't be shocked when someone decides to sue you for “damages”.

Unsurprisingly, Peridot lost the severance package, but Marigold did say she was still getting her vacation hours, sick days and personals paid out. That was a hefty paycheck, but most of it would be going back to her mother, so she would be still be floating on what little savings she had left. Peridot would have to find another job that paid more or near enough to live and help pay off what she owed her mother.

And to think: getting fired, going to jail and being indebted to her mother was just the shittest start to an even shittier day. When Peridot eventually returned to the company building she found that someone towed her car, so she had to take the bus to her danky apartment on the edge of the city where she promptly found someone had broken in and stole over four grand worth of electronics so a police report had to be filed.

After all that, there was so much noise in Peridot's head that it became difficult to think. She needed to think in order to plan out her expenses. There was so much she needed to do, but she was so tired. All she wanted to do was go home and take a bubble bath, but she couldn't, not yet anyways.

Pumpkin still wanted to play Keep-Away and Peridot refused to chase after her. Everything was going wrong today, so a rebellious eight month old dog wasn't the worst thing she had to deal with.

The little dog suddenly began to bark hysterically and went into a full run instead of the playful trot she used to lead Peridot on.

Panic took over her. Her miserable day taking a backseat in her mind. There was no predator that could snatch Pumpkin, but the dog was little and could get stuck in a hole some little kid dug up earlier in the day. Break a leg, her neck, her face. Peridot didn't even want to think about how much that vet bill might cost.

Pumpkin ran up a sand dune with a patch of rocky grass on at the top - a clear indication there was at least a thirty foot drop on the other side. They were far enough away from the public beach to start encountering hidden coves and inlets.

“Pumpkin! It's time to go home!” Peridot shouted after the dog. The image of a tiny red splat on the rocks below made her run all the faster, “Pumpkin!”

She was ignored, because Pumpkin was blissfully ignorant of her master's panic.

Peridot raced after the dog in desperation, yelling her name out to no avail. It wasn't until the little dog disappeared between a few rocks that the barking stopped.

“No! Get back here, you mangy clod!” Peridot demanded, nearly slipping on a wet rock and falling nearly thirty feet to the sheltered inlet below. She barely kept her feet, “Pumpkin, stop playing around and...oh my stars.”

Down below her pup was tugging the skirt of a girl sprawled out on the shore.

“Pumpkin! Get away from her!” Peridot scuttled down the side of the cliffs as fast as she could without sliding down. When her feet hit the wet sand below she trotted up to both dog and the woman. She knelt to the dog to secure the leash on her collar, “Bad Pumpkin!”

The dog whimpered and tugged against her leash, almost as if she was telling Peridot she was refusing to leave. Sighing, Peridot put a hand on the woman’s shoulder. _Sure, God, just dump an unconscious woman in my path. I need this right now._

“Hey, are you okay...oh.” The shorter woman paled at the sight of blood.

The woman's skin was blue and her hair, short and unkempt, was a few shades darker. Both were indications that the woman was not a woman at all. She was a Gem and she had a bloody shoulder where her right arm should have been.

“Hospital!” Peridot said out loud digging frantically in her pockets for her phone, “Shit! Where is it?!”

She was panicking and she knew it. Her heart was in her lungs, her stomach in her throat, her wits somewhere out in space.

The dog tilted her head to the side and looked at her master oblivious to her woes.

“Holy stars did I leave it in the car? Of course you did, you clod! Why wouldn't you?!” Peridot shouted once she couldn't find her phone on her. “I’ll get you some help!”

No, she couldn't. Peridot couldn't consciously leave another living being to bleed to death, alone at night in the cold.

Peridot wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist and dragged her further onto shore. _Her skin is so smooth- stop it, Peridot. Hospital first!_ She had to get her somewhere safe. There were Gem sanctuaries all over Beach City, probably more than in the entire state. Peridot just had to get her to one, but dragging her across the sand wasn't going to get her anywhere fast.

“Okay, okay I got this.” Peridot told herself. She had to carry her up the rocky sides, and maybe half a mile of beach before she reached civilization.

She dropped the Gem just for a moment to roll her onto her side. Getting her one arm over her shoulder was easy, pulling her up on her feet wasn't. The Gem was all dead weight and no help as Peridot managed to get the Gem on her back. Her legs were already shaking from the strain and her breath was coming out in short pants.

 _Might as well be carrying a boulder._ Peridot thought spitefully.

Pumpkin was already up the rocky side, barking encouragement down at her owner as Peridot found a good foothold.

“This...is all your fault…” Peridot spat up at the dog. If only Pumpkin just came to her when she called.

Peridot made it up and over what seemed like years later. Her hoodie was soaked with sweat making her feel gross and made her crave a shower. Pumpkin tugged at her pants to get her going, but she barely made it down the slope onto the beach before her legs gave out and she collapsed onto the sand.

She rolled the Gem off her back, “I don't know who you are, but you owe me.” Peridot declared once she caught her breath. She looked over to the blue skinned Gem. _She's actually...kinda pretty._ Peridot blanched at her own thoughts. _And now you're officially a creeper. Awesome job, clod._

With a groan of pain Peridot fell backwards onto the sand and looked up the night sky (just to rest a bit, she was essentially an old lady in a twenty-three year old body). Pumpkin bounded up to her and started licking her face all over. _God, this is Peridot asking you nicely to_ stop _fucking with me today. I don_ 't _think I can take anymore surpris-_

Suddenly the sand shifted beside her and the Gem shot upwards, nearly giving Peridot a heart attack.

“Jesus!” Peridot jolted up as well. She felt her heart lurch into her throat by the startle, but after realizing it was just the Gem, she gave a sigh of relief. “Are you okay? Should you be sitting up?”

The Gem turned her head to her slowly, eyes glazed over and distant as if she wasn't seeing Peridot. Yet, somehow, Peridot felt those blue eyes examining her, as if the Gem was searching for something.

“Um…” Peridot didn't know what to say, “Hey-”

A hand shot out and grabbed her roughly by the front of her hoodie. Before Peridot could demand what she was doing, cold lips pressed against her own. They tasted salty - like the ocean - but also soft. Peridot pushed her hands against the strange Gem's shoulders when a sudden panic rushed inside her chest.

She couldn't breath.

It felt as if water was filling her lungs up. It felt as if she was drowning _._ Every time she tried pulling away the Gem pushed her down until her back was against the sand. The weight of the Gem’s body was pressing against her own; their lips never broke contact.

It wasn't until Peridot’s vision begin to fade did she feel the wetness of tears dripping on her face.

Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, totally forgot to update this. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
> 
> Next chapter will be in a few days, before Tuesday for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot gets a little something for all her trouble.

Lapis sat up straight as an arrow gulping in air as a fish would out of water. Her head was spinning; she felt like her body was put through a trash compactor, but she was alive.

She was alive and whole and she _really_ needed to hit something. Lapis raised both her hands to her face and clenched them into fists to test their strength.

“Stars, when I get my hands on Jasper I'm going to drown her.” She muttered darkly, recalling how her dear friend left her in the middle of nowhere to die.

No. That wasn't right.

Jasper did leave her, but only to find her a human so she could leech off, but it seemed one found her instead.

Lapis took a long look at the human beneath her. It was almost laughable how bad her luck was. Fighting a corrupted fusion, getting her arm bitten off, nearly dying, God it was going to be a gaint cluster fuck when word about Malachite reached the Diamonds.

What would Blue Diamond do?

What would Pink Diamond do?

What will the humans do?

Lapis knuckled her tears away, realising she was crying and slapped her cheeks to wake herself up. _Keep it together, Lapis._

The little dog that found her nudged the human's face with a whimper before licking her cheek anxiously.

“Sorry, little guy.” Lapis whispered. She did recall hearing a faint barking before she finally blacked out, “Were you the one making all that noise?”

The water Gem lifted the dog up. It struggled, then quieted once Lapis patted its head. She checked the tags: **if found please return to Peridot Isana Wilder at…**

“Peridot, huh…” Lapis squinted at the smaller woman and chuckled. She could pass as a Gem by name alone, if she wanted to.

Lapis then took a moment to find her bearings. She was not at the cove anymore, but was surrounded by sand, “It seems I should thank you for rescuing me, but...”

It was odd getting a read on her. The human's heart was filled to the brim with a mixture of sadness, rage and hatred that threatened to overwhelm Lapis’ senses. There was something undeniably off with the human the more she studied her freckled face. She just couldn't put her finger on _why_ her body moved on its own and latched onto this human for her life. Gems avoided humans that had an unusual balance of negative to positive emotions such as those, humans whom held malice in their heart. This human had a great weight in her chest.

_And yet..._ Lapis studied the woman's face carefully. Her body just moved once she regained consciousness.

Was her desire to live that strong?

_If it wasn't I'd be a pile of dust._ Lapis thought, disgruntled.

The dog squirmed out of her arms and jumped onto Peridot’s face before bouncing away to chase a seagull.

“Dammit, Pumpkin!” the human sat up, rubbing her face, “Why do you do that?”

Lapis gave a short chuckle, “I'm sure she just wanted to play.”

Peridot paused and her looked up at her realizing that Lapis was on top of her. She looked confused for a moment, then her eyes shone and grew wide with recognition, remembering what just happened. Her face was bright red in the moonlight.

“You...did you just try to kill me?” Embarrassment gave way to sudden anger, “What the hell was that? I just tried to help you!”

“It was just a kiss.” Lapis said, giving the human an amused smirk. It only grew when the human stared at her and began to sputter indignantly.

"Y-you k-k-kissed-” Her face grew even redder and Lapis couldn't help but find that too damn adorable, “Why did you kiss me-” her eyes widened when they fell on Lapis' arms, “Your arm grew back?”

Lapis raised the arm in question for the human to inspect, “I haven't thanked you yet for the the rescue back there.” She tried not to laugh when the human's face burned, “Thank you, Peridot."

Peridot adjusted her glasses nervously, “Y-yeah. No problem. You seemed pretty beat up and I couldn't just leave you there. Which Gem you are, anyways?”

“My name is Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.” Lapis said with an easy smile.

Peridot did not return the smile. Instead she stared at Lapis for a very long time.

The Gem thought she would actually scream in terror. Humans weren't exactly the most accepting with rouge encounters with Gems. Peridot was different in that regard.

She said deadpanned, “Can you get off of me now? You're making me _incredibly_ uncomfortable.”

Lapis slowly got to her feet and helped Peridot up as well. She was almost a head taller than her. _Wow she’s tiny._ The human's face was red from ear to ear ( _Crude, she’s cute too…)_ “I’m...sorry for forcing you into that by the way. I needed the help or else...”

Peridot shrugged nonchalantly, “Getting molested by an alien and having my life cut short aren’t the worst things that happened to me today.”

“I didn't molest you.” Lapis said, defensively, “If you know what I am, you won't have cause to complain.”

“Oh what could I possibly need that’ll make this day any better?” Peridot questioned, each word dripping with sarcasm.

_And she bites._ “A kick in the face, maybe?” Lapis suggested with a half smile.

Peridot scowled, “Gee, thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Peridot continued to stare angrily at her, “Mind explaining how you ended up in that cove to begin with?”

“Can't say I recall…”

Lapis did, but she wasn't about to divulge the presence of a man-eating fusion to a human. Peridot might be taking her presence very well, but who knew what would happen if she was told that tidbit.

There were pressing matters for Lapis to address so she started looking around the beach, searching for anything to use as a test subject. She could have thrown the dog, but Peridot might take that the wrong way. She walked to the shore, knelt, picked up something from the sand and threw it right at Peridot’s face.

“HEY!” Peridot stuck her hands out to catch the item, but when nothing hit her hand or her face, she opened her eyes (having closed them in her panic), “Oh my stars.”

Floating midair was a can.

Lapis sniffed with distaste, “You humans really should stop leaving your trash everywhere.” She walked around the can, inspecting it, “Either telekinesis or ferrokinesis. Can’t tell honestly. Might need to experiment with that.”

Peridot’s mouth hung open in disbelief. She gazed at the can and moved her hands to make it go up and down, then side to side. Lapis studied her face carefully, waiting for the inevitable. She was thinking, Lapis could practically hear her thoughts running through her mind. Humans tended to overreact from getting such gifts, but Peridot seemed to be taking it well.

A little too well.

“I have powers now?” the human asked in astonishment.

“Temporarily. It's the trade off for giving Gems a bit of your life. We get to heal a little faster and you get powers for a few hours.” Lapis explained.

Peridot gave Lapis an incredulous look, “Do you guys just give telekinesis powers to just anyone?” Before Lapis answered, Peridot's eyes grew wide. “Hold on a second, do you _have_ to kiss someone to do this? Does every Gem do it that way? That's unsanitary.”

The Blue Gem scratched the back of her head, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the accusation, “Eh...no...it's not always a kiss. Rarely, even. There's a dozen different ways to transfer life, but…” she was hesitating, “My body just chose on its own.”

Peridot looked at her like she didn't believe her, so Lapis moved on.

“And the power depends on the human, not us. For all I knew you would have been given super speed or flaming hands.”

Peridot nodded, mulling the information in her head for a time before she finally asked, “How do you know someone isn't going to use these powers for unlawful acts?”

Stars, if Lapis knew she was going to play twenty questions with the human she should have just left the minute she woke up, “Ever wonder why some Gems don’t like being around humans?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Well, you guys give off the worst vibe. We can sorta feel your intentions. If we have any doubts about you, we find someone else. You seemed decent enough.”

“I’m not exactly a good person. For all you know I’m a serial killer that kidnaps people, drains them of their blood and then dumps their bodies in a ditch.”

“Oddly specific there, and that sounds more like something a vampire would do.”

Peridot continued to scowl, and Lapis knew she wanted an answer.

“Look, I wouldn’t have bothered, if you were a psychopath.” Lapis said, “You're also taking this surprisingly well. Most humans would have attempted to skin us alive after what we’ve done.”

Humans were super protective of their lives - what with only 80 or so years on average, dying at an earlier age seemed too much for them to accept. Obviously Lapis was ignoring the smokers and Darwinian Award winners, the ignorant, plain stupid, the unlucky and old. Some were glad to help a Gem out once or twice, but eventually the thought of dying early killed whatever sympathy they had left for the Gem.

Peridot gave a snort laugh and flung the can aside earning a glare from the Gem, “My day has been bad from the start. Literally nothing more can make my life any worse.”

“It's still pretty early. I'm sure _something_ will happen. Like a tidal wave can come in and sweep you out to sea-” she meant it as a light joke, but Peridot’s face went white as snow.

“Don't you dare wish that on me!” Peridot snapped hotly.

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding!” Lapis raised her hands in surrender. _Maybe she can't swim._

After a stretch of awkward silence, Peridot sighed very loudly, “So, what now?”

“I never actually taken life from a human before, so, if it's alright with you…” Lapis released her own sigh then. She _really_ didn't want to ask this, but she was afraid of what might happen, “Do you mind if I make sure you don't end up having a heart attack later?”

Peridot's eyes narrowed, “You can't be serious.”

“It's really up to you.” Lapis said with a hint of playfulness in her tone. Hopefully the human got the subtle message and said yes.

She continued to stare at Lapis, weighing her options carefully. On the one hand she could just leave and pretend she never saw Lapis, pretend she didn't have powers now and go home. On the other...die from a heart attack that might not even happen…

“Fine. I'm parked about a mile that way.” Peridot grumbled as she pointed vaguely towards the lights in the distance, “Just let me get-”

“Here, Pumpkin!” Lapis called, knowing what Peridot was going to say.

The beige and white dog came running up to them and launched into Lapis’ outstretched arms. The human watched in annoyance, “Oh sure! You go to _her_ when she calls, but when I do it, you wanna play games.”

Pumpkin barked at Peridot.

That only angered Peridot further, “Don't give me that innocent look, you traitor! This is all your fault.”

Lapis didn't quite understand what Peridot meant by that, but it made her all the same. She really did find the most amusing person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picture is FINALLY relevant!  
> http://dement09.tumblr.com/post/181816976913/some-gem-x-human-aus-happening-over-here-and-i  
> Top one obviously. Second one is still in the far away future. Posted the tumblr link instead of Twitter cause I already did that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot's a useless piece of trash that not even her mother wanted. But Lapis might, and that's all that matters.

**_A Recollection of Gem History_ **

_Gems - A Short Introduction_

_Gems as we know them are precious stones made of minerals and various compounds found deep in the Earth. They are used for many purposes besides jewelry such as dyes, paints, and decoration. Some have value in the upwards of a hundred thousand dollars, other so common they can be found just by overturning a rock._

_The Gems I wish to speak of are far more valuable than the trinket dangling from your wrists and throats._

_Gems are sentient beings that came from the outer reaches of space. They came by ships, curiously in the shape of hands, and settled here thousands of years ago. Some historians claim the Gems arrived well before humans evolved, fleeing an unknown space disease named The Corruption (more on page 75)._

_There are millions of Gems of different cuts, colors and each have personalities unique to their gem type. They are sexless. This can be confusing because documented Gems have been seen to take on more shapely feminine qualities - such as Pearl and Sapphire and the Diamonds. On the other hand rougher cut Gems, i.e. Ruby and Jasper, have more masculine qualities such as broad shoulders and bulky masses. Although they are sexless, they all use she/her pronouns._

_All Gems also possess Super Strength, but a few have the ability to control elements such as: water, metal, fire and ice. Others can control gravity to their will and can create a blackhole the size of the palm of their hands and even bend reality to their will-_

Peridot shut her book and tossed it on the stack beside her desk, “Gem study is about as fascinating as watching a snail race.” She said as she rubbed the ache out of her shoulder, “There's a reason I didn't become a History Major.”

Despite all her digging, there was nothing about power gifting in _any_ of the Gem textbooks she read in the long day. Scouring the internet helped just as much, which was rather disappointing. People couldn't hold a secret as big as superpowers. _Someone_ would have blogged about it, news articles would be plastering it everywhere, but all she turned up was conspiracy theories filled with nonsense and hyperbole.

Peridot glanced over to her bed to check on the Gem currently taking space on it. Lapis Lazuli was tucked beneath the blankets, snoring loudly.

 _Like a chainsaw._ Peridot thought spitefully as she grabbed another book and flipped through the pages absently.

The power Lapis had given her was still present. It was frightening the water Gem to the point she refused to leave Peridot alone until the powers went away. They were supposed to research the subject more, but, as it happened, Lapis was not much of a reader so she opted to catch up on her sleep, leaving Peridot to do the leg work. Not like she needed the help, but Lapis _was_ supposed to write down when Peridot used her powers. Every thirty or so minutes Peridot would raise a soda can or her tablet to test whether she had the powers or not. So far it had been nearly 8 hours since she got her powers (a little over 24 hours since she last slept), and she could easily lift her objects as if they were pieces of cotton.

 _Lazuli did say only a few hours._ Peridot wondered. _Why hasn't it gone away yet?_ She stared at her hands. They were the most important things to her because she could create with them, and now they could do unimaginable things. Yet she was not meant to hold on to these powers. That was what frightened her the most. What if they never went away? _Maybe...maybe I was meant to have metal powers. Peridots can manipulate metals. My namesake_.

Marigold told her she named her Peridot because of her eyes.

A silly thought crossed her mind and she snorted at the ludicrous idea. _Maybe I’m actually a Gem and was abandoned by Yellow Diamond and Marigold found me and decided to raise me amongst her own family. She took me in, loved me, called me her Little Star. She molded me to be just as she wanted me to be._

Peridot heaved a sigh. _Then she discarded me like a piece of trash once I was no longer of any use. Good ol’ Peridot. Just useless garbage._

There was a pain in her chest she couldn't identity; it wasn't physical, not like when her sister punched her in the chest, but it felt someone was trying to reach through her rib cages and pull her heart out. Peridot threw the book in a hysterical fit of rage. _Useless._

_“Peridot, if you want to make your mother happy do something useful.”_

Useless _._

_“Stop crying, Peridot! You're embarrassing me.”_

Useless _._

_“How could I make such a useless child like you?”_

**Fucking useless!**

Peridot flung the book aside and it landed with a thud on the bare, wood floors. _Fuck!_ Her hands were in her hair, digging into her scalp.

Why didn't she just double check with her mother before sending the projects out? It would have taken two minutes to verify the work, not even. Peridot could have _easily_ integrated the programs to their own system to do a building wide test; she had that authority. Why couldn't she just _think_?! All she had to do was think for one Diamond forsaken moment. And because of her oversight her mother threw her under a bus.

 _Who would ever love a useless clod like me, if my own mother didn't_?

Tears came before she had a chance to stop them and no amount of brushing them away made them go away.

A hand on her shoulder startled Peridot, and she whirled “What? What do you want?!”

Lapis was beside her, gazing at her with curiosity, or was it pity?

Peridot didn't need that. She didn't need anything from this Gem except for her to leave her be. Let her wallow in her self pity. The pain in her chest seemed to worsen and Peridot was going to cry all over again if Lapis kept looking at her like that.

“Are you okay?” Lapis asked. Such a simply question that held so much power over her Peridot began to cry all over again. Lapis’ face remained impassive, as if she didn't see the tears at all and Peridot couldn't have been more grateful for that, “Is it your power? Is it hurting you.” She gave Peridot's shoulder a gentle squeeze, “Is it something else?”

 _Dammit_. Peridot wiped her tears away more fiercely, “Sorry, I…” She paused to take a deep breath, “I suppose it's all starting to hit me.”

Lapis shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. It was clear she wanted to ask something, but seemed to struggle to get the words out, “Do you...do you want to talk about it?”

The young woman looked up at Lapis, unsure of what to make about Lapis' sudden concern. Peridot never told the Gem the whole story - just bits and pieces. Maybe it would best if she did explain...something. She didn't know why she started talking, but she felt the Gem was just easy to speak to. She wasn't even human; maybe that was the reason why Peridot told Lapis everything while the Gem sat on the edge of the bed, listening intently.

Lapis nodded along, pretending to be interested as Peridot explained what her job was. She giggled when Peridot told her that joke she made about Lars’ wife. Her face went still as stone when Peridot said her mother fired her from.Yellow Diamond's company. The ocean Gem laughed when Peridot got to the part of the story where she flung the office computer out the window. And, when Peridot got to everything else, Lapis’ looked like she didn't understand. Peridot doubted Lapis even knew how debt worked - with her being a Gem and all.

After all was said, Lapis leaned back on her hands, “That is a lot to take.” She looked absurdly guilty, “I didn't make it any better, did I?”

“You didn't make it any worse.” Peridot sighed. It was nice to get all that off her chest. It was nice just talking, “I’m sorry for dumping that all on you.”

“It's good to know a little bit more about you.” Lapis said with a small smile, “Must have been hard learning all that computer stuff. I saw one once when I visited a library for the first time. I didn't understood how it worked.”

Peridot smiled, “It's pretty easy to learn. Coding on the other hand is a bloody nightmare, especially if you have a hundred bugs and have no idea what happened.”

“There are insects in your computers?” Lapis asked, returning the smile.

That was the lamest thing Peridot ever heard, but a snort of amusement came from out of her without her permission, “Sure.”

She got up, picked up the book she tossed aside recklessly and sat back at her desk, “Did you find anything?” the blue Gem questioned.

“Nothing.” Peridot raised her hand to try and lift her tablet in the air. When it did not so much as twitch, Peridot put her hand down and sighed in relief, “Well, I think that's the end of that.” Peridot announced, “Nothing to worry about now. Seeing how I'm currently not dying from a heart attack, you can go home I guess.”

The thought made Peridot frown, but she was turned away so Lapis couldn't see it. She'd be alone again. With Pumpkin.

Lapis looked away, “I can't really go home yet.”

Wasn't the ocean her home?

Peridot tilted her head, “Why not?”

“Malachite.”

Peridot turned in her seat, face screwed up in confusion. The name meant nothing to her, “Who?”

“A Gem fusion.”

“Fusion?” Peridot echoed. She gave a half smile, “Is that a euphemism for sex?” she was trying to get Lapis to laugh and it worked, sort of.

Lapis chuckled as she shook her head, “No. Why do you humans alwaye assume fusion is about sex?”

“Sorry, I only ever heard about it on the news, but never looked into it myself.”

“Well, the bare basic idea is Gems can fuse to become a larger entity or take on an entirely new form. Malachite is a fusion between a Lapis Lazuli and Jasper.”

“So you can’t go home...because of her? Okay.” Peridot laughed, “What did she do? Forget to sacrifice a goat to your great Diamond?”

Lapis’ mouth formed into a thin, hard frown, “She's currently going on a murder spree.”

“Oh…” Peridot rubbed the back of her neck nervously. She probably shouldn’t have made a joke about it. Her mouth was going to ruin what little friendship was forming between them if she wasn't careful, “Don't you guys have some code against killing?”

“We have to keep some peace between the human race and Gems, so we have strict rules against harming humans.” Lapis replied sadly, “You know the Crystal Gems?”

“Who doesn't? They're like superheroes.”

“They have a reputation keeping the peace where there are Gem and humans conflicts, but their real purpose is to hunt down corrupted Gems.” Lapis explained, “Malachite...the last time I saw her, she was semi-consciously aware. I was hoping she'd be brought back to her senses.”

“Let me guess: you got stuck in the middle of a Crystal Gem/Corrupted fusion fight and that's how your arm got bitten off?”

“Actually…” Peridot saw the look of hurt and fear pass across Lapis' face. Or was that guilt? She really tried to read Lapis' face, but it seemed she was destined to guess her emotions again, “I was trying to stop her, but I couldn't. I think...I think she may have been my sister.”

“Sister?” Peridot's voice came out small, “Aren't all Lapis Lazuli technically sisters?”

Lapis shook her head, “The two of us did not come out of a Kindergarten. We were the first ones Blue Diamond had made, before Kindergartens were established, Generation Ones, and we stuck by each other very closely for a few thousand years.”

There was a lot to ask about in that sentence, but Peridot decided not to. Sometimes she could be a little overbearing when it came to inquiries.

“How do you know she was the same one?”

“I recognized her by scent.” Lapis replied. She looked really sad.

...what was she supposed to say to that? Clearly Lapis was bothered by this, but words could Peridot possibly say to make this Gem feel better?

Peridot gave a noise of acknowledgement and, decided to end that conversation there. She had a few more questions about Gems in general, but went back to her book. Hours passed in silence, until Peridot’s cell rang.

“Hello?” Peridot answered.

“ _Peridot, it's Sadie.”_

“Sadie? What's up?”

“ _Lars never came home from work yesterday and I called your mom. She says he never showed up and she’s threatening to terminate him.”_

Peridot’s eyes widened. _Never went home...that's odd. Those two are still in the honeymoon phase and it makes me sick...but they're never a day apart._

“He was working on a project.” Peridot said, “I went to get him a cup of coffee, but he wasn't in his chair when I went to give it to him. I just assumed he went to the bathroom.”

“ _You think your mom can check the security cameras for me? I have a feeling...that something bad happened to him.”_

Peridot resisted the urge to laugh at the notion of her mother doing anything remotely beneficial for Lars.

“No, she won't do that without a warrant, but I can look for you. Gimme a bit, okay?”

“ _Thanks, Peri. Call me as soon as you get something okay?”_

“It's Peridot.” The woman snipped back, but the line went dead. Grumbling to herself, Peridot wheeled her chair to the left side of her long desk where two monitors and a tower sat side by side.

Peridot still had connections in higher places. After she discovered her place burglarized, the programmer called every favor she could afford at that moment and received a new set up in less than two hours. Luckily, her professional and personal programs and side projects were backed up on an offsite server so her data was recoverable. Whoever broke into her apartment was a whole other mystery, one she would unravel after helping Sadie out.

Cracking her knuckles, Peridot got to work opening windows that contained programs she was sure were still connected to the company. Lapis watched with mild interest as Peridot typed away at the keyboard, in awe of how fast the windows closed, opened, expanded with stings of green and white code zipping across the screen. She finally slide off the bed and leaned over Peridot’s shoulder to get a better look. Almost a minute later, a window with four squares took over Peridot’s middle screen.

Lapis stared at them with eyes full of curiosity, “I-is this legal?”

“Not in the slightest!” Peridot gave zero fucks about her mother's position in Yellow Diamond's sector and the legal ramifications of hacking into their security networks, “But bypassing the firewalls and security system is child’s play if you're the one who wrote half the code. I’m surprised they didn't introduce a whole other one in place of mine…”

“You're pretty smart.” Lapis commented.

A faint red flushed across Peridot's cheeks and she gave a reluctant half-grin, “Yeah, well...anyone with too much free time on their hands can learn the ins and outs of coding.”

Lapis gave snort, then laughed, “I have nothing but time. If you can teach me how to code, I’ll help you get out of debt. Seems only fair.”

That was never going to happen, but the sentiment did bring a warmer smile to Peridot's lips, “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, wasn't really satisfied with it so I kept editing it and I'm still not happy...I'm in a weird place right now mentally.
> 
> Next chapter should be out in a few days or next week after I settle after moving. And I will be addressing Peridot's family issues more in later chapters (spoiler: they get worse :3)
> 
> And, once again, thanks for all the kudos. I appreciate every one and the readers kind enough to leave one. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis tells Peridot some bad news and it goes about how she expected.

 

Lapis left Peridot to her computers and began wondering around the small, but homey, apartment. It wasn't too spacious; it had the one bedroom that lead to the living room, which was also attached to the open kitchen that looked like no one cooked in it for a while. In between that space was a island counter with four chairs. Each had several things stacked on their seats: books, loose papers, notebooks and folders, an opened back of instant noodles, a leash and several collars-

_ Oh, what have we here _ ? Lapis looked about to make sure Peridot wasn't around.

She went over to the chair where the collars rested on and picked up a black one. It was studded with silver beads and had a thick buckle that Lapis had to undo to get a better look at it. On the side was soft and supple leather, on the other: stripes of dark, red fur. Fake fur if Lapis was to take a guess. W _ hy Peridot would buy this for Pumpkin is beyond me. That dog is too tiny for this.  _

Lapis set it back down on the chair and continued exploring. Despite that mess by the kitchen, Lapis was impressed by how tidy and clean the small space was, but it was so...bare.

Sure, there was a very comfy looking couch and TV stand, but there was nothing on the gray colored walls. 

No decorations on the wall.

No clock.

No family photos unsurprisingly. The way Peridot talked about her mother it was like she was a monster.

Lapis frowned, remembering what Peridot said. She didn't understand family dynamics, not in the human sense, but she knew enough to know the way Peridot's mother treated her was inexcusable. Even Blue Diamond was neglectful from time to time, but she was never unkind to any of her Gems, treated them all with a marginal degree of respect. She always found time to hear her Gem's woes and give them an encouraging word. Not Marigold. From the sound of her she was just like Yellow Diamond.

Now there was a Diamond Lapis could stand to never see again...

As Lapis wondered about aimlessly, she took note of how dusty the bookshelf next to the TV was. She ran a finger along the surface, collecting a thick layer of dust and grimaced. She wiped it on her skirt.  _ Well, the place was clean as long as no one looked hard enough. I'll dust a bit as thank- _

Her eyes caught the rows of spine on a tall bookcase next to the TV. She clenched her jaw tightly, remembering how frustrated she was on one page into the book Peridot gave her. She didn't mean to fall asleep in Peridot's bed. Heck, she wasn't even tired, but she had to do something to keep Peridot from asking questions. Feigning boredom and falling asleep was a lot less embarrassing than proclaiming she was illiterate.

Being unable to read made her so ashamed with herself that she didn't have it in her to say anything. Sure, she can read a word here, a word there, but she couldn't cobble a sentence together in her mind to understand what was written. As a Gem who stayed away from humans, for the most part, Lapis never bothered to learn. To fill her time while other Gems were learning the art of human writing, Lapis spent her time watching cooking shows. It was a mere curiosity at first. She copied what she saw on TV and recreated the dishes. With no real measure of what “tasted good”, Lapis shared the meals she made with any human willing to be a test subject. It was odd that she turned into a great cook, so the humans claimed, but she couldn't read a recipe to save her life. 

For her, it felt too late to learn to read now and Lapis wasn't about to ask Peridot for lessons.

As the ocean Gem moved away from the bookcase, she paused. Another row of colorful spines that weren't books caught her eye. Peridot had all the current seasons of Camp Pining Hearts lined up neatly next to her TV. 

Lapis practically squealed in delight and rushed over to the stand to inspect the deluxe box sets. The water Gem  _ loved  _ that show, even though she watched one season. It was season five, but apparently that was a trash season and someone advise she should start from the beginning. Still it was the one that got her hooked. She grabbed the first boxset and held as delicately as of it was a baby bird, then sprinted back to Peridot’s room.

The blonde was hunched forward, green eyes narrowed in concentration. Lapis almost felt bad approaching her. “Hey, Peridot?”

“Hmm?” Peridot didn't take her eyes away from her screen so Lapis moved closer.

“Can I watch this?”

The human had to crane her head around to stare at what was in Lapis' hands. Her eyes lit up with recognition, “You watch CPH?”

“Season five and only half of that.”

“That season was trash!” Peridot proclaimed. She abandoned her monitors and swerved in her chair to face Lapis, “Percy and Pierre are obviously written to end up together. Episode seven's original script basically had them in each other’ laps, but no, the producers were such fucking cowards about the potential backlash from the fans, LGBT community, local politicians and their own mothers, they let the network get their hands on it and ruined what could have been the greatest season of television history! You know, not counting the first one. Still after the disastrous ratings from season 4, CPH made up for it with those movies. Though, I don't count the movies as canon. They're good on their own merit, if you want to watch those as well, I have them in 4k.”

Lapis could only stare, wide-eyed and impressed that Peridot barely paused for breath to rant. It was so damn adorable the way Peridot's eyes shone with excitement and how her hands moved about with erratic movement to illustrate her displeasure.

“So can I watch them?” Lapis asked before Peridot could go on in another bout of ranting. 

“Sure. Get yourself acquainted with the best show on Earth. The dvd player should still be under my bed, if no one stole that.” There was a hint of annoyance in Peridot's voice when she said it, but Lapis understood. It probably was the worst feeling to find all your stuff stolen in one afternoon right after getting fired from a well paying job. 

Lapis went to the bed and fondled under it before her hands grasped around a cold, plastic box. She pulled it out and smiled triumphantly, “Mind if I watch it here?”

Oddly enough, the Gem had no desire to watch the show alone, and secretly hoped Peridot would let her stay.

As if the human heard her secret wish, she nodded her consent, “The noise will distract me, so keep it down or turn on the subtitles.”

Instead of embarrassing herself by declaring she could barely read, Lapis hunkered down on the bed and put in the first of six DVDs. She turned the volume down to barely be heard and lost herself in the badly written drama.

Lapis was halfway through episode three when Peridot cursed loudly and slammed her hands on the desk. The sudden noise made Lapis snap her lidded eyes open. Before she could think to ask what was wrong, Peridot rounded on Lapis in a wordless fury, eyes filled with a boiling rage the Gem never seen before on a human. Peridot looked like she was going to say something to her, only she clenched her jaw and turned back to her desk. For a moment the only sounds were Peridot grinding her teeth and the CPH interlude.

That was enough to make Lapis abandon her episode. The water Gem slowly got off the bed watching as Peridot slumped against the desk and grumbled something incoherent. 

“What the hell, Lars?” Peridot said to no one, but Lapis was sure she wanted an answer.

Lapis hesitantly put a hand on Peridot’s back, much to the human’s annoyance, but she made no effort to pull away. When it was safe to, the Gem rubbed Peridot’s back in soothing circles as she looked at the screen. The security feed was shrunk to one square, paused the on the man Peridot was searching for. It was showing him leaving the building, but where he was going was unknown. He looked...oddly familiar. Lapis squinted at the screen to try and decipher some clues as to  _ who  _ he was.

Something caught her eye - an entirely different window was another paused security feed pointing to a window...and a figure  _ flying  _ outside it. On the final frame, a street security camera froze on a thin figure with watery wings outside the building. Along her body were cracks and disfigured colors, ugly scars writhing along her shoulders and legs and on her lower back was a gleaming gem in the shape of a water drop. 

Lapis covered her mouth with her hands and backed away as realization hit her across the face. No wonder Peridot looked at  _ her  _ like she was some sort of demon. Whatever happened to Lars, a Gem was involved and Lapis had a sickening feeling she knew which one.

“Peridot…”

“I know it wasn't you.” Peridot snapped, “It just looks...how am I supposed to tell Sadie her  _ husband  _ ran off to some Gem? He’s a faithful guy, a little very much annoying, but he was pretty reliable at work. And he eloped with a Gem?! What the Hell Lars!?” 

“He didn't do that.” There was no point in trying to hide the truth, “He’s dead. Malachite ate part of him.”

There was a heavy pause in the air and that was just a long enough time before Peridot _completely_ _lost her fucking mind._

“Goddammit!” Peridot shouted angrily. Her hands swept across the desk clearing it of the keyboard and one of the monitors. Papers and books went clattering to the floor shortly after, “Just fucking great! Dead?! Fucking dead? Lapis, do you have any idea what’s going to happen when this gets out? THERE'S A MAN-EATING GEM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN!” 

Clearly this human had some anger issues she needed to work out.

“I know that!” Lapis shouted back, her anger finally boiling to the surface. It was unbelievable how emotional the human was getting, “I tried to stop her; you have to believe me-”

“You don't have to convince me!” Peridot snarled, “Just the Guild that’ll go after every Lapis Lazuli within the city limits!”

Lapis felt a shudder go down her spine at the mention of the Guild (it's full name was Gem Hunt Guild). She encountered them twice in the last ten years or so, both times left her feeling utterly used and dirty. About 50-60 years ago, they started out as a pseudo Crystal Gems fan club, nerds who played too much D&D and just wanted to help report sightings of any Gems that fit a description of the Crystal Gems’ target. It was a pretty well organized group during the time and actually investigated cases for the Diamonds. 

As all things go, someone in Washington thought it waa a good idea to give this independent group actual power. They signed bills to allow this group to seize Gems if they were doing unlawful acts. And the Diamonds, wanting no quarrel with the humans, accepted the terms. 

Some Gems were openly against those laws, finding humans interfering with their own rules an overstep. The Crystal Gems were forced to work twice as hard to quickly close any case involving violent, corrupted Gems. Only problem was...the Guild grew in political power and had nearly 100 thousand members world wide. With more power they became a military branch, training humans to fight Gems. All it took was one shattering to cause the entire project to create an unnecessary rift between Gems and humans. 

So far nothing has happened to the Guild. 

...well, nothing anyone was going to announce publicly to the world.

The man who caused the incident that lead to the shattering was rumored to still be trapped in a bubble. Lapis believed White Diamond liked to stare at it once in a while. 

But Lapis never was a fan of politics, and stayed as far away from Guild members as possible, but even she knew what it meant for Gemkind if Malachite wasn’t dealt with.

“I understand.” the water Gem agreed sullenly, “The Crystal Gems had her on the run last I saw her. She could be anywhere by now to be honest.”

“Great…” Peridot sighed heavily. She pinched the bridge of her nose, “I’ll just give Sadie a call and tell her Lars left the building and-no….no no no no what the Hell?!”

The human was overtaken by a panic as she scrambled for her keyboard and mouse. The footage on the screen began to fizzle out until there was nothing more than static. 

Lapis left Peridot to figure out what was happening to her screen, wheels turning in her head. Malachite needed to be stopped, but how much time did she have to do that? The Crystal Gems would contain the Jasper and Lapis Lazuli fusion no doubt, but how many more people would die between now and then?

As of now, there was nothing Lapis could do. Her body was still recovering from the shock of having her arm completely bitten of, so, instead of thinking anymore about it, Lapis curled back onto the bed and resumed her episode of Camp Pining Hearts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can clearly see Peridot has anger issues. 
> 
> Sorry for posting so late. I recently moved amd I'm trying to take in the fact I have my own apartment. It's pretty overwhelming...that and I've been in a funk (won't bore you with details). Then my beta, and hardass friend, Bowow0708, demanded I post the chapter because he deemed it finished and I said fine. So...there.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot meets awesome Jasper and she already hates her.

Peridot finally retired for the day, exhausted and unable to see straight. She walked over to her bed, but she forgotten it was occupied. 

Lapis had fallen asleep somewhere through season one. She looked so peaceful that Peridot started to grow jealous at how at ease she was despite the day she experienced. Peridot didn't disturb the Gem. Instead she plucked the dvd player from Lapis' hands, closed it and tossed it to the floor before slipping some of the blanket from her grip. She set her glasses on the nightstand, crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to her chest.

The Gem rolled over then, taking the covers with her and leaving a bare scrap for Peridot. She seemed to be snoring even louder...right in Peridot's ear.

_Oh you have got to be kidding me._ She thought disgruntled.

Sleep never came easy for her, but what malevolent deity did she piss off to deserve this?

It didn't help that her thoughts were still on the other Lapis Lazuli and the security footage. Someone had corrupted the file Peridot was looking at and no amount of searching turned them up again. No footage of Lars looking out the window and no flying Gem luring him out existed and that annoyed her to no end. Still, she had to make the call to Sadie - only telling her she saw Lars leaving the building and never coming back. Let the police handle the case if the poor woman decided to file a report. Hopefully they would catch the person who messed with the footage as well.

_And if I know my mother, she'd blame me for that, too, I bet._ Peridot thought.

Her day was crap, she felt like crap and she didn't make anything better by snapping at Lapis. It wasn't right of her to take her anger out on the Gem. So what if the Gem that killed Lars was just another Lapis Lazuli and said Lazuli was part of a man-eating corrupted fusion? That was none of Lapis’ fault. And she did try to stop the fusion. The only problem Peridot saw was in fact the politicians were going to use this incident as the spark that blows up the powder keg.

She could already see the Anti-Gem Front signs, protests, violent outbursts on Gem and Human kind-

_Stop thinking and go to bed._ The woman needed to shut her eyes, get a good night's rest and figure out what to do about the information she had. She needed to stop worrying about events that haven't happened yet.

Sighing, Peridot rolled over, hoping to get some shut eye, but then she felt an arm drape casually across her stomach.

_Oh joy..._ Peridot thought. She didn't hate the contact, but she wasn't about to let the Gem make her, her personal teddy bear either.

When she tried scooting away, Lapis pulled her even closer, making the blonde wonder if the Gem really was asleep. Sure, Lapis was _incredibly_ attractive for an alien and was soft and warm, and they shared a love for the greatest TV show of all time, and Peridot could see herself just talking to the Gem for hours, but all of that was overshadowed by the fact her scars were becoming unbearably itchy with Lapis pressing close against her back. But, instead of shoving Lapis in the space between her bed and the wall, Peridot managed to relax enough in Lapis’ arm to not care about them. She shut her eyes, trying to ignore the soft breath against the back of her neck and the scent of the ocean.

It didn't occur to Peridot until after she was comfortable that she could have just slept on the couch.

* * *

The programmer ended up sleeping through the morning and well into the afternoon. When she woke, she felt stiff and hungry, but she dragged herself out of bed, tired bones and all, and walked unsteadily to the bathroom.

The first thing Peridot noticed when she came out, freshly showered feeling that much better, Lapis was gone - Mot like Peridot expected the Gem to stay with her forever. Eventually Lapis had to leave to fight Malachite, save the human race and all that. That knowledge did not make Peridot feel any better. In fact, it left her feeling surprisingly lonely...even if she knew Lapis for a day, the programmer gotten quite attached to having someone other than Pumpkin to hold conversations with.

Her stomach growled like an angry bear.

“Food.” Peridot declared heading to the kitchen.

She dumped a scoop of kibble into Pumpkin’s food bowl and opened the fridge and pulled out a container of leftover Chinese food. Even soggy noodles was a feast when your stomach was empty. But when Peridot opened the microwave to heat her leftovers she found a bowl of oatmeal with a side of bacon. Both were cool, but looked more appetizing than what she was about to eat. Now that she thought about it the apartment did smell faintly of bacon. And a pan was sitting on the stove, clean but warm to the touch. That made her smile a little. No one cooked her breakfast since high school.

She took the bowl of oatmeal out first to warm the bacon, then switched them so that she could eat the bacon first. As Peridot nibbled on the slice, she noticed Pumpkin had yet to come out of her hiding spot for her food.

_Where the hell is that pup_? Pumpkin would have run to her bowl after Peridot put food in it. If there was one thing that dog loved more than the beach, it was food.

To answer her question, the door opened and the corgi came running in yipping and jumping against Peridot’s leg. She laughed and bent down to pick her up. The dog bit at the remains of Peridot's bacon in her hand and gobbled it up before Peridot could stop her.

And when Pumpkin began licking her fingers clean, Peridot began to laugh, “Stop that, you monster. Where were you?”

“She needed to go out and I didn’t want to wake you.” Lapis answered for Pumpkin, “Found breakfast I see.”

“Yeah, thank- who is that?” Peridot asked. She adjusted her glasses to make sure she was seeing the hulking giant behind Lapis. Well, she was under 5’ 5” feet so everyone was a giant to her, but this woman (no, a Gem, her skin was a mix of red and orange with a gem for a nose) had to be close to 7 feet. _She has a lion’s mane instead of hair._

“This is Jasper.” Lapis said. She waved a hand vaguely in her companion's direction, “She followed me home. May I keep her?”

Of course, because Peridot didn't have enough to deal with just now. She set her jaw and glowered.

“Absolutely not.” Peridot said. She put the dog down. Pumpkin bound off to her bowl to eat, “I don't need anymore trouble especially from someone who looks like she can literally bite my head off if she wants to.”

Jasper gave a throaty chuckle and patted Lapis heavily on her shoulder, “You didn't tell me she was such a firecracker.”

“A tiny firecracker.”

Peridot growled at her.

“With a bit of a temper.” Lapis warned with a twist of her lip. She out the leash down on the coffee table and moved a few papers off a chair so she could sit at the kitchen island, “Jasper’s my friend, Peridot. She was only worried about me and wanted to make sure I was being taken care of.”

Peridot wanted to laugh at that.

“More like you're taking care of me. You made me breakfast and walked my dog. The only thing we’re missing is the U-haul truck and having sex and we’ll be married.” Peridot said. Her voice was deadpan as if the situation wasn't bothering her, but inside she wanted to scream at the stupidity leaving her mouth.

Jasper laughed loud and long while Lapis sputtered indignantly, “So _when_ did you get married? Yesterday?”

“S-shut up!” Lapis demanded. She made a fist and made to punch the older Gem, but Jasper easily sidestepped the incoming blow with a grace surprising for a big Gem.

She ruffled Lapis’ hair, “Maybe next time, Water Witch.”

Lapis pouted and shoved Jasper's hand away, but Peridot couldn't help but notice the way Lapis’ fingers lingered around Jasper's wrist. Or the way Jasper smiled as Lapis tried to push her.

Their friendship was none of her concern, but what if…

_...what if they're more than friends?_ Peridot thought. Then again, it wasn't like she had a snowball's chance in Hell with Lapis, so why bother to entertain the idea?

Her current thoughts turned to Jasper when she plopped her giant red and orange Gem ass on the chair beside Lapis, crushing the papers on them. She didn't even seem to notice.

Peridot felt a vein bulge on her forehead. _Have you ever looked before you sat, you cow?_

Oblivious to the death glares Peridot were giving her, Jasper finally asked, “So tell me, Peridot, what do you plan on doing about that coworker of yours?”

Oh. So Lapis told Jasper. Somehow Peridot wasn't terribly surprised by that.

“The dead one?” Peridot said and Lapis flinched at the harsh dismissal, “Not my problem. That’s a Gem and Guild issue the way I see it.”

Jasper’s friendly demeanor changed instantly at the mention of the Guild. Peridot thought she glimpsed fear behind her hard stare, “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

“Do you hear me laughing?” Peridot asked with a shrug of her shoulder. After warming her breakfast up she sat at the counter across from Lapis, “I’m not running after any man eating Gems in the ocean and, nope, not hearing it Lazuli, you're crazy if you think those Gem hating jerkwads _won't_ get involved.”

“They won't get involved, if you just give us a hand.” Jasper said.

“How about an arm?” Peridot asked pointedly looking at Lapis, “But I can’t get that back if I lose it.”

The Gem glared at Peridot through narrowed eyes. “You’re not funny.” Lapis said, “All Jasper is asking for is your advice, not for you to jump into the ocean and punch Malachite in the nose. Stop acting like she is.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. She wanted no more part of whatever Lapis and Jasper was getting themselves into. It was bad enough she had to deal with _human_ issues, but Gem problems as well?

No. It was too much, even if Peridot wanted to help.

Peridot rubbed the bridge of her nose.

But she also didn't need to be an ass to Lapis, no matter her feelings about the situation. Her therapist told her, her tendencies to lash out at others needed to be observed and curbed. Lapis did nothing wrong. It was just the situation they were in that was at fault. Plus, the last thing she wanted was to cause a rift between them.

“I told you I’m not a good person, Lazuli. That doesn't excuse my attitude. I have some issues I’m still working out. I’m sorry for being short with you-”

Jasper gave a snort of amusement before saying, “You are pretty short.”

“Coming from the boulder with muscles, that's real funny!” Peridot snapped back. Well there went that control on her temper.

“Boulder with...” Jasper's face suddenly twisted in fury, “…are you callin’ me fat, shorty?”

“No,” Peridot said, “But if the shoe can fit on that foot…”

Jasper was about to jump the table when Lapis’ arms wrapped around the taller Gem's midsection, “Whoa there! Don't punch her, Jasper!”

“I'm not going to punch her!” Jasper snarled, ”I'm just going to make her swallow her teeth!”

“That involves punching!” Lapis exclaimed.

“Not if I use my foot!”

_Bite your tongue and be civil. This is Lapis’ friend. Her best friend, maybe even lover? Be civil._

Peridot raised her hands in surrender, “Look, I'm sorry, but come on! You're not putting me between a rock and a hard place here. You're essentially asking me to stick my neck out for you.”

“No one said that-” Jasper began, but Peridot waved a hand in dismissal.

“Right. Then how do you expect me to help?” Peridot asked pointedly, “In case you haven't noticed I’m a human. Squishy. I can't recover from a missing limb by taking life force. I can die just from falling down a flight of stairs or, you know, _drowning_.” She spat the word out like a curse, “And you think I should help you hunt down a man-eating Gem that can swim?”

Lapis and Jasper fell silent, exchanging a look between them. It was plain they were silently communicating and that irritated Peridot more than she cared to admit, but she waited.

“You're right.” Lapis spoke first, “I don't know what I was thinking.” she looked down at the counter.

“It was a long shot in the dark.” Jasper admitted, “Lapis kept mentioning how smart you were and that you could help us come up with a plan. Corrupted by nature aren't smart like normal Gems, but Malachite is different. She's smart enough to pick targets, go into hiding and wait. _This one_.” Jasper jabbed a thumb in Lapis’ direction, “Thought you'd help us outsmart her.’

_Oh..._ Peridot hadn't even begun eating her oatmeal, but her stomach felt queasy and she wasn't hungry anymore _. She actually thinks I'm smart._

“I can't really be of help once the Anti-Gem Front show up. This is a very serious matter that will have both sides at each other's throats, so even plain ol’ me will need to keep my head down. Can't do that if I'm constantly running around with you to hunt down Malachite.” Peridot stated - matter of fact. She took one long look at the crestfallen face of the blue Gem and felt her heart ache. Even if she couldn't aid their search, there was something she could do, “Look, if you want, you are more than welcome to stay for as long as you’d like until you get things sorted out about Malachite.”

That brought on a smile, “I don't want to impose.”

“You wouldn't be. I eventually have to go job hunting and I could save some money if you watched Pumpkin for me while I’m out.” Peridot said. She was exasperated by the prospect of trying to find work not in her field, but any work meant money to put towards paying her mother back.

“Can I keep watching CPH?” Lapis suddenly asked.

Jasper gave a loud snort of disapproval, “Why am I not surprised. You shouldn't be watching shit shows all the time, Lapis.”

“It's an awesome show!” Peridot and Lapis both shouted at the taller Gem.

Jasper blinked back in surprise, “Hmm...okay then, rot your brain out. I'm gonna search for Malachite.” Jasper waved a hand over her shoulder before existing the apartment.

“Not going with her?” Peridot asked when the door shut.

“Actually…” Lapis rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, “She doesn't want me near Malachite. We both can control water, so I wouldn't be much help...”

The programmer gave a short chuckle and adjusted her glasses on her nose, “I doubt that's the only reason.”

“What else could it be?” Lapis asked.

_The lack of self awareness is high here._ Peridot thought as she reached over the table and poked Lapis in her arm, “Might have to do with almost dying?”

“Oh no, one life threatening situation has crippled my ability to defend myself!” Lapis replied dramatically, “Someone, quick, call that scrawny human with the weird shaped hair and dorky glasses! Her one and only savior!”

Both human and Gem shared a look before they both burst out laughing. Peridot thought it was pretty morbid she was laughing at Lapis' past misfortune, but it felt nice being able to after everything that happened. And being able to laugh with another living being that was genuine made Peridot feel...nice.

“This is so stupid, I could have died.” Lapis said between breath, “We shouldn't be laughing about this.”

Peridot chuckled and raised her hand to give Lapis a reassuring pat on the shoulder, “I'm only laughing because you-”

Her words were cut off abruptly when the kettle on the stove went sailing across the room and smacked Peridot in the side of her head. Lapis moved to catch her, but she was already on the ground with her eyes full of stars.

Peridot didn't remember blacking out, or waking up, but when she came to her head was in Lapis’ lap and the Gem was looking down at her, “Oh thank the Diamonds, I thought you died.”

Peridot rubbed her forehead, “I'm not _that_ squishy. Wanna tell me why I just got hit by my kettle, Lapis?”

Lapis chewed her lower lip, “Okay, don't panic-”

Really? Don't panic was the answer here?

“No one ever has anything good to say after “don't panic”. Why would I be panicking in the first place? Are my cells degenerating? Am I going to go bald? Is my DNA unraveling as we speak?!”

“No,” Lapis said. She gave Peridot a quizzical look, “Your Ferrorkenisis is...still around, that might mean you're actually dying. Humans aren't supposed to maintain their powers for more than a few hours…”

Peridot sat up, “Oh that's just perfect.” She raised her hand to the kettle that was laying on its side, trying to will it to move.

Nothing happened.

“Oh come on!” Peridot groaned in frustration, burying her face in her hands, “How do I turn this on?”

“I don't know. I have to ask Blue Diamond about this. This is pretty serious.” Lapis said, “Guess I'll be sticking around to make sure you don't die.”

Peridot pinned the Gem with a look before letting her shoulder slump and felt her anger leave her. Having Lapis around now was more vital than she needed it to be, but what else could she do?

“I guess so…”

Lapis threw her arm over Peridot's shoulder and pulled her close and said, “Look on the bright side! If you can't find a job soon, you can join the circus and be the Amazingly Short Metal Bender!”

To which Peridot replied with as much sarcasm as she could muster, “Wow, thanks! I would have never thought of that myself!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I no longer have a clue what I'm doing with this story. My Google drive looks like a conspiracy theorist broke into it and started putting up string and sticky notes everywhere. 
> 
> Next chapter is going to be another Peri chapter, sorry
> 
> Also chapter 7 image in story summary, too lazy to link atm. I'll update the story eventually to put all the images in chapters, but I ain't tryin to get a aneurysm trying to figure that out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you put four Peridot's in a room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fair warning, there is a bit of dialogue because this is an expositional chapter, which is why it's a bit longer than most of my chapters. Sorry.

Peridot stepped out of her car, eyeing the building in front of her with mounting suspicion.

It was an observatory, large and round with the Great Diamond Authority flag flying on a standard at the very top of the roof. This was where several of Yellow Diamond's research was conducted, Lapis said, and that no human was able to get inside, save those invited in.

“Good luck.” Was all the advice Lapis had to offer.

It had taken a little over three hours to get to this location atop the steep hill, and it would be a shame if she was turned away at the door. The blonde woman sighed tiredly as she shut her car door and walked up the last few feet to the metal entrance - noting no handles or windows on it. As a matter of fact, there were no windows on the building at all.

“Lazuli better be right about this.” Peridot muttered to herself before she pounded on the door.

At her third knock the door seemed to dissolve under her fist and a tall, lanky Gem looked down at her through black eyes and a scowl, “What the hell do you want?”

 _Some greeting..._ Peridot thought, “I was told a bunch of Peridots live here. I have a question or two to ask-”

“No Gem here has time for your inquiries.” The red Gem sneered, “Why don't you go bother someone else?”

“Well, if you can explain why I have powers, I'll gladly leave,” Peridot snapped back, “If not, then get out of my way.”

The red Gem eyed her suspiciously, “Powers you say?”

“Yeah.” Peridot said, “I kinda need some answers on this.”

The Gem looked her up and down, as if she was taking her measure before saying, “Alright then.” She stood aside, “Come in then. Stay right there and don't touch anything.”

Peridot entered and the door appeared again, sealing her inside.

“I'll go bring them.” the red Gem said before disappearing behind a door.

Peridot half expected the place to be dark, but there were a million lights shining down from the high ceiling, showing off a treasure trove of technology she could never dream of. On one side of the room there were rows and rows of holographic screens showing galaxies far away and planets Peridot never seen or heard of, and brightly colored consoles. On the other were tubes containing splintered Gems, artificial limbs, on rows of tables were tools Peridot never seen before. There were a dozen doors along the walls leading God knows where and without realizing it, Peridot wandered over to a corner where a squarish robot that stood 20 feet tall.

Almost with a childlike wonder, Peridot approached cautiously, her heart hammering in her chest with excitement, “How did they manage this?”

Even humans couldn't build such large machines. Were they functional? It even looked like someone could go inside.

Just as Peridot raised her hands to touch it, a door off to her left opened suddenly and the red Gem returned. She eyed Peridot with ill-conceived disgust, and motioned for her to follow, “They'll see you. Try not to annoy them as much as you're annoying me right now. They aren't fond of humans.”

Peridot returned the look with a scowl of her own, but followed the Gem down a long corridor. All the joy she felt in the other room died while being in the Gem's company, “I'm sure they'll still have better manners than you, but we'll see.”

The red Gem stopped abruptly and pressed her hand against the wall. It glowed a bright red and another door opened, “Yeah, I'm sure they will.”

Then she pushed Peridot through the door and closed it behind her. Peridot glared at the metal, wondering if she could use her powers to break it in half and hit the Gem with it. Part of her wanted just abandon the entire endeavor, but any plans to leave were short lived when a tap on her shoulder made her jump and whirl around, hands raised in a defensive position.

“Don't touch me!” Peridot shouted, eyes burning holes into the tall, green Gem in front of her.

Peridot had seen Peridots before - on TV, but never expected her to be so tall…

“You're the human Jasper said had powers?” The Gem asked. The gem on her right shoulder gleamed in the light when she turned around, “Come. If what you say is true we don't have much time.”

Peridot had to walk fast just to keep up with the Gem's long strides, “What do you mean?”

“We'll find out after we are sure you _do_ have powers.” The Peridot said. She looked so lost in thought that Peridot wasn't even sure if she was speaking to her, “For now, we'll need you to strip.”

That made Peridot stop dead in her tracks, a look of disbelief on her face, “Excuse me?”

The Peridot stopped with her and looked over her shoulder, “Strip. Now, rather than later. We need to begin conducting the experiments.”

“Experiments?!” Peridot shrilled, “What the hell do you mean by-”

“And take off your shoes!” The Peridot snapped suddenly, “You're trekking dirt everywhere!”

 _Holy stars, I don't believe this!_ Peridot knelt to undo the laces of her shoes and threw them somewhere to her right, “There, happy?”

“I will be once you take the rest off.” She said. Then, before Peridot could protest, a white gown came sailing from nowhere and smacked into her face.

“Hurry up!” Came a second voice, “We don't have time to wait around for you to stop being embarrassed!”

Peridot let out a long suffering sigh. _This couldn't possibly get any worse_.

* * *

 

And like all things in her life, somehow it did.

Sitting on an examination table wearing a thin, white hospital gown, Peridot watched with disbelief as three Gems with her namesake talked to each other in harsh whisper. They gave her a sideways glance from time to time, but said nothing directly to her. They were all carbon copies of each other, same tinted green skin and pyramid styled hair (making Peridot feel a bit self conscious about her own hair style), and wore limb enhancers. Those strange attachments to their arms and legs that made them taller than they were. Their gems were on different parts of their bodies however. One had a gem on her upper right shoulder, the other had hers on her left and the third had one on her collarbone.

All three just finished going through their findings after each took blood samples from Peridot. The one with the gem on her collarbone did the least amount of tests (getting shoving her into a pod chamber and doing scans were pretty tame in comparison to the other's testing). They tried throwing objects at her to get her powers to activate, but she couldn't. Not even when one Peridot strapped her to a table and dropped a car on her. The only reason why she wasn't squashed was because the other two Peridots stopped her in time.

Now here she was, at the end of their testing, waiting to hear their verdict.

They continued their whispering until the one with the Gem on her right shoulder raised he voice and shouted, “We are _not_ dissecting her, Facet 9!”

“It was F4’s idea, not mine!” snapped the Peridot with the gem on her left shoulder.

“I just think a human that can manipulate metal needs to be studied more...thoroughly.” The one with the gem on her chest said hauntingly, “For the good of all Gemkind.”

“What does Gemkind have to do with this? Yellow Diamond doesn't care about these humans and neither should we! F6, please knock some sense into F4!”

“I have to agree with F9 here. We can't dissect the human.”

“The human doesn't want to be dissected, either, thank you very much!” Peridot said.

Facet 4 didn't even look in her direction, “You're lucky we're taking our time to help you at all, so be grateful and shut up.”

Peridot felt her eye twitch at the rudeness, but bit her tongue to keep from snapping back.

Upon Lapis’ insistence, and lack of any other ideas because Blue Diamond was of no help on the subject matter, Peridot paid a visit to the observatory where Yellow Diamond's technological savvy Gems resided. Peridots were smart, she wasn't going to deny that, but holy stars did they love to bicker.

“Can one of you just tell me what's wrong with me?” Peridot demanded, “Am I dying?”

“All you humans are dying, you just don't know when.” F9 said.

“Which is astonishing. You can predict weather, but not your own demise.” F4 taunted.

Peridot rolled her eyes, “Yep, because those two are the same extremes.”

“Aren't you a ray of sunshine.” F4 said with a sarcasm so strong Peridot could practically see it, “I wouldn't be so snarky if I were you, considering how dire your situation is.”

That put Peridot into a panic, “So I am dying!”

“For the love of-” F4 facepalmed, “No, you're not! Stars, are _all_ humans this annoying?”

“No more annoying than you.” Peridot grumbled.

F9 sighed, “What my fellow Peridot is failing to mention is that you are dying faster than most of your species. That's all. You said you recently gave life force to a Gem?”

“Um...yeah.”

“Well,” Facet 4 opened her finger screens and looked over the data she collected from the exam, “That explains everything.” Her voice was drawled and full sarcasm.

“The good news is you body's chemical structure is adjusting to your powers. Bad news is you shouldn't be changing to accommodate them at all.” F6 said, “As a matter of fact, this magnitude of change should be putting your body under a lot more stress and you should have had a heart attack by now. A few actually.”

Peridot's face paled. This was far more serious than Lapis led her to believe, “Why haven't I yet?”

F6 enlarged her finger screens that showed a diagram of Peridot's body. Blood vessels were red, vital organs red, her bones white as snow. The odd color that stood out was the cluster of green flecks inside her heart and spots of green going through her bloodstream.

“This might come to a surprise to you, but most, well at least 80% of the human population house gem shards in their body.” F9 trailed a detached finger along Peridot's blood vessel, “This was an evolutionary process due to our kind intermingling with yours. They are non-sentient fragments of course, and work like reactors.”

F4 gave a snort, “I highly doubt this human even has a clue what you're talking about. It's like trying to explain space travel to a monkey: pointless and a waste of our time.”

“Just simplify it for me then!”

“You can't just simplify science-”

“Either you simplify it or let me go home!” Peridot finally raised her voice, “I don't have time to waste on you clods!”

All three Gems blinked at her in astonishment.

“Did you-”

“-just call-”

“-us clods?”

All the spoke as one, looking incredulous and insulted all at once.

“The nerve!” F4 snarled down at her, “We wasted our valuable time trying to help.” She flung a tablet on Peridot's lap, “If I were you I'd go find a tree and apologize to it for wasting the oxygen it produced for you.”

Peridot scowled at them. She didn't even bother picking the tablet up, let alone look at it, “You know what's wrong with me and you can't even answer a simple question.”

“Because it's not a simple answer.” F6 said, “But while F4 was sinking down to your level, I did find a way of explaining this all to you.”

F4 crossed her arms across her chest, “And you're just going to tell her?”

“On the condition she keeps her mouth shut and let me explain…”

Peridot chewed on the idea in her mind, then nodded. She needed to know this, even if it was bad news in the end, “Deal.”

F6  smiled encouragingly, “Good. Now then, those shards are what allow us to draw out your life force in dire situations, and protects you from us killing you in the process. When your life force is taken, these fragments react and produce a chemical that changes your DNA, allowing you access to powers you wouldn't otherwise be privy to.”

“However, they work on a strict timetable. After the threat is gone, the shards start to cool down, and during that time they begin to rewrite your DNA back to how it was before, thus leaving you powerless. The whole process takes roughly 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, your cells and DNA become permanently damaged after this, which is why your life spans get cut whenever a Gem takes your life force.”

Peridot looked up from the tablet to the bigger one made from F6's hands, “So why haven't my powers gone away?”

“Here.” F9 circled Peridot's heart where the green cluster was, “As you can see, you have an unnaturally large cluster of shards in this area that is keeping the other shards from writing your DNA back to normal. Quite frankly, you humans _shouldn't_ even have fragments here, but you do.”

“But I’ve had physical exams before, x-rays done, MRIs. How come no one said “hey you got a bunch of gems in your heart, we should get rid of those”?”

“As if their primitive technology could even find these in your body.” F4 snorted, “Besides, even if they could, these shards aren't swimming in your veins. We can't draw them out with a needle or cut them out like a tumor. They are a completely integrated in your cellular structure, making them a part of you.”

“...and you never told anyone this?” Peridot couldn't believe Gems were sitting on a treasure trove of information and haven't told a soul. Were humans just tools for them?

Of course they were.

Why else would humans evolve to essentially become bandaids for Gems whenever one stubbed a toe?

The three Gems exchanged a look before F6 said, “ These shards are otherwise useless without a Gem to begin with. They'd have no value to you, so there is no point in revealing this to you.”

Peridot said, “But why aren't there any public records of humans with powers anywhere? You can't keep something that big from the entire human population. Not with the internet around!”

“Oh, not everyone who has these gem fragments gain powers.” F6 closed her finger screens, “And if we find someone who can get them, we are under direct orders to kill them.”

The look that crossed Peridot's face was a mixture of fear and pure horror at the news, “K-kill?”

“I get this is all a lot to take in, for a human.” F9 folded her arms across her chest, “But for us your concern over these shards in your body is irrelevant to ours.”

“The only real question here is why the Gem who took your life force didn't kill you when she had to.” F4 eyed Peridot with a look dripping contempt.

That sentence hung in the air between the four of them. Peridot could have sworn Gems had a no kill human policy, but her brain was still trying to process the bombshell dropped on her. Lapis should have killed her? Nowhere in their encounter together, to all that time spent together, Lapis made no attempt on her life. Making it harder perhaps, but ending it?

Peridot wouldn't believe Lapis wanted to do such a thing.

F9 walked over to a long table and brought up a screen. Thousands of faces of every race, age, and gender appeared across it, “These are the people we had to eliminate to keep the truth from being known. Are we going to have to add you to this list because that would be a shame, really.”

The way the Peridots looked at her, reminded the blonde of a pack of wolves contemplating a lost sheep. There was no use trying to fight them, that much was plain, “...what do you want from me?”

F4 stared hard at her through narrowed eyes, “Your birth mother named you Peridot, correct? Do not sully our name by playing dumb. Keep this to yourself and we won't have any Gem bring your head back to Yellow Diamond.”

“We also will keep this from our Diamond, so long as you return here every week and allow us to...monitor any changes.” F6 was beaming with excitement at the idea, “You are quite the rare find and we must record this.”

Did Peridot even have a choice? The three Gems stared at her, each wearing a different expression on her face, “Y-yeah. I agree to all that, but...no dissecting.” _Only until I can control my power, then I won't ever see you clods ever again._

“Of course not! Why ruin a perfectly good specimen with death?” F9 chuckled, “Well, let's get started!”

Peridot must have looked like an idiot to the Gems, with her eyes wide and confusion written all over her face, “Start with what? Don't you have everything you need now?”

“What we need is your body's stress levels.” F9 stated, “If we conduct any further tests, we need to know your body's limits _before_ we do them. We don't want to accidentally kill you.”

“Dropping a car on me wasn't enough?!” Peridot exclaimed.

“Your heart did stop for half a second,” F6 said with a smile, “We recorded that, but we need more data.”

“I concur. We need to build you in our logs from the ground up.” F9 added.

“That shouldn't take long, considering how tall she is.” F4 chuckled, “Shall we begin?”

Peridot paled. _These Gems are going to murder me._

* * *

Peridot made it home alive, somehow. The Gems were just as evil as Peridot thought they were and, on more than one occasion, she thought they were actually trying to kill her. The worst experiment was the underwater chamber they threw her in even after she protested. Peridot shivered, remembering how she could see the dark, cold depths surrounding her on all sides through the clear glass. It might have been a trick of light, but she swore she saw something down there moving. Which might have been why her heart rate spiked to dangerous levels, and they had to call the experiment off early. According to them, her heart was going to give on her, so instead of pushing for more tests, they drew some blood and let her return home.

Peridot had to go back next week so they could help her practice using her ability. So they said. She was convinced they were going to drop more things on her.

Inside the apartment, Lapis was nowhere in sight, but Pumpkin was gone as well. The little pup seemed to have taken a liking to Lapis, so it wasn't terribly surprising they were off on a walk. The blonde took advantage of the empty space and stripped out of her outside clothes, throwing it all in the hamper beside the bathroom door. She turned on the water to a relaxing temperature before stepping into the shower.

“This is amazing.” She said to no one. Peridot could practically feel the stress of the day running down her skin and swirling down the drain with her body wash. There was no reason for her to dwell on the very grim reality that she was forever going to be a pet project or that Lapis was to blame.

 _My life isn't even of consequence. As long as Lapis can call 9-1-1 when I have a stroke, it'll be fine._ Peridot turned the water off and pulled the curtains back. _And besides, having her around won't be so bad._

Then the bathroom door opened.

“Hey, Peridot, how'd it go with the...the…” Lapis’ voice trailed off as her mouth hung open and her cheeks immediately turned a dark shade of blue.

Peridot stood there, frozen and all she could say was, “Uhhhhh…” and watched as Lapis’ eyes roamed down her body without the slightest hint of shame.

Suddenly, Peridot was feeling _very_ self conscious. There was a tiny scar along her rib cage, but it was old and pale against her even paler skin. It was hardly noticeable, but Peridot knew Lapis could see it. The Gem was eyeing her up in down, judging her - Peridot could see that much. She wasn't fit, but she wasn't chubby either, and her chest was average at best. She hadn't even shaved down there for a while and Lapis was staring at her through lidded eyes, and it was making Periot wish she had.

Then a noise came from the back of the Gem's throat, like a strangled groan that snapped Peridot right out of her stupor.

“LAPIS, GET OUT!” Peridot shouted as she hopped back in the shower, drawing the curtain so hard the rings almost came off.

Lapis finally realized what she was doing, and Peridot caught a glimpse of her rubbing her mouth with the back of her hand, “I'm so sorry!”

The door slammed shut, but Peridot remained safe behind the curtain, clenching the shower liner so hard her knuckles turned white. _Okay, calm down, Peridot. It'll be fine. So maybe living with Lapis is something to get used to. She saw you naked, big whoop! The worst of the worst is over and done with. Short of seeing your porn history, what's the worst that can happen now?_

Until the worst happened, Peridot would have to teach Lapis about the common courtesy of knocking before entering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this was a lot of information to absorb, I know. If there are any questions you need asking about the vauge science behind all this, feel free to ask.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't kinkshame me" is the exact opposite of what Lapis does to Peridot.

Lapis loved to sleep.

Gems didn't need it; some couldn't even do it.

Lapis could.

When she traveled the world, she’d find a tree to rest in, a hammock of vines to crawl into and close her eyes with her wings wrapped protectively around her gem. On some nights she would camp under the stars in an open field, letting nature surround her and lull her to sleep. She no longer had to be outside now that she was living with a human (one especially hell bent on making her stay an extensive one and she wasn't too annoyed about that).

Her favorite thing to do after sleeping was waking up. It was like meeting a new day every time she closed her eyes and opened them again. There were times when Lapis spent months without sleeping and every day would blend together into an endless stream until she couldn't tell what day of the week it was. It was different, now, being able to wake up on a soft cushion, being greeted by the rays of first light.

The best part after waking up in the morning was getting to wake up Peridot. There was no limit to what the human would do when woken up, because, unlike Lapis, she positively despised being woken up for whatever reason.

“Peridot!” Lapis shouted. She was at the foot of Peridot's bed and was beginning to tug the blankets off her, “You're going to be late. Again!”

She gave the covers a hard yank and revealed the human beneath.

Peridot never wore clothes to bed. It was a fact Lapis discovered by happenstance when she had the fortune of walking in on her getting out of bed. She was given an eyeful of the human's modest sized chest, slim waist and luscious thighs. If the Gem had any regrets in her thousands of years of living it was never discovering the female form earlier. They were beautiful to look at and Lapis really enjoyed the view.

Unfortunately, Peridot was doing all she could to rob Lapis of said view now.

The human grumbled something inaudible and tried to grab for the bedsheets, “G’way.”

“Up, human!” Lapis commanded. She had the blankets prison in her hands so Peridot couldn't cover herself with them, “You told me to wake you up no matter what! Even if you spent all night playing WoW! Honestly, how do you spend twelve hours sitting at your computer playing that stupid game?”

“For the Horde.” Peridot proclaimed in a thin, tired voice. She lifted a fist into the air only to have it drop weakly at her side.

Staring at her with half-lidded eyes, Lapis roamed over Peridot’s body and a wicked idea came to her mind. Lapis grabbed Peridot’s knee and pried it from the other to flip the human on her back. The sudden motion startled Peridot and she released cry of annoyance. That quickly turned to a moan when Lapis stretched out on the bed dragged Peridot’s lower body towards her and covered her sex with her mouth. Peridot didn't even get the chance to protest - Lapis made sure of that as her tongue darted out to slowly lick up her slit.

It was far too easy for Peridot to get worked up in the morning. Four long strokes of her tongue and the human was dripping wet, thighs shaking to contain the pleasure she was feeling and was making the cutest, pathetic sounds Lapis ever heard. Lapis learned early on how the human liked to be touched, and what was the quickest way to push her over the edge and when to leave her hanging on the precept. It was a game for Lapis, in her mind anyways, to see how long Peridot could last while she fucked her slowly with her tongue.

“L-Lapis!” Peridot breathed out, hands coming up to tangle in the Gem’s hair. She pulled roughly when Lapis scraped her teeth against the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Lapis didn't enjoy hair pulling - unlike Peridot. She would bite her if she did it again.

When Lapis felt the fingers in her hair loosen their grip, she rewarded her by shoving two fingers inside her - no warning because the sharp intake of breath and strangled moan that followed was worth it. She thrust in and out of the human, fingers parting just slightly and curling upwards on each thrust. Her pace was mercilessly slow, and Lapis only hummed against Peridot’s cunt when the blonde begged her to fuck her harder.

I _'m going to enjoy every second of this_. Lapis thought as she twisted her fingers at the same instance she sucked Peridot’s throbbing clit.

She could feel Peridot close to an orgasm. Her walls fluttered around her fingers every so often whenever she hit that rough patch of flesh deep inside her. Peridot’s moans, mingled with the scent of her arousal put Lapis in a rather cruel mood. Just as she felt the beginnings of Peridot’s release, the Gem pulled out her fingers entirely earning her a groan of dismay.

“Please!” Peridot sobbed, thighs rubbing together for any sort of friction, to ease the burning ache between them. She was crying, “Lapis, please. I need…I need…”

“Yes?” Lapis prompted before she brought her soaked fingers to her mouth and licked them clean. Her eyes stayed locked on Peridot’s own green orbs, so filled with a desperate need it was too adorable for words.

“I need-BARK!”

Lapis’ eyebrows shot up, “What?” _Did she just-_

BARK!

Lapis yelped in surprise as heavy weight suddenly jumped on her, startling her awake, “Wha-!”

Her hand flew to her chest as it heaved wildly, eyes wide open. She pushed sweat from her face and into her hair as she ran her fingers through it. The Gem quickly surveyed her surroundings until her eyes fell on Pumpkin.

She scowled down at her. She never felt so unsure about the best dream she ever had being interrupted by a damn dog. Pumpkin, on the other hand, looked far too innocent with food bowl in mouth and head tilted to the side. Lapis concluded she didn't know what she was doing waking her up like that and decided the dog would live.

The little dog jumped off the couch and trotted over to the kitchen, where she promptly dropped her bowl and whined noisily.

With a heavy sigh, Lapis flung the covers away and stood up, “I'll feed you, you little monster. Gimme a minute.”

She should just leave the mutt to starve, but Peridot might take that the wrong way. Lapis scooped half a cup of kibble into Pumpkin's bowl, deciding against punishing her. The dog seemed content now that she had her food, but Lapis?

She rubbed her face tiredly. _Stars, if I hadn't walked in on her..._ She couldn't even remember why she walked in the bathroom. All that was forgotten when had Peridot pulled back the curtain to step out the shower.  

Lapis tried blocking the memory from her mind, tried forgetting, but the image was forever burned in mind.

She could still see the beads of water dripping down a modest chest. Her hair, usually spiked in three directions, was sleek from the water and the ends hung over her shoulders. The look of mixed horror and discomfort was in Peridot's eyes once she realized she was no longer alone. Bright, green eyes that were no longer obscured by her glasses were practically sparkling from the embarrassment. And her eyes weren't the only things Lapis stared at. She may have only caught a glimpse of the neatly trimmed patch of blonde between Peridot's thighs, but a glimpse was all she needed to start imagining what she could do to her.

It was disappointing when the human retreated back into the shower, robbing Lapis of the view she was so very much enjoying. It was a crying shame, really.

Still, that small glimpse of the human naked was enough for her dreams to cause her restless nights and even moreso, it was starting to affect how she spoke to Peridot.

 _Does she even likes me?_  Lapis wondered, remembering yesterday how Peridot asked her for a glass of water. Lapis couldn't resist saying, "I'd like a tall glass of you." Like some uncivilized heathen.

Sure, Peridot stumbled and nearly broke her face on the counter, but she acted as if Lapis didn't say anything afterwards.

Much later after that, Peridot sat her down the next morning to establish “roommate rules” (as Peridot liked to call them). The main focal point of the entire conversation really lead up to a whole “knocking before entering and never going into the bathroom if someone (i.e. Peridot) was using it” speech. Lapis was trying to give her full attention, but her mind was too busy thinking up ways to make Peridot moan.

Stars, it was like she some Era-two Gem with how little control she had over her emotions.

Then again, Lapis couldn't recall a time she _ever_ felt this way about anyone - including other Gems. It was all so exciting.

Once Peridot reached past the point of amusement, Lapis had to cut her off.

“I still don't see what the fuss was about,” Lapis said, knowing full well what the fuss was about, “Gems walk around freely without clothes on all the time! Haven't you seen them?”

The statement made Peridot's face burn a dark red, which gave Lapis the impression she _had_ seen them before, “That's not the point. You can't just walk in on people in the bathroom! It's just common courtesy.”

That wasn't an answer, at least one for Lapis to accept, “There's nothing to be embarrassed about! Look!”

She had undid the string of her top and got it halfway off before Peridot lunged at her. The human's hands were clammy as she held Lapis’ firmly prison to prevent her from taking her top completely off. Her eyes were elsewhere though, and her face was redder than it had been a moment ago, “Nonononono! You don't have to do that!”

“It's only fair.” Lapis had insisted. It was innocent enough, but Peridot had kicked up such a fuss about it Lapis relented and did not strip as she intended.

She was just trying to make Peridot feel better.

….okay, maybe tease her a little bit in the process.

Lapis groaned loudly and rubbed her face, "Stars, help me."

“Morning.” Peridot yawned.

Lapis’ heart was in her throat, not realizing Peridot had walked out her room tired eyed and miserable. For a heartbeat, Lapis thought Peridot could hear her innermost secrets, but she couldn't, so why was she so jumpy?

“Tea?” Peridot offered.

“N-no thanks.” Lapis stammered out.

She shrugged and went about the kitchen to make her morning tea. Lapis sat at the little island and watched - even though she should be making breakfast because Peridot would leave to for an interview or two soon. She was lost in thought, trying to come up with a decent breakfast for the two of them while Peridot was having an internal meltdown.  
  
For days she pondered long and hard about what she learned from the Peridots, unable to keep what they said out of her mind. Sure, Peridot's mind caught a break due to Lapis' teasing and smart remarks, but her thoughts always crept back to something darker. The mere fact that if any other Gem were to gather life force from any other human and said human gained powers and that they would be killed on site terrified her.

Even more so the single question that she was scared to know the answer to: why did Lapis Lazuli let her live?  
  
It was that one question that nearly kept her awake these last few nights, and even now as she waited for her water to boil, her idle thoughts kept repeating the same thing over and over again. The answer could be just as scary as the prospect of any Gem finding out about her powers killing her.  
  
_Argh!_ She had to get some answers. Otherwise she’d go insane, if she wasn’t already. “Hey Lapis…” began Peridot, with her back still to the Gem.  
  
“Hmm?” Lapis responded absently.  
  
“Did...did you know?” asked Peridot, her throat was dry as she forced herself to squeeze out the question.  
  
Lapis’s brows knitted together as she didn’t understand what Peridot was asking of her. “Know what?”  
  
Peridot slowly turned around to face Lapis. She could feel her heart race in her chest. She had to know, she needed to know and she wasn’t going to let her nerves get the better of her now, “Did you know that you’re supposed to kill humans that get powers after you absorb their life force?”  
  
“Huh?” Lapis straightened in her chair, lifting her head from her hand. “Who told you that?” Lapis asked.  
  
“The Peridots at the lab you had me go to.” Peridot replied, her voice shaking. “They told me that every Gem was under orders to kill any human that gets powers after they share their life force with them.” she repeated again, with a bit more force in her tone.  
  
Lapis averted her gaze from Peridot.  
  
_She knows._ Peridot thought, dismayed.  
  
She knew about the order. About everything. But why? If she knew, then why didn’t she kill her when she knew about it?  
  
Peridot’s spiral of thoughts was brought to a sudden halt when Lapis suddenly clapped her hands together with a bright expression on her face. “Oh you mean that order!”

How could she have forgotten White Diamond's stupid kill order.

Seeing Lapis make such an expression caused Peridot’s mind to go blank, staring at the blue Gem, dumbfounded. Lapis was surprised she wasn't yelling at the top of her lungs about this. If any human was to find out they would be justifiably outraged by that information.  
  
“I can't believe I forgot all about that. Yes, we were told to kill any humans, if they get powers.” explained Lapis, “I remember a long time ago we let people run around with them, but…” she trailed off then.

Her face softened and she did not need to go that far back in memory to remember the executions, the sacrifices made to the Diamonds, or watching people burn at the stake. Humans were such ugly things when they wielded greater powers, so the Diamonds, having learned their lesson back in the 6th century, deemed humans incapable of handling such a burden. It had taken a long time for Gems to erase every scrap of knowledge about humans gaining powers from human history, but Lapis took no part in that.

She wasn't on Earth during that time.

Maybe if she was her feelings now would be different.

Noticing Peridot staring at her, waiting for her to continue, Lapis cleared her throat and said, “Let's just say it did not go well for your species and we were told no one could find out.”  
  
“Th-then why didn’t you kill me?” Peridot slowly asked, stuttering.  
  
Lapis tilted her head slightly, almost amused with Peridot’s question, “It’s because I didn’t really think anything about it. You're the first person I ever took life from so it never occurred to me to kill you. Besides, I don’t like hurting people.”

The physical relief on her face was alarming to Lapis, and she went back to finish fixing herself a cup of tea, “Oh thank God.”

“You thought I went around killing people or something?” Lapis asked, hurt by the implication of Peridot's words.

“What? No! I wouldn't...I mean-I didn't-” Peridot snapped her mouth shut.

That genuinely hurt Lapis’ feelings that Peridot would think for one misbegotten moment she would hurt anyone. She didn't even remember that stupid order until Peridot brought it up! And she might get in serious trouble if _any_ other Gem found out about that, but still!

“I wouldn't hurt you, even if I did remember.” Lapis said, “It'd be a waste.”

Peridot snorted back laughter and sat down across from Lapis, teacup cradled in her hands, “Those Peridot's said the same thing about me.”

They weren't wrong, but Peridots only thought about what could benefit Gemkind. They didn't care whether or not Peridot died, only that the research they could have gathered from her would be lost.

The accusation stung, so if Peridot was going to bring up such unpleasantries first thing in the morning, Lapis could too.

“Have I relieved your fears about me murdering you in your sleep?” Lapis asked.

Peridot rolled her eyes, “Don't put it that way. I just wanted to know. But yes, I can sleep easy now knowing you won't drown me.”

“Good, cause I've been meaning to ask you about something.” Lapis said.

“If this is about burning the soup last night, don't start that again. You said you were going to watch it!” Peridot said.

“And you said you were only going to play WoW for forty five minutes.” Lapis replied with a shrug, “But no, I saw this the first night I stayed here, and was wondering why you don't put it on Pumpkin.” she raised the black leather collar off the chair.

Peridot blinked at her. The Gem could see the wheel turning in Peridot's mind in the way she fidgeted and started turning red. Lapis was patient though. If she could wait for the new season of Camp Pining Hearts, she could wait for this blushing mess of a human being to answer her.

Luckily, she did not have to wait to long.

“Guess it's really my fault for not putting that damn thing away I guess." Peridot said, miserably, "It isn't for Pumpkin.”

“Okay then, follow up question, who does it belong to?”

“Mine. It was a gift from someone I no longer speak with.” Peridot answered.

The blunt answer took Lapis aback. She half expected the human to come up with a half baked lie, not be so honest about it, “What do you mean yours? Humans don't wear collars.” At least as far as Lapis knew.

Collars were used as a mark of ownership, meant for pets and slaves - and that was the extent of Lapis’ knowledge about them.

“I only wore it once or twice and it's nothing special.” Peridot grumbled. She pushed her glasses up her nose. A habit the human seemed to do whenever she was nervous about something, “I've been meaning to throw it out.”

“I don't see why you would.” Lapis stared at it, rubbing the supple material with her thumb. It was nice, and real leather.

Still...humans wearing collars during this century?

What a very odd concept.

Odd indeed.

Suddenly it dawned on her.

Jasper had gotten a job guarding some human a long time ago. She came back talking about all the weird stuff she learned about them, like how people really loved chocolate, or how amazing some of their architecture was. The more interesting tidbit was about how humans had many and more odd ways and means of getting themselves aroused. Jasper said they were called kinks, if she recalled correctly, but Lapis never thought too much about them until now.

That made her all the more curious about Peridot.

“So what sort of kink involves collars?” Lapis asked out loud, causing Peridot to inhale quickly and start choking on the tea she was sipping.

“What kind of question is that?!” Peridot shouted once she regained her composure.

“The kind I am very interested in knowing the answer to now.” Lapis smiled.

If she _really_ wanted to, she could probably navigate Peridot's computer to find her answers. Her curiosity was ripe _now_ though and Peridot was sitting right there so she didn't want to sit in front of a screen trying to figure out how Google worked. She unbuckled the collar and fit it loosely around her own neck before fastening it. It was heavier than she thought, but the fur on the inside was soft against her throat.

“How is this comfortable for you?” Lapis asked absently as she tugged on the collar, “Or arousing for that matter?”

“Please, stop.” Peridot begged.

“Why?” Lapis giggled, sticking her tongue out at the flustered human who had her face buried in her hands, “How does it look?”

Peridot looked up sharply. Her eyes went wide as they fell on Lapis wearing her collar. She did not speak, but the way she was staring at her made Lapis feel she might have taken things a bit too far. Peridot's silence was a markedly different response than Lapis was used to getting.

All at once the human seemed to come back from wherever her mind lead her off to.

“Take that off!” Peridot demanded, leaning across the island to snatch it back.

There it was.

Lapis dodged her outstretched hand, “Nope!”

Peridot growled at her and stood up as Lapis retreated to the other side of the couch, “Take it off!" She followed after Lapis, determination etched across her features.

It just made Lapis want to tease her more.

“Not until you tell me why you wear it!”

“I don't!” Peridot insisted, leaning over the couch to grab at the collar.

Again, Lapis moved just out of her reach, giggling all the while. Peridot was honestly just too fun to tease and her reactions really were too adorable.

“Come on, Lapis, this isn't funny.” Peridot whined.

“Then why am I laughing?” Lapis asked, her voice tinted with mirth.

The look Peridot gave her was borderline murderous, “You're not going to let this go are you?”

“Nah,” Lapis said. But that was a lie. She was going to drop it as soon as Peridot meant for her to stop.

But until then…

She unbuckled the collar and in one smooth motion buckled it around Peridot's neck before the human realized what she'd done, “It does suit you.”

That caught Peridot completely off guard. She turned her face away and started to fiddle with the metal hoop at the front of it, blushing ear to ear, “Thanks.” she mumbled.

Lapis watched her for a time, taking in the sight of Peridot's unease. Her face was permanently stuck on red, her eyes looking at everything _but_ Lapis as her fingers toyed with the collar.

Gem's weren't made with a strong sense of smell, but even Lapis would have to be nose blind to the scent of Peridot's growing arousal. The human was practically soaking through her panties and just the thought made Lapis growl.  

When Peridot tried to shrink away from Lapis' gaze, the Gem reached out and hooked her index finger under the collar to pull Peridot over onto the couch. The human let out a surprised gasp, eyes widening as Lapis straddled her waist as she tried to get up.

“As far as I know, only pets and slaves wear collars,” Lapis said as she gave the item in question a sharp tug, “So, Peridot, which one are you?”

Peridot tried getting the words out, but all she managed was a weak sputter, "I-I-I-"

"Be quiet!" Lapis snapped, and the human's mouth closed.

The way Peridot had obeyed that command so quickly made Lapis want to be a little bit crueler.

"Do you want someone to own you, Peridot?" Lapis pressed onward, "To control what you do, what you say? Treat you like a dog and make you beg?"

The whine that came from the blonde made Lapis wet with anticipation. She never thought about owning a human before until she saw that collar around Peridot's neck. It was something about how natural it looked on her - so right how it fit much better around her neck than on Lapis'.

Her hands roamed under Peridot's shirt, finding no bra beneath it as she cupped her breasts. She gave them a light squeeze, then pinched her hardened nipples between thumb and forefinger. Peridot yelped at the sudden pain, but did not speak a word of protest.

"Oh, is that it? Do you want me to make you beg and tell you what a good girl you're being?" Lapis chuckled.

Though Peridot had no words to say, the Gem could read her answer plainly on her face - hear it in her soft pants and kitten-like mewls.

She slipped her hands from under the human's shirt (despite the loud whimper of protest) and moved up on her knees to hover just above Peridot's face. She gathered her skirt in one hand to reveal her dripping core to Peridot and tangled the other in her hair. To say Lapis wasn't turned on by this whole exchange would have been a lie and Peridot could see that plainly. Peridot's own eyes were practically black with desire, her eyes solely on Lapis's sex.

"Do you want to be a good girl for me?" Lapis practically purred.

"Yes!" Peridot managed to say, her voice cracking.

"Then show me."

With a silent nod, Peridot wrapped her arms around Lapis' thighs and brought her head forward. The first touch of Peridot's hot tongue against her throbbing heat was better than Lapis could possibly imagined. She released a throaty moan as Peridot went to work lapping at her sex as if her life depended on it. The human pulled away just slightly to give Lapis' clit a gentle nip before plunging her tongue back into her. She repeated the action twice more before closing her lips around Lapis' clit and sucking hard.

"Fuck!" Lapis cried out, back arching into the air  as she ground her hips down against Peridot's; her mind already growing fuzzy from pleasure. "So eager for your reward."

Her hand buried in Peridot's hair tugged harshly until the human's face was buried between her legs. Peridot's tongue seemed to work all the harder by the rough treatment.

Lapis could feel the knot hastily forming in her belly, her muscles tightening. _So close-_

"HEY!"

Lapis practically lost her balance when Peridot's hand slapped the couch noisily, snapping her back to reality. Her eyes went wide as she realized in one horrifying moment that nothing she felt or saw was real. Just her imagination going into a hormonal frenzy. _Oh my stars. What was I just…am I drooling?!_

Lapis quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand quickly, hoping against hope Peridot didn't notice that.

The human was looking at her, miffed, but for an entirely different reason, "Did you hear a word I just said?"

Lapis took a moment to gather herself. So Peridot was trying to have a conversation; she didn't hear any of it. They were both standing on either side of the couch, just how they were before she fastened the collar around Peridot's neck, but that was the extent of it.

Peridot had taken the article off and was clenching it in her hand as if it were a weapon.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what you said." Lapis admitted. Of course she had to let her mind wander off like that standing a bare foot away from Peridot. Because _now_ was the perfect time for that.

She blamed the collar and the secret behind it. That was surely the match that started the fire in her mind.

"You spaced out on me for like 5 minutes, what happened?" Peridot questioned, her face softening when she noticed Lapis' unease yet still oblivious to her inner thoughts, "Are you sick? Can Gems even gets sick?"

"N-no! I'm fine perfectly fine!" Lapis said. Her face was heating up from embarrassment as she fumbled for a lie. Finding none, she went to the next best thing, "I was…just thinking we should watch some TV! YEP! That's it." She quickly sat down on the couch. Lapis grimaced as she felt the wetness along her inner thigh and played it off as she searched for the remote.

Finding the device, Lapis quickly turned the TV on to fill the room with loud shouting from the crowd being filmed. It wasn't Camp Pining Hearts, but the news made just as good a distraction.

Peridot's worry was written clearly on her face by Lapis' nonchalance. Lapis could feel her eyes burning into the back of her head as she did her best to pretend she didn't spend the last few minutes thinking about sitting on Peridot's face.

Peridot tossed the collar lazily onto the coffee table, before taking a seat beside Lapis, "You okay?"

"Fine!" Lapis said in a rush, "Don't worry about me!"

"Kinda hard not to be when you space out like that." Peridot said, "You've been doing it a lot lately. You sure you're okay?"

Lapis was one more "are you okay" from tearing her hair out and flooding the apartment. Of course she wasn't okay! She wanted to say to Hell with the consequences and rip Peridot's clothes off and take her right then and there, but _no._ Having been successfully denied any satisfaction to her own fantasies Lapis was too emotionally drained to deal with reality anymore. She wanted to sit down, forget Peridot was in the same room with her, and lose herself in the mindless drivel on the flat screen.

She could already hear the question forming on Peridot's lips, but what exactly it was, was something Lapis would never know. The news flashed on and the shouting from the people on camera drowned out her words.

"- _behind me, Corrin Syax, leader of the newly formed Anti-Gem Front, with thousands of its members all rally together here in Beach City, cry for an end to the year long killing spree conducted by a corrupted Gem."_ The news anchor said, " _Earlier this morning we had word of a prominent member going missing a week ago, and Mr. Syax was convinced it was the work of not one, but two Gems. Sources say that Mr. Syax has successfully shattered two of the suspected Gems by his group just hours ago, declaring a state of emergency and claims that he will deal with this corrupted threat if the Diamonds won't. More on this in just a few minutes!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good god nearly 5k words of this trash! Never again!
> 
> I can't write smut to save my life, but I'm practicing...sorry for how bad this is. Also collars are sexy, Pumpkin is the cockblock wonder dog and Peridot is totally a bottom. 
> 
> \----------
> 
> {A general idea of the conversation I had with my friend and editor about this chapter...}
> 
> Bowow0708 : You really got me with chapter 9, I have to say  
> You weren't joking when you said it was "wishful thinking"
> 
> Me: I hope to get a few people with that. I was laughing half the time tbh
> 
> Bowow0708: You got me, and I can assure you that it'll get more than just a few of your readers
> 
> Me: then my goal is accomplished
> 
> Bowow0708: Also I would suggest you don't play the bait and switch too often, or your readers might go crazy
> 
> Me: I won't. It's a one time thing cause i couldn't resist due to subject matter
> 
> Bowow0708: A double cockblock is pretty bad haha
> 
> Me: I'm not sorry


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper gets her suspicions confirmed and the other Jasper is sick of Lapis's shit.

Jasper spat out a mouthful of saltwater, the taste lingering in her mouth. She sat down heavily on the shoreline watching as Malachite's form swam further and further away. There was no point in pursuing the fusion, but the thought still annoyed her. She turned that annoyance on Pearl the instant the Gem made it on shore, "What the hell, Pearl?"

"Don't look at me!" Pearl snapped back, irritably. Her nerves were just as bad as Jasper's it seemed.

"We had her cornered and ya'll wanted to keep fooling around like a bunch of monkeys!" The red and orange Gem snapped right back, "We  _ had _ her!"

Amethyst rolled her eye, "Come on, sis. How were we supposed to know Malachite was going to drop a block of ice on our heads? Last I checked, you were too busy dancing with her ice shards to give us any help."

"And last I checked someone had Future Vision." Jasper said giving the Gems clenched protectively in Pearl's hands a hard stare, "She couldn't predict a block of ice crashing on your skull?"

"It's not Garnet's fault." Pearl said, defensively. She opened her hands to stare at the two gems in her palm, sadly, "Malachite is becoming more and more corrupted. Her erratic behavior means she isn't adhering to  _ any _ timeline Garnet sees. There's nothing she can do about it."

"We'd have a better chance if we had Lapis-" Amethyst began, but Jasper shot her a look.

"I already told you she's not even in Beach City!" Jasper said, annoyed by the mention of her friend. The last time she saw Lapis, the Gem was hanging around some human (who had a poor sense of humor she might add). She honestly didn't even know Lapis still in the city, "And even if she was, we won't stand a better chance. Lapis can move the ocean as much as she wants, but against a monster who can do the same, only better? And can turn it into ice? I don't need Future Vision to tell you how bad that'll turn out."

Pearl glowered in silence while Amethyst kicked a seashell back into the water. Jasper could understand the frustration and disappointment they were feeling. She looked down at her hand and picked up a piece of torn cloth. The sea water washed most of the color away, but there was no mistaking blood. 

There was too much blood in Beach City thanks to Malachite, and because of that the vultures all came swarming like flies on a corpse. 

Jasper took a peek over her shoulder to where the the rally's stage once stood. In its place was broken beams and tattered banners. People were being held back by human authorities and Gems alike, all shouting above each other to be heard. 

It was only four days ago that the Anti-Gem Front took up residence in Beach City and began rallying at the beach, inciting fear and hate - as all of humankind do when they feel threatened. Malachite was probably drawn by all the noise; that's why she came emerging from the depths like some ancient leviathan to snatch a man right out the crowd. Before anyone could blink she had torn the man to pieces and devoured his corpse in front of hundreds of people (and, more importantly, in front of a camera; not the she cared). It was only Jasper's luck that she and the Crystal Gems were patrolling the beach at the time. 

They wouldn't be able to find Malachite now, not without Garnet. 

The red Gem stood and dusted sand off her legs, "Seeing how we can't do anything until Garnet reforms, head back to the Temple and give Rose Quartz the update." Jasper said.

"What will you be doing?" Pearl asked, eyes squinting in suspicion.

Pearl never liked Jasper, always having her endless suspicions about her comings and goings (not that it was any of her business…). The only one who should have been concerned about her whereabouts was Pink Diamond, not her uppity Pearl.

"I made a friend and need to check up on her."

In truth she needed to ask that runt of a human with her poor sense of humor if she knew where Lapis went.

Amethyst gave a short, snort of laughter, "Oh wow, my big sis made a friend. I'm shocked." 

"Keep it up, Ame, and I swear I'll chuck you down Malachite's throat next time we see her."

She bid her sister and Pearl goodbye for the day and headed to the human's apartment.

It wasn't all that hard to remember where Peridot lived - that small, intelligent dork that Lapis spent the better part of two hours talking about. It seemed Lapis had taken a liking to the human named for a Gem and her demeanor matched that of one too. She did save Lapis's life so Jasper wouldn't complain too loudly. 

Once Jasper was inside the human housing structure, she took the elevator up to the fifth floor.

She heard the muffled arguing even down the hallway, "So she did stay after all...seriously?" 

Before she even opened the door, a loud bang came from within, followed by a string of angry cursing that was distinctly human. Jasper may not have thought much about the tiny human, but that did not sound good at all. She found the door unlocked and let herself in, a question on her lips but she never managed to get it out.

Lapis had Peridot pinned to the highest part of the wall, her watery wings flapping almost lazily to keep in the air, "Just because I stayed here for a few days to "ease your worry" didn't mean I wouldn't leave. If you think I won't, you're stupider than I thought."

The tiny human was seething, a total contrast to Lapis's ice cold demeanor, "How can you not see that you're just going to go off and get yourself killed like an idiot!"

"I won't stand here and let those people shatter anymore Gems! They'll get themselves killed-"

"You stood aside and let Gems kill humans already! Why do you care now?"

_ Shiiiiiiiit. _ Jasper thought. Did Lapis tell her that? Why would Lapis tell her that?!

Lapis' face darkened with anger and shame at the accusation, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

"OR YOU'LL WHAT?!" Peridot shouted back.

They silently glared at each other, faces so close their nose looked like they were touching. Jasper could hear their heavy breathing, see Peridot's red face, and her hands trembling as they clenched at Lapis's that held her up by the front of her shirt. She was a tiny ball of angry energy, but there wasn't anything she could do about the alien strength holding her 10 feet off the ground.

And Lapis looked about two seconds away from bending Peridot in half - either to kill her or fuck her, Jasper honestly couldn't tell. Both expressions were about the same to her.

After a drawn out silence, someone finally spoke. 

"Put me down." Peridot said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lapis continued to glare at Peridot

"Put me down or I'll-"

"You'll what?" She threw back.

" _ I'll  _ make you." Jasper announced, slamming the door shut to announce her presence. 

The sound startled Lapis and she released her hold on the human's shirt. Luckily, Peridot was clutching onto her, or else she would have fallen.  Lapis circled an arm around Peridot's waist and slowly lowered her back to the ground. She didn't let go until both Peridot's feet touched the floor.

_ Weird... _ Jasper thought, then said, "I see you two are getting along swimmingly." Jasper said with no hint of amusement. She took a quick glance around and saw all the water stains on the floor and walls, "Why does this place look like someone tried flooding it?"

"She did." Peridot bit out, "Twice."

"Once." Lapis corrected.

" _ Twice _ . I had to tell everyone my sink  _ and  _ toilet exploded." Peridot said, disbelief twisting her face, "Kiki's grandma still wants to call the cops because she's convinced I was trying to flush my drug stash!"

"You gave her ample reason to believe you were." Lapis threw back, "You told her you thought you saw Gems in your sink and you had to save them! Any sane human would think you were on some drug induced bender!"

"Oh did you want me to just say "yeah, sorry Baba, my waterbending Gem roommate named Lapis got pissed off because some Gem hating group of rednecks shattered two of her sisters and is on some crusade to hunt down the rest of Lapis Lazuli, and busted my water pipes out of anger and, by the way, she is currently hiding from said group! Don't tell anyone"?" 

Jasper made a face, "That...sounds long and convoluted."

"So does Lapis's brilliant plan!" Peridot jabbed a finger into Lapis's chest, "Something about finding Corrin and drowning him?"

"It's a good plan!"

"More like short sighted and-"

"Okay, okay, enough." Jasper sighed loudly. These two were about as bad as Amethyst and Pearl, "Tell me everything from the beginning before I put you both through a wall." 

"She's being unreasonable!" Both shouted at once while pointing an accusing finger at the other.

Jasper rubbed her face tiredly then smiled. If they were going to be difficult, so would she, "Let's try this again." She put a fist through the wall and stared down at the two, both now wide eyed and slack jawed, "What. Happened?"

Peridot launched into the tale quickly as Jasper set to fixing the hole she just made.

Lapis and Peridot saw the news about the two Lapis Lazuli being shattered by the Anti-Gem Front. The ocean Gem was beyond furious at the time, having burst several of the pipes in Peridot's apartment in her rage. She flooded every unit below Peridot's, caused a lot of water damage that Peridot was currently in a legal battle with her insurance. Peridot had convinced her to stay in for a few days until the heat died down, but that afternoon, after watching another rally, they witnessed Malachite’s sudden attack on the beach. It was almost surreal watching the large Fusion grab a man from the crowd and rip into him and then the news camera had cut from there. 

Lapis was in such a wild frenzy, she was ready to fly off and fight Malachite. Peridot had called Lapis a suicidal asshole and an argument soon broke out.

Jasper stopped listening after that. She was busy studying Lapis again, watching the blue Gem mull about the kitchen to open and close cabinets as Peridot was retelling the events, hardly disputing them. She dumped the contents of an oatmeal packet into a bowl before adding milk and honey to it, then she put it in the microwave. 

When Peridot got to the part when Lapis picked her up as if she was a child, the microwave dinged. She took the bowl out, garnished it with blueberries and chopped almonds and set it down at the little kitchen island.

That gave Peridot pause and she went to sit, “Thanks.” Peridot said without second thought and ate, "Tastes amazing, as always."

Lapis looked bored, but Jasper saw the small hint of pride in her eyes at the compliment, “We’re almost out, can you stop at the store after your interviews?”

"No promises. I might be able to grab some eggs from the corner store."

Lapis blanched, "Only if you want that for the rest of the week."

Jasper gave the pair a look, surprised by the sudden change in their attitudes. Weren't they arguing a few minutes ago?, “You started cooking for her too?”

“She can't cook." Lapis said, her voice tight with irritation. It wasn't until the the indignant stare Peridot shot the Gem did Lapis's expression soften and she laughed out loud, "No offense, Peri, but you have zero skills in the kitchen.”

“Where does a Gem even learn to cook anyways?” Peridot shot back.

Lapis gave her a sly smile, “Wouldn't you like to know.”

“I would, actually!” Peridot huffed, "And putting things in the microwave and pushing a button isn't "cooking"."

Lapis snorted, "That maybe true, but it's still more than what you can do."

"I can microwave food!" 

"And still somehow manage to burn it."

"And as much as I'm enjoying this  _ wonderful _ conversation." Jasper interrupted. Lapis and Peridot blushed - both seemed embarrassed that they forgot Jasper was even in the room, "I don't mean to be a broken record here, but if things are getting really bad out there, it's only going to get worse."

"And?"

"The runt is right. You should be staying out of sight."

“But I'm bored.” Lapis complained.

Ever since the news about the other Lapis Lazuli getting shattered spread far and wide, Jasper wanted Lapis to stay safe. It was just logical. With no one but Jasper and Peridot knowing her whereabouts, there was no chance she'd be found. Judging by how bad their earlier argument had gotten, Jasper could safely assume Peridot was firmly on the “let's keep Lapis out of sight” corner, while Lapis…

Lapis was not made to stay indoors. She loved being outside, sleeping under the stars, flying. She needed to feel the wind through her hair, the ocean on her skin, the energy of life around her. Being confined, and in such a small space at that, would drive her insane. Then again, the way Lapis was looking at Peridot, the only reason why she would even agree to stay put was because she would be staying with the human. 

“I can pick up a console for you.” Peridot suggested, “My computer has all the best shooters but lacks in the RPG department. I know one has a bunch of games that you can enjoy for days on end.”

“You know I only care about those things if you're playing them.” Lapis said, “Besides, you can explain the plot better and you know I can't keep up with all the names and items.”

Peridot gave her an apologetic pat on the shoulder, “I told you I'd teach you to-”

“-Don't you have an interview or something?!” Lapis said very loudly to cut off Peridot.

Jasper already knew she couldn't read and bugged her half a hundred times to stop being a stubborn mule and pick up a book. But telling Peridot she couldn't? Lapis wasn't the most open Gem in the world, but she held  _ that _ secret close to her heart. 

_ What an interesting development... _ Jasper thought as she applied the finishing touches to the wall. It was just some paper and duct tape, but she would fix it properly once she got the right material.

“Oh shoot you're right. Thanks for breakfast again. We can play the Witcher when I get back! You better fix my wall, Jasper!" Peridot had her jacket in hand and was out the door before Lapis could wish her good luck.

"Yeah, yeah." Jasper waved a hand dismissively.

When she was gone Lapis turned to face her friend once more. 

Jasper couldn't help it. She started grinning ear to ear, “So…”

Her tone put Lapis immediately on edge.

“So?” Lapis challenged with steel in her voice that Jasper ignored.

"Oh nothing, just wondering the real reason why you're still here." Jasper said. She picked up the small creature whining noisily at her feet, "Hello, Pumpkin." She cooed softly _. _

Lapis got that stubborn look on her face again, "Why does it matter?"

"Curious is all." Jasper said, keeping an air of nonchalance, "It's just, well, you don't usually stick around one place for so long. I figured you'd leave after seeing those Gem hating twats all over the place."

"I would  _ love  _ to leave, but um…" Lapis blushed and looked away, "I have to keep an eye on Peridot."

"Why?"

Lapis hesitated, and seemed to be struggling to find words to say, "She...uh...when she saved me she got Ferrokinesis and her powers haven't gone away."

Jasper almost let the dog slip through her fingers. That was the worst possible news Jasper could have gotten, "Lapis, no." she knew Lapis was a little dense, but  _ this _ was stupid beyond words.

"Don't start, Jasper."

"Lapis, this is bad." Jasper said in sudden panic, "Do you have any idea what the Diamonds will do to her if they find out?"

"I know!" Lapis snapped back, "She saved my life, what did you expect me to do? 

"Kill her! You can't be this dense not to see the potential problems this will have between the humans and Gems!"

"And it'd be justifiable! What we did was one step below genocide and I wouldn't blame any of them if they wanted us gone!" Lapis snapped back, "Peridot's only keeping this a secret because, depending on whoever gets her first, she'll dissected or put in a bubble!"

"We were ordered to-"

"I didn't even remember that stupid order until Peridot brought it up!" Lapis exclaimed, "And I'm not about to start caring about it now! The only ones who even now about this are the Peridots in the observatory and you!"

Jasper couldn't help it, she groaned out loud and rubbed her face. She was about to tell Lapis how this was very much a bad situation, when she saw the sudden fear in Lapis's eyes. She never seen that expression before in the five thousand years she'd known Lapis.

"Please don't tell anyone." Lapis said, "I promise I'll stay put if you don't go running to Pink Diamond about Peridot."

Jasper let out a tired sigh. She could argue that people were going to find out about this, and the Diamonds  _ were  _ going to demand Peridot die and maybe even have Lapis bubbled for keeping it a secret. Still, Lapis was also her dearest friend and as stupid she was being, she must have had some reason other than "oops I forgot". She could have easily put an end to this complication once Peridot asked her about the kill order and Jasper had a notion or two as to why Lapis sticking around the human. 

"The Diamonds won't hear a peep from me, I swear, but you gotta be honest with me here. Tell me why her body isn't being identified at a morgue right now." The look on Lapis's face was more than enough to confirm Jasper's suspicions, "Stars, is that what's going on? You and tiny?"

“Nothing is going on.” Lapis spat out. Her hands were clenched at her sides to prevent herself from striking the other Gem.

“Are you sure? Because if I didn't know any better, it seems to me that you like-” her last words were cut off as a waterball the size of a fist punched her across the face. Jasper went down in a heap on the floor.

Pumpkin quickly leapt out of her arms and into Lapis's.

"That was dirty." Jasper growled at the other Gem as she checked to make sure her gem wasn't cracked.

“You better go fix that wall before Peridot comes home.” Lapis said. Then she walked briskly into a room and slammed the door shut.

Jasper looked at the ceiling, finding it very hard to sympathise with Lapis now.  _ Maybe I should tell Pink Diamond… _ she thought spitefully. 

No, she wouldn't do that. There was too much going on for her to be opening old wounds. Until Malachite was dealt with, all other problems had to wait, and, if Peridot was such a concern for Lapis, maybe Lapis would stay fucking put for once. But first, Malachite had to be found, wherever she gone to ground, she'll have to pop up again sooner or later.

* * *

_ Elsewhere... _

Lapis Lazuli paced back and forth inside the cave, as she scratched at her arms endlessly. Anger twisted her usual calm and collected features. Her insides burned with an unstated hunger that was driving her mad, but for once, she ignored the feeling. All she wanted was to stop and rest, but her body kept pushing her to continue on, even as it was slowly being eaten away.

"Stop doing that. You're getting on my nerves." Came a gruff voice off to her left.

Lapis whirled on the other Gem, seething, "Don't talk to me."

"Or you'll what?" Jasper challenged, her one good eye glaring at the dark blue Gem. She was nursing a large cut across her forearm, the same as Lapis, "It's not my fault this happened. If you hadn't decided to go after that man-"

"Fuck you!" Lapis shouted, tearing at her long, shaggy hair in a futile attempt to stop the urge to smash Jasper's face in, "You know he deserved it! They all deserved it! We need to keep going or else there won't be anymore of them left, you know that!"

She resumed her pacing and scratching.

She couldn't stop. 

Mustn't stop. 

If she did even for a moment, the Corruption would spread mercilessly and she didn't want that. 

"I'm not saying they didn't." Jasper said, angrily, "You're making this all…" she paused, "personal. You're angry at those men for what they did and you stupidly attacked them in the open. That's  _ not  _ what we agreed to. You're going to fuck us with your recklessness."

"Will you just shut up?"

"Look at you, Lapis!" Jasper stood up, gesturing vaguely at the ocean Gem's body, "You're not going to last the way you're going!"

Jasper was right.

All over her body was decaying. Lapis could already feel strips of her flesh peeling away to reveal black hardened scales beneath. She had long since lost her eyes, but she could still see the world as clear as day. 

"Lapis-"

**_You'll break._ **

"Shut up!" A wall water rose from the small pool in the cave and she used it to slam Jasper into the wall.

It was so sudden that Jasper had no chance to defend herself. She was held against the wall and Lapis stalked over to her, eyes like mirrors reflecting Jasper's rage.

"You got a lot of nerve-"

Water hardened over her mouth.

"I said shut up." Lapis repeated, "Whenever you speak I can't hear my own thoughts.  _ We keep going _ ." Her voice had a finality in it that made Jasper scowl all the harder, "We have to do this, Jasper. Those people have no idea what's happening and we have to protect them."

She could still taste the blood in her mouth when she bit off the other Lazuli's arm. Lapis covered her mouth, horror twisting her features as her eyes began to water. What would have happened if Alexandrite hadn't showed up and attacked her.

"We have to…"

**_You're too weak to protect anyone._ **

Lapis slammed her fist into the wall, "SHUT UP!"

Stars, why wouldn't she just shut up?

"AND WHY WON'T THIS ITCH GO AWAY!?" Lapis exclaimed.

She sank to the soft, muddied ground and began to sob hysterically. Her nails dug into her arms to tear the skin away in long ribbons. Underneath, hardened scales burst forth, glistening black in the sun's reflection. She tore away bits and pieces until there were scales going along wrist up to her elbow. 

Suddenly, an arm was around her, pinning her arms to her side. Lapis swore and struggled feebly, cursing herself mostly for forgetting about Jasper. Now the larger Gem was holding her, pressing her tight against her body that was covered in hideous green splotches. If she wasn't compelled to fuse with Jasper, Lapis would never willingly touch her.

Lapis snarled in fury, "Let go of me!"

"Why don't you stop talking for a change, Lazuli?" Jasper growled back. Her other hand was big enough to grasp all of the ocean Gem's neck. She squeezed so hard Lapis let out a choked gasp and couldn't get another word out. 

Wordlessly, Jasper slowly began releasing Lapis, but her hand stayed around her neck, knowing it was the only threat that would keep Lapis from trying to attack her again. Once her arm was free, the red Gem put her hand on Lapis' back, creeping it down to the droplet shaped gem embedded on her lower back. It was almost as kind as a lover's caress, but Lapis knew better after dealing with the Gem for so long.

Lapis shied away from the touch, but she only managed to press herself harder against Jasper. Without warning, Jasper slammed her down onto the ground and a large  _ CRACK  _ vibrated off the ceiling and walls of the cave. Lapis did not cry out though - her gem was unharmed. That was just the sound of another crack forming along her leg. She stared up at the taller Gem, mirrored eyes reflecting the anger staring down at her. 

"It's almost criminal how a fragile Gem like you has so much power." Jasper growled, baring her sharp canines, "If Malachite wasn't as strong as she was, I would have shattered you for what you did to me."

"You like the power too much to give it up." Lapis accused.

"That too." Jasper laughed, "But I love the fighting more. I like watching you struggle to keep me from taking control of Malachite."

Lapis would have gladly encased Jasper in a mountain of water, but she resisted the urge. So many times they've done this dance before and everytime it felt like they were lovers having a spat.

Lapis frowned. 

No, this far from love. Love was a warmer, gentler feeling. She felt it before, but she spent so much time being fused, Lapis must have forgotten what love felt like. All she knew was hurt, anger, and hunger. 

A terrible, aching hunger that she couldn't ignore forever.

"You have that look again." Jasper pointed, "I can never tell if it's because you want to kill me, kiss me or devour me."

Lapis wished Jasper would stop looking at her. She never did like the way she was always looking at her. It was as if the other Gem was trying to strip the clothes off her body, "None of those. The Corruption is near. I feel it."

"Of course." Jasper rolled her eyes, "You know, you dragged me into this waking nightmare." Jasper gave a light chuckle, but there was no humor to it, "The least you could do is give me a kiss for all my sacrifices."

Lapis would have spat full in her face, but she didn't have anymore strength in her to deal with her nonsense, "When will you get it through your thick skull. I will  _ never  _ love you, Jasper."

"Hate me as much as I hate you when we're apart then." Jasper released Lapis's neck, but kept her pinned down by pressing her knee into her stomach. Lapis squirmed, trying to sit up, but Jasper had pushed her back down, "But when we're Malachite, I want your love. It's the only way to keep us from falling apart."

The way Jasper was looking at her made Lapis almost regret provoking her - considering the other Gem was rage and hate incarnate. Suddenly, Jasper leaned down and sank her teeth into Lapis's shoulder. The reaction was immediate in the ocean Gem. Lapis lashed out angrily, smacking the other Gem across the face with claws as sharp as knives. She missed the gem on Jasper's cheek by a centimeter.

Jasper only laughed.

"Don't be such a brat." She said as if she was speaking to a child. She got to her feet and rubbed at her face with one hand while she held out the other for Lapis to take.

The ocean Gem slapped the offered hand away, too annoyed with the other to accept her help. Lapis could make it to her own feet fine without Jasper's help. 

"When we are Malachite, you should be lucky I don't stamp you out for good." Lapis said, her tone wearisome, "We need to go."

Jasper grasped Lapis's hand almost forcefully, "We're not done-"

"Are we ever?" Lapis said as she lead Jasper to the cave opening. She took a long look at the open sea in front of her, breathed in the deep the salty air and scent of water.

If only she could go back to those peaceful days. When the Corruption was not blackening her insides and rotting her mind away. 

"Shall we?" Lapis asked.

Jasper's only answer was putting an arm around Lapis, their hands still joined, and giving the smaller Gem a twirl. Lapis felt the angry energy around her, threatening to consume the rest of her being. She kept herself from giving into the rage as they fused - no matter what Jasper thought of her, she was not weak. She was strong! Stronger than Jasper, stronger than the Corruption.

She had to be. 

Otherwise what was the point in all of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It lives!
> 
> Sorry, it got a little...Jaspis at the end. Their relationship is a little complicated. 
> 
> Should be able to regularly update again every other week next month once things at my job become more stable! 
> 
> Thanks for being extremely patient and leaving kudos and comments for my last chapter! Always brings a smile to my face when I see them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Lives!
> 
> Warning: may contain too many feels

The Gems were talking quietly amongst themselves again, as they always did whenever Peridot was finished with her hour long exercises. Peridot busied herself by changing back into her street clothes, a task harder to accomplish because of the bruise on her shoulder. She made a mental note to buy more button ups if every visit was going to leave her aching.

It was roughly three weeks since she started coming to the observatory, increasing her visits from once to three times. Since then, her powers have developed to a point where Peridot could bend metal to her will. The downside to it was the undue strain Peridot was putting on her body each time she lifted anything more than fifty pounds. That was about as much as she could lift without her life being in peril. 

Taking a look over her shoulder, Peridot caught F6 giving her a sideways glance. Every time the blonde changed that Peridot seemed to always be staring at her - for one reason or another. She never did ask the question Peridot always saw lingering in her eyes, and she wasn't about to confront her on it. 

F4, the Peridot hell bent on breaking her both physically and mentally, made a vague gesture in her direction, breaking F6's concentration. Peridot rolled her eyes when the Gem glared at her then turned her body away.

"You can just tell me what you're talking about instead of giving me the attitude, Jack." Peridot snapped at the Gem. 

The Gem glared back, but said nothing.

Jack was the name Peridot gave the Gem. It was the name of the boy she dated back in high school. The relationship was dull, unfulfilling, and a complete waste of her precious time in truth. Jack himself was uninteresting, but he was brutish, ill-tempered, and treated Peridot as if she _owed_ him for letting her date him. The only thing she got out of that disappointment was learning she preferred the fairer sex. 

F4 reminded Peridot a lot of that boy, always acting as if she owed the Gem for allowing her to be in her presence.

Jack said nothing about her name, and instead answered Peridot's question, "You're powers are developing nicely, but we may have to report our findings to Yellow Diamond."

F9, Dott as Peridot started calling her by, shook her head, "The weekly visits have refined your control over metal, which has exceeded our expectations and we would very much rather study the development more closely. Letting any Gem, let alone a Diamond hear of this could get us all bubbled."

Jack shook her head. "I personally rather see Peridot's powers develop. This is so much like that Universe child, only we have an opportunity to study humans with powers. However, if things get out of hand we will need to tell someone-"

"Nonsense! Peridot has near control over metal! What could go wrong with that?" Perri, F6 and the friendliest of the trio asked, almost defensively, "When you started bending that steel beam, it was amazing! You might even have the potential to rip airplanes out of the sky, Peridot!"

"I very much doubt that." Peridot winced as a sharp pain shot down her arm from the bruise. It was a reminder that the effort earlier was going to follow her around for the rest of the week, "And it wasn't that impressive. The damn thing wouldn't budge for five minutes."

"The attempt was still costly. The undue strain from that is having unforeseen consequences." Dott said, worry creasing her brow. She was looking back at her finger screens and turned it around to show Peridot, "See here?"

Peridot squinted at the diagram, "That doesn't look good."

"More to the point it's not going to get better." Dott said, closing her screen, "Continue practicing, but we highly recommend you don't move anything over ten pounds." 

Jack scoffed, "Ten pounds or five, it doesn't make a difference. You're only going to hurt yourself so keep the use to a minimal."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Peridot glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed, "I gotta go."

Perri was all sympathy. She knew how many interviews Peridot went to and how many of those businesses never gave her a call back, "Another interview?"

Peridot nodded glumly, "It seems I'm either overqualified for the positions I'm applying to, or don't have enough experience. My resume isn't that great to begin with."

The only job she ever had was working as her mother's coder. It was the only thing she was good at. That and building things. Beach City really didn't have a lot of options for her skill set.

"I'm so sorry for you." Jack said in a tone that suggested she wasn't, "Facet 9, we should compile our data to paint a better picture of this phenomenon. Shards are not supposed to get bigger."

"I concur, what we need to do is…" Both Gems walked off, bouncing ideas back and forth on what to do about the unusual growth in Peridot's body.

It didn't sit easy with Peridot that her most vital organ was being overtaken by a bunch of gem shards she had no means of removing. So far she was not suffering from adverse side effects, but that could change at a drop of a hat if she kept practicing the way she was. She'd start suffering from those heart attacks they kept talking about or in the worst case she dies.

Peridot bent over to put on her shoes, when she felt a presence beside her. She sat up straight to look at the Peridot that remained behind, "Oh, Perri."

 _This_ Peridot was friendlier than the other two, always making small talk and keeping Peridot up to date with the others' findings. Peridot could even consider Perri a friend (she didn't have many of those) with how much time they spent in each other's company. As little of it that was. Though, for all their conversations, Perri never looked so uncertain as she did just then, as if whatever she wanted to talk about was physically hurting her.

"Not following cranky?" Peridot asked to break the quiet tension.

"Depends which one you are talking about." Perri chuckled. Then all traces of humor was gone from her face, "Hey, can you answer a question for me?"

"Can you make it quick, I have to go-." Suddenly a hand was placed on her shoulder and Peridot's body went rigid with tension, "Don't touch me." 

Perri looked stricken, but her fingers tightened on Peridot's shoulder to keep her from running off, "Who did that to you?"

There was a tightness in Peridot's belly by the question. It was vague, but one of Perri's finger attachments gently prodded at the scar on her back to identity her inquiry. 

Peridot's eyes narrowed, "None of your business."

"If you have a history of violence, we need to know about it." Perri insisted, "Were you part of a gang? Was it some initiation? D-did the Gem you save-?"

If Peridot wasn't angry before, she was now. She never told the Peridots about Lapis, and she wasn't going to let this Gem accuse her of something that happened in her youth. The memory still haunted her, even now after so many years.

_Blood was everywhere._

_Her sister was screaming and crying at the same time._

_Peridot was numb all over as the knife in her hand slipped through her fingers and clattered to the floor._

_"Murderer!" Her mother was screaming at her._

Bile rose in the back of Peridot's throat. She twisted out of Perri's grip, "I have to go!"

_"Murderer!"_

"Peridot, wait!'

She was already out the door before Perri could catch her. 

 _Stupid Gem asking her stupid questions._ Peridot growled as she stomped to her car. Her mood was fouled. There was no way she was going to pass her interview now.

Instead of going as planned and make an embarrassment out of herself, Peridot parked her car just off the boardwalk where Funland was. She exited her car and made her way down towards the arcade where Mr. Smiley was sure to be waiting with a bunch of tokens and a stupid smile on his face. At the last moment, however, Peridot decided against taking her frustrations out on the machines and went down towards the beach. She sat down heavily on the sand and looked out at the ocean, burying the unease and anxiety she felt about the water beneath her disappointment and self loathing.

 _Get your worthless ass up and go to your interview._ She kept telling herself, but Peridot stayed where she was, watching people come and go. _You need this job. You need a job. Any job._

She stayed at the beach well into the afternoon. 

A little past four, Peridot sensed a shadow looming over her and she opened her eyes. She must have drifted off. Startled to find a young boy staring down at her, Peridot sat up, alarmed and confused (and luckily not sunburned due to the dark gray sky). 

"Hey! You must be Peridot!" He said with a wide smile, "Man,they were right! You do sorta look like a Gem. Your hair is all pointy, like a pyramid."

"Um…thanks?" _that_ wasn't the least bit insulting.

"Steven Universe!" The boy stuck his hand out.

Ah. That name rang a bell. Steven was the half Gem/half human hybrid that occasionally helped the Crystal Gems out on their missions. He was as famous as his dad in Beach City, though not so much outside it. Technically speaking, he was a hybrid, but classified as a Gem to keep him protected from experimentation by humans. As far as Peridot could see, Steven was just a kid. 

Peridot stared at the overstretched hand, skeptically, not even bothering to reach up and take it, "Pleasure to meet you, Steven-"

He took her hand anyways and shook it up and down with an enthusiasm Peridot didn't have. She ended up snatching her hand away when it was clear he was not letting go. That didn't seem to bother him. 

"I know this seems pretty out of nowhere, but a friend told me you've been looking for a job."

That surprised her, "R-really?" She wondered who could have told this little boy her adult problems. It's not like she had any friends to talk to.

Steven smiled wider, "Yeah! She said you might be able to help my dad out with his car wash. Well help him manage his computer."

"Car wash?" Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose, "Okay, look. A car wash and computers don't exactly mix, kid-"

"Steven."

"-Steven." Peridot corrected herself, "I appreciate the offer but-"

"You wouldn't even be dealing with cars! Just managing a website and appointments!"

Tempting offer, but Peridot didn't know the first thing about carwash, "I think you might need to find someone else for that position. I might be a little under qualified for that." 

"Garnet said you'd be super hesitant." Steven chuckled, "He'll pay you $16 an hour plus overtime!"

Peridot was going to ask why a car wash even needed a website, or appointments for that matter, but that gave her pause. Even if it wasn't much, her last job was paying her $21, so it wouldn't be that big of a step down. Peridot could survive off that if she budgeted carefully. Super carefully and only if she told Jasper to stop being such a black hole and bring her own goddamn food so she wasn't scarfing down hundreds of dollars worth of it every other week-

She rubbed her face tiredly, stopping the thoughts before they wondered too close to murderous. _Maybe this is a sign_. She told herself. Maybe the universe was finally giving her a break.

And that usually that meant something bad was just around the corner, but she wouldn't think about that now. Still, who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth? 

"Okay. Where should I apply?" 

"No need. Just show up tomorrow and build him a website for his carwash." Steven said.

Peridot allowed herself a small smile, feeling ashamed of her earlier behaviour towards the child, "Thanks, Steven. I appreciate you coming to me with this."

"Any friend of Bob is a friend of mine!" Steven smiled broadly, "Hope to see you soon, Peridot!"

"Bye." She gave a small wave, then stopped midway to finally process what he just said, "Wait...Bob? Who's Bob?!"

Steven was already running towards a group of Gems down the beach, waving frantically at them. Peridot immediately identified them as the Crystal Gems: Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst, Pink Diamond's own squad of corrupted hunters. Even from far away, Peridot could see Pearl staring at her a hint of pity, with an underlying apprehension. 

 _Does Steven call her Bob? Man, kids are weird._ Peridot thought as she stood up to dust the sand off her jeans. _Whatever I need to get home._

A warm smile came to her lips.

_I can't wait to tell Lapis I got a job!_

But first she needed to stop and grab a bootleg of the latest CPH movie. 

And ice cream. 

No celebration went without ice cream.

* * *

Upon arriving home, Peridot noted three things. 

One: Pumpkin was sleeping soundly in her crate. That pup never willingly went in her crate unless Peridot threw a dog treat in there. 

Two: Jasper was not there. The tall Gem had a habit of stopping by every now and again to sleep and eat her way through Peridot's food, even though Gems didn't even need to eat.

Lastly: Lapis Queen of the Lazy and Doer of Nothing All Day Lazuli, was swinging from the ceiling by a water hammock. The ends were going from one side of the apartment to the other and the hammock was a few feet off the ground smackdab in the middle of her living room. 

“Why are you…” Peridot stopped, realising she was about to ask a question that the only answer to was going to be asinine, “You know what? Nevermind. Can you please get down?”

“Nope.” Lapis popped the “p” as she dangled her foot off the side of the hammock. She was far too relaxed and carefree about swinging from there. 

“Seriously, that looks dangerous. You could fall.” Peridot insisted.

“I can control water. The only way I'm falling out of this, is if I fall asleep.” Lapis yawned and stretched, “Besides, unlike you, if I fall I won't break my neck."

The way she said it made Peridot tense. Maybe this was revenge for the scolding Peridot gave her the other day for breaking season four of CPH. Lapis claimed it was because she was angry at Percy's character arc, but Peridot doubted that. The previous week Lapis had practicality torn up the whole apartment looking for something to do. And Heaven forbid Peridot leave her alone for more than a day.

Stars, it was like Lapis was a cat.

Peridot went into the kitchen and dumped the bag on the table, “So, what crawled up your blue butt and died?”

She grabbed to bowls out the cabinet and a spoon from the drawer. The ice cream was partially melted, but that just made it easier to scoop two heaping servings into each bowl. 

Lapis sat up, finally, to give Peridot an incredulous look, “I have nothing else better to do so water hammock.”

Peridot could practically hear the resentment in the Gem's voice, “Really? Couldn't you just, I dunno, sit in the bathtub”

“Not the same thing.” 

Peridot rolled her eyes, “And flooding the building again is totally worth the few hours of amusement, I'm sure.” 

“Mmhmm."

Peridot wasn't going to let Lapis's attitude ruin her otherwise good mood, "Well, while you do that, I'm going to eat this ice cream and watch the CPH movie."

Lapis opened one eye casually, and the blonde saw her interest. Then she closed it and went back to being annoying, "I already saw it. Twice."

"The new one?" Peridot asked in a tone that was borderline mocking, "I doubt that. It only came out yesterday."

The water hammock was gone, formed into a tight ball and thrown across the kitchen to land in the sink. It broke, splashing water over the side and onto the floor. That was then hastily lifted up and dumped into the sink and Lapis was on her feet bouncing with excitement.

"No way!" Lapis said, in disbelief, "You do not have a copy of that yet!"

 _Too easy._ "Oh ye of little faith." Peridot chuckled and brought the bowls over to where Lapis stood with her mouth gapped and eyes full of hope. 

She set the bowls on the coffee table to rummage around her pocket. A small USB was produced and she plugged it directly into her Playstation (it was a newly acquired investment to help keep Lapis entertained not that Lapis played it because Heaven forbid she do anything besides sleep all day). It took all of five seconds to find the right file, and the beginning sequence of CPH: Star Dreamers began to play and Lapis was already trying to pull Peridot down onto the couch.

"Sit down! Your butt is in my face."

Peridot laughed, passing the movie, and resisted the incessant tug at the back of her shirt, "It's my apartment. I can have my butt wherever I want it. Including in your face."

"Yeah, yeah, as lovely as it is, it's still in the way!" Lapis tugged harder, causing Peridot to lose whatever balance she had and go crashing down on the cushions beside Lapis. 

Peridot's mouth hung open, words failing her as the ocean Gem shoved the bowl of ice cream in her hands, then took up her own and began stuffing the frozen treat into her mouth. In the dimly lit room, Lapis couldn't see Peridot's face burning from her remark, unsure to categorize it as Lapis being Lapis, or a genuine compliment. 

Then Lapis shoved her shoulder playfully, "Start it already!"

Peridot rolled her eyes, but she was smiling so hard her face was hurting, "So demanding."

As the pirated copy of the movie played throughout the night, they laughed. They stood up shouting at the TV when a character did something stupid. Peridot threw her hands up in defeat when Percy and Paulette kissed and Lapis swooned and proclaimed her love for the franchise's cinematic universe. Lapis began crying when another character left the camp to return home, while Peridot nearly flung her empty bowl at the screen when the camp counselor proclaimed the camp would be shut down. 

The ending had them both in tears, but it was still open ended enough to suggest another movie. 

And when Lapis suggested a rewatch, that's when Peridot vocalized her frustrations. 

"I've seen ferrets with more acting skills than Paulette!" Peridot exclaimed, "It's like the director went "yeah, say it like you have a gun pointed at your head". Utter rubbish."

"Well, Percy's actor isn't exactly trying to win himself any golden globes either."

"You take that back!"

"Or what? You can complain under the sun all day-"

"It's eight at night!"

"-About Paulette, but I can't say anything about your precious Percy? How is that fair?" She demanded.

Peridot hit Lapis with a pillow, "Percy and Pierre are meant for each other!"

"In your pathetic dreams!" Lapis snapped back, grabbing the pillow and proceeded to rip it right out of Peridot's hand.

Peridot dodged it when Lapis threw it at her. The pillow smacked into the bookcase and caused a torrent of DvDs and books to come raining down to the floor. Neither noticed or cared at that moment.

"At least in my dreams Paulette is a better character!"

"Your dreams must be _so_ unfulfilling then."

"As if yours are any better."

Before either of them knew it they faces were inches from each other. They couldn't keep the facade of anger up and it was Lapis who broke out in laughter first. 

"Why are we even arguing?" She asked.

"I don't know." Peridot said. 

They were halfway through their third rewatch when Lapis declared she was tired and booted Peridot off _her_ couch.

"So what was the ice cream and movie for?" Lapis finally asked once Peridot cleaned up the mess they made.

In her excitement, Peridot forgot to mention the good news.

"I got a job." Peridot declared.

Lapis gave a happy squeal of delight and threw her arms around Peridot, nearly toppling her over. The closeness didn't bother her, even if the Gem was making it difficult to gather up the books off the floor.

"That's fantastic, Peridot! Where?"

"Greg Universe's car wash. His son caught me at the beach and apparently someone named Bob told him I needed a job. Offer was decent enough so I'm accepting." 

Lapis snorted back laughter as she released her, " _Bob._ What a stupid name."

"Well, whoever Bob is, I'm going to find and thank him because he saved my butt." Peridot said. 

Lapis was smiling all the harder, but Peridot was too giddy to notice, "Greg's son is Steven Universe, right? I'm sure Bob will hear all about it tomorrow then." 

Peridot dumped the dishes into the sink, catching a glimpse outside. The grey skies were turning darker, "I better get to sleep. Big day tomorrow!"

Lapis grabbed the covers off the floor and covered herself with them, "Night, Peridot." 

"Yeah, night." Peridot said as she shut off the lights and walked to her room she gave a silent prayer hoping it would not storm tonight. 

Terrible things happened during storms.  

* * *

_"For the last time, Leon, I refuse to have it at our gala! Once you reveal your will, people will talk! Rumors will spread, and our name with be ruined in this city for good. And think of Emerald! How could you leave so much to that...that...stain!"_

_"Marigold, please, be reasonable here. I'm sure our benefactors won't mind seeing Peridot and hiding her from the public eye will just make matters worse. Besides, I had to ensure someway you will continue to look after her. She is our daughter after all-"_

_"THAT THING OUT THERE IS NOT MY DAUGHTER!"_

_He never yelled back, merely answered the shouting in a hushed voice, "Lower your voice."_

_He managed to keep her voice down, but they continued back and forth behind the closed door, never knowing who was listening. Peridot sat in the middle of the drawing room, hands wrapped under her legs as she rocked back and forth. Sprawled out in front of her were trinkets and toys she had disassembled, broken. She was hoping to put them back together into someone wonderful and was half way done with creating something mama could be proud of._

_Her older sister had smashed her creation to bits._

_Emerald was taller than Peridot, prettier too, with long, honey blonde hair that flowed like a river past her shoulders. She was 5 years older than Peridot and mean._ _Her eyes were a dark green, like their mama's, so unlike the pale green Peridot had. Those eyes were trying to burn holes into Peridot's head._

_"They're fighting again, because of you." Her older sister spat down at her._

_Emerald never shared with her, hardly talked to her, and just like mama, always seemed angry with her. So Peridot ignored her, opting to pick up each broken piece of plastic and sorted them into a pile: dark, bright, salvageable, trash._

_Was that what she was? Everyone but dad treated her like she was._

_"Did you hear me?" Emerald barked, "I said they're fighting again because of you!"_

_"I know." Peridot said. She mixed the pieces up and started sorting them again, "I'm sorry."_

_She didn't know what she did wrong this time. Mama was mad at her again, but then, when wasn't she? Mama always looked at her as if she wasn't human, like some insect to be crushed beneath her high heels._

_What did she do wrong this time?_

_"Mother and father never fought like this until you came along. No one pointed and whispered behind our backs and laughed. Everyone loved father, until you. You ruined everything." Emerald knelt down beside her, "It would be easier if you just disappeared."_

_Peridot looked up at Emerald in confusion, "Disappeared?"_

_Where could she go? Her momma died only a year ago and that's when daddy whisked her away to love in his estate. He said Emerald and Marigold were her family now and this was her home…_

_Peridot turned to look outside and saw a storm raging outside. Ghostly faces flashed across the window, coming and going as lightning streaked across black skies._

_"But I don't want to leave." This was her home as much as it was Emerald's._

_"No one cares about you here." Emerald sneered._

_"Daddy does."_

_Her words darkened her older sister's face and grabbed Peridot forcibly by the arm to drag her to her feet, "Fine! If you won't go, I'll make sure you won't ever forget what you are!"_

Forget what I am? _She already knew who she was: Peridot Isane, daughter to Leon and Marigold. But by the way Emerald was talking it was like she was something else._

_Peridot went along with her sister meekly down the long corridors of their home. It was as big as a mansion in truth, but somehow a prison for Peridot - she hardly ever left the four walls surrounding her. As she was half marched past sculptures of decaying models, an unease began to grow inside her. The hallway was growing darker._

_The faces outside pressed close to the windows, whispering:_ **_don't go there...don't go there…_ **

_Suddenly, a red door loomed in front of them and Peridot was filled with an overwhelming fear, "Emerald?"_

_She didn't want to go in there._

_She tried pulling on her sister's hand, trying to get the older girl to let go but Emerald did not release her._

_Thunder crashed overhead. The storm began to rage inside now. The rain came down in torrents and the sky flashed bright before darkening once more._

_"I'll make sure everyone knows what you are." Emerald promised._

_Her sister pushed her through a door and Peridot went stumbling to her knees. She was quickly soaked in rain and before Peridot could turn to her sister to ask "why" a foot came down on her shoulder pushing her onto her face. The rug beneath her was scratchy, but Peridot couldn't find the strength to get up. Her limbs felt heavy._

_She lifted her head weakly and saw herself looking down at her. She reached out to herself, a wordless plea on her lips._

_Peridot watched with an unreadable expression as Emerald sat on her back and produced a knife. She didn't recall where it came from, or what Emerald said, but she remembered hearing the thunder when her sister cut the thin material of her nightgown._

_Even then her younger self didn't understand what was happening._

_She knelt and curled her hand over her younger self's own and squeezed it, "It's okay." She said, but she knew her words were hollow._

_It would never be okay._

_The wind howled all around her._

_“I'm sorry! I'm sorry!” Peridot sobbed, “Please, Em-”_

_Thunder boomed louder and louder._

_And when the knife came down, Peridot felt the blade pierce into her flesh and she screamed._

Peridot sat up with a start, heart pounding in her chest like a war drum and her breath coming out in uneven pants. She pushed sweat soaked bangs from her face as she tried to stop the shaking in her hands. 

It was just a dream. 

A nightmare.

No, a memory twisted and long forgotten that came back to haunt her in her sleep. 

Peridot rubbed her face, "This is all Perri's fault." 

Stupid Gem asking her stupid questions.

She would not go back to sleep any time soon. 

Outside a storm raged on, just like the one in her dream. It was the probably the cause for her night terror just as it was Perri's fault. Peridot blanched as a streak of lightning tore through the sky. For a brief moment everything was a blinding white, then dark again. As of late, the weather had been ridiculous: when it wasn't raining it was storming, a tsunami not a day ago nearly destroyed the pier, and somewhere in Ocean City, a reservoir was slowly draining and no one could find the hole. It wasn't even summer yet and the weather just seemed to be going crazy. 

 _And they said climate change was a bunch of horse shit._ Peridot thought sourly. She threw the covers off her sweat soaked body, determined to be angry at something, anything to calm herself. _Maybe I should have been a meteorologist. At least that way I can understand what's going on-_

A knock on her door gave Peridot pause in her thought, “Yeah?”

“I heard screaming.” Lapis said. There was a thickness to her voice, as if she had just woken up. 

A pang of guilt shot through Peridot. Was she screaming? Reluctantly, she stumbled out of bed and opened the door, “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No,” Lapis lied. Peridot could see the droopy look in her eyes, her hair all tousled from sleep, and the way she swayed from tiredness. She doubted Lapis even realized she was doing it. 

Thunder boomed. 

Peridot flinched so badly by the sound that Lapis’s sleepy eyes flicked open. She was awake now, “Not a fan of storms?”

“Not really.” Peridot said, probably sounding as miserable as she looked. 

That seemed to wake Lapis up even more; her face softening to concern, "Are you okay?"

Peridot rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stepped out of her room. She didn't want to explain her whole life story to Lapis, but something in the way Lapis asked her, made Peridot want to speak the truth, "No."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No." Peridot said again. But while she was saying no, her mind was screaming YES and she wondered why she desperately wanted to talk to the Gem about her dream...but she couldn't.

Lapis did not need to know that Marigold wasn't even her mother or that she was a bastard child who's continued presence ruined her father's reputation, or that her half sister, cruel and jealous down to her bones, had tried carving the word into her back to make sure she never forgot what she was. No one ever talked about what happened after that incident. 

Those in her immediate family turned a blind eye to her and treated her as a stain on their good name. After her father died the only reason why Marigold kept her around was because it was a clause in her father's will. All Peridot had to do was be alive on her 25th birthday and Marigold will get a little over a quarter of a million dollars and Emerald would get the rest. 

Over the years she encountered hundreds of people who found out she was the daughter of Leon Wilder and always tried to fall in her good graces. 

Friends, lovers, family on the poorer side of the blanket, they all thought Peridot was a gold mine ready to be dug into once she was old enough to receive her inheritance. 

How quickly they made their true feelings for her known when they found she wasn't even legitimate. Her last three relationships all ended abruptly because of it. Her friends deserted her one by one as she snapped and turned on them before they could do the same to her. She learned to mistrust every friendly words and smiles from then on. 

But, again, Lapis didn't need to know any of that. She didn't need to know that the emotional abuse she suffered destroyed what hope she had in ever finding happiness in herself or with others.

She was working on it though, going to therapy helped immensely but still...storms always brought the unpleasant past back to haunt her. 

Peridot hardly noticed that Lapis had took a hold of her hand until she gave it a light squeeze, "Are you okay?" Lapis repeated, softer than before.

Her mood was brought down low, and all she could do was give a wairy shake of her head.

"Come on." Lapis said, practically dragging Peridot back into her room. Peridot followed on reluctant feet, wondering what Lapis could possibly want with her.

Soon enough sje got her answer. The Gem sat down on the edge of her bed, pulling the blonde down alongside her with a gentle tug.

Confused, Peridot tried to speak, "Wha-"

Lapis cut her off, "Clearly the storm is bothering you so I'm going to stay here until you fall asleep."

Peridot blinked in disbelief at the Gem, "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. Sometimes I get scared of storms, too. They can get pretty bad in the middle of the ocean." Lapis said, misreading Peridot's mood entirely, but the blonde couldn't help but feel oddly touched by the gesture. 

"Can't you control water?" Peridot asked.

"I can, but I can't stop thunder and lightning. Those are terrible." She moved suddenly as she pushed Peridot backwards onto the mattress and threw the covers on top of her, "Try and get some sleep, Peri. You got a big day today and I will not have you face it on four hours of sleep."

Peridot would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, but she curled up in her blanket and looked up at Lapis. The Gem had sat back on the edge of the bed and was watching her closely, "You'll stay here until I fall asleep, huh? Sounds creepy."

"If you got a problem with that, you can always kick me out." Lapis challenged. The small smile on her face took out the sting of her words.

The last person to stay with her when she got like this was her father. He would call her his "precious gem" and talk about all the amazing places he'd flown to on this business trip or that one. When she was with him, Peridot always felt that no harm would come to her. He was there with her in the hospital too, after the incident, and swore she was never going to be hurt again.

And here Lapis was giving her the same comfort with that same kind smile?

"No, Lapis, it's no problem at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you know or don't know: dement09 (aka DisasterLesbian09, aka, QUEEN OF THE LAPIDOT AND THAT IS A HILL I WILL FUCKING DIE ON!) did a image set commission for me back in April and was uploaded on her 18+ twitter account a while ago.
> 
> I had to eat ramen for a month.
> 
> No regrets.
> 
> https://twitter.com/CagedDimension/status/1143971550997221376?s=20
> 
> And if you want to know when that lovely scene is happening, it's planned for chapter 18, maybe 19. I'll figure it out. 
> 
> \--------
> 
> Someone (*coughLapiscough*) needs to give Peridot a hugs.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "White lies don't hurt anyone, especially the ones you tell to yourself." 
> 
> -Lapis

Lapis was half awake when Peridot got up for work. She felt the human rise out of bed and leave the room, but she hardly had her eyes open to catch her leaving. 

She wrapped herself in Peridot's blanket, arms encircling tight around one of Peridot's pillows. Unconsciously, she buried her face into it to inhale the lingering scent of Peridot's shampoo. It took a few more hours before the Gem was forced awake by the sun peeking through the curtains, and another twenty minutes to convince herself that Peridot's bed _wasn't_ comfortable and she should get out of it. By then, her dreams were starting to fade away like dew in the morning light. 

Lapis had dreamt she and Peridot were married. Peridot had the job of her dreams, Lapis wasn't being hunted down like a dog, and they were exchanging light touches and chaste kisses. The ocean Gem could still feel the ghost of Peridot's lips against her throat and her fingers tracing shapes along her inner thigh. It was all so sweet and slow that Lapis wished she hadn't woken up. She was happily content in hearing Peridot whispering terms of endearment in her ears. 

They were pleasant dreams, more domestic than what she was used to and a far cry from the usual. 

Groggily, Lapis reached for the alarm clock the human kept on the nightstand to find it was barely noon. 

 _Oh shoot, I forgot to make breakfast for her._ Lapis thought with a pang of guilt. _I'll make it tomorrow._

Before making her way to the bathroom, Lapis grabbed the music player Peridot had given her so she could listen to some music as she went about the chores. The playlist wasn't very big (a measly 50 songs compared to the five thousand on Peridot's phone), but only because Lapis didn't find a genre she was really into, unlike Peridot who listened to any and everything.

Entering the bathroom, the player now blaring one of Peridot's favorite songs, Lapis studied the mess she had to tackle.

There was evidence of Peridot's morning routine everywhere - laundry piled behind the door without a care, her toothbrush was in the sink, towel thrown haphazardly across the back of the toilet. The human slowly started falling into bad habits since Lapis started living with her - not that she minded cleaning up after her. It gave her something to do.

Lapis sang to herself as she gathered up Peridot's clothes and tossed them into the laundry hamper outside. 

Pumpkin watched Lapis excitedly as the Gem ran hot water from the tub and gathered the flow with her powers to form it into a ball. 

The small dog tried jumping up to snap at the water, but Lapis laughed and put her outside, "We'll go in a minute, you monster. I have to clean first."

She shut the water off once she had enough and threw in a cup of the cleaning solution Peridot kept under the sink. She tried using just the cleaning product alone to clean the apartment, but learned very quickly that, that was a terrible idea. 

It only took Lapis less than an hour to clean the whole bathroom, and ten to finish Peridot's laundry. Being able to bend water to her will tasks that required using large quantities of it a lot easier.

After cleaning the bathroom, throwing Peridot's clothes in the dryer, and giving the apartment the briefest of light dusting, Lapis picked up Pumpkin and opened the window in the bathroom. It was facing a solid wall of the building next door so no one could see the blue skinned Gem sitting on the ledge with a corgi tucked under her arm. With a quick glance around, Lapis extended her wings and flew high into the air - high enough to be mistaken for a bird or plane at least. 

Pumpkin whined noisily, but knew from past experiences not to squirm too much. Lapis was by no means clumsy, but there was the one time she almost dropped the dog in the ocean. It had taken a mountain of dog treats to get Pumpkin to forgive her. 

"Wanna go see Steven today?" Lapis asked the pup in her arms.

Pumpkin barked and squirmed excitedly,  forgetting she was hundreds of feet above ground.

Lapis reached the Temple in less than an hour, but she knew better than to show herself around there. Pink Diamond's territory had the most Gems roaming around, but there was a place not to far off from there that no Gem ventured close to. It was a barn in the country, unvisited by Gems for a decade under Pink Diamond's orders. Lapis didn't know why, considering there was a warp pad nearby, but it was the safest place for her to stay whenever she visited Steven (or at least it _was_ but Lapis wasn't so sure now). 

Once back on the ground, landing just in front of the barn doors, Lapis put Pumpkin down, "Go find Steven." She commanded, pointing in the direction of the warp pad.

Pumpkin barked and ran off happy to obey. 

Lapis never had to wait long for the young boy's arrival.

"Steven!" Lapis greeted cheerfully as the small boy came trotting up to the barn, Pumpkin close on his heels. 

"Lapis!" Steven exclaimed with childlike glee as he ran the rest of the distance to her. His arms wrapped around her midsection and hugged tightly, "I'm so glad you're okay."

The ocean Gem laughed, "You say that every time I visit."

"You don't know how bad it's gotten lately. The Diamonds got into a fight again..." Steven said with a pout, "Mom had me sitting in with them but all I could understand was they weren't helping the military look for Malachite."

Lapis felt a stab of pity for the boy. He was still too young to deal with the politics of Gemkind, but it seemed Rose Quartz was dragging him into it anyways. The fact the Diamonds were being very passive about Malachite was worrisome as well. The only effort they put forward was using the main force of Crystal Gems to search and take down the fusion. All other Gems were ordered to stay out of the way.

"What did Blue Diamond say?"

Steven shook his head, "She just cried whenever someone brought up the corrupted Lapis."

 _Of course._ Lapis thought sourly. _It'll take half the shattering of her Gems to get her to do anything, I guess._

"But, hey, enough about that!" Steven said, "I thought you said you couldn't see me for awhile after what happened last time."

"I did…" Lapis released her hold on the young halfling and walked towards the silo off in the distance - Steven right beside her with Pumpkin trailing behind.

 _Last time_ was referring to a few days ago when Lapis came to visit Steven. They were having a friendly conversation in the barn, swapping stories, when a band of vehicles came to a screeching halt out front. Tens of men and women started crawling over the countryside, setting up devices and satellites to pick up and traces of Lapis or Malachite. If it wasn't for Steven going outside and demanding they leave or he'd get Pink Diamond Lapis might have been found.

And all Lapis could do was hide behind a haystack and keep Pumpkin quiet. 

"So what's up?"

Lapis shook her head to banish the memory away. She was with Steven and he deserved her attention, "A lot, actually. But first, thanks again for convincing your dad to hire Peridot. It really means the world to me."

"No prob, Bob. Any friend of Lapis is a friend of mine!" Steven laughed, "My dad could use the help and you did say she really needed a job."

"And you had to mention me, huh?"

"Bob" was the nickname Steven had given her when they first meet about a year ago - a story Lapis would share with Peridot eventually - and it stuck. Peridot didn't know, but the human wasn't stupid either. When Peridot had said her nickname, Lapis’ heart almost leapt out of her chest, but when nothing more was said on the matter, other than a solemn promise to repay “Bob” back Lapis felt more at ease. Sooner or later, Lapis was _probably_ going to make the mistake of mentioning it again and Peridot would know that she was sneaking out to see the half Gem. 

"It wasn't like she recognized the name." Steven assured her, "She seems like a really nice person, too. And you were right about her looking like a Gem. It was kinda creepy." He laughed to show he meant no harsh feelings. 

"How...how was she?" Lapis asked hesitantly.

She felt immensely guilty for even asking the question, but she needed to know how the human was before she came home. Last night was _still_ troubling her, but it wasn't as if Peridot was going to be so forthcoming with answers if Lapis asked. 

Steven closed his eyes in concentration, "She looked really sad. Like someone took her last cookie cat and ate it in front of her. Know what I mean?"

Sometimes Lapis had to remember that Steven was still just a child. 

“I suppose. Did she seem, angry or upset? Did she mention anything about her day?" Lapis pressed.

“No, not really, just seemed lonely.” Steven said, “Why? You think she’s up to no good?”

“What? Of course not! I was just wondering if she said anything more to you aside from accepting the job.”

“Lapis…” Steven leaned against the side of the silo with her, “Is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right? Even if it’s about Peridot. Is she treating you alright?”

How Peridot was treating her had nothing to do with her inquiries. Lapis had become used to Peridot's volatile moods. Some days, for seemingly no reason at all, Peridot would be angry and quiet, hardly saying a word before going to bed and other times she would be...normal. The in-between were there (thanks to Lapis' constant teasing and Peridot's excitable nature), but last night was different.

Lapis was sleeping on the couch when the storm came rolling in and knew she could sleep through it. But then she was awakened violently by a scream. At first, Lapis didn't think anything of it, but Pumpkin was trying to get out of her cage and she heard a faint a whimper under the howling wind outside. Lapis staggered to her feet, droopy eyed and half asleep, but she followed the noise. When it lead her to Peridot's room, Lapis had entered without a second thought.

Peridot was writhing against her bed, a hand clenching tight to her nightshirt and the other gripped the sheets in a death vice. 

"No...Em...please, I'm sorry." Peridot whined.

Lapis didn’t know who Em was, didn't care because when she put a hand to Peridot's forehead, Lapis was worried by how hot she was. She was wide awake then and thought only of getting something to cool Peridot's burning skin, and had shut the door to keep any noise she made out. 

The scream that came shortly after made Lapis' heart stop.

She was going to burst through the door, but she had to pause and think about her actions. 

What if she broke the door in and Peridot became frightened and hurt herself? That was the last thing she wanted to do, so she messed up her hair quickly, rubbed her eyes and waited a minute before knocking.

The door opened and Lapis never seen Peridot look so terrified and bone tired all at once before. The blonde had looked as if she wanted so badly to say something to Lapis, but whatever was troubling her to the point of restlessness she never said and Lapis didn’t bother asking. Whatever it was Lapis was willing to wait for Peridot to discuss it on her own time, when she felt she was ready to. There wasn’t much the Gem could do but grab Peridot’s hand and lead her back to bed. 

Maybe it was just her imagination, but after Lapis put Peridot to bed the human seemed genuinely relieved, happy even,that Lapis stayed with her A small part of Lapis knew it was from lack of sleep, but Peridot smiled so rarely it was truly a treasure to see when she did. 

"What are you thinking about, Lapis?" Steven prompted.

Lapis blinked. She had spaced out on Steven of all people, "Sorry. I was thinking about Peridot."

She couldn't tell Steven any of that though. 

"Think about her often?" He chuckled, giving her rib a playful nudge with his elbow.

"Heh, she's the only one I see on most days, so yeah, she’s all I'm thinking about." Lapis chuckled, trying to pass it off as humor. 

Steven took Lapis by the hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “You can tell me what’s up, you know. I'm not gonna judge."

This tiny human and his encouraging smile was always enough to get Lapis to open up. It was like a superpower.

“You can say I think about her a lot, and not entirely in a friends only sort of way.” Lapis finally said. She sank down to the ground, giving Pumpkin the opportunity to jump into her lap.

Saying it out loud made her feelings seem real. Well, they were, but they were feelings Lapis _didn’t_ want to face and a healthy bit of denial could go a long way with her. 

“Oh! You like Peridot?” Steven exclaimed, stars suddenly appearing in his eyes, “Since when?”

“Since…” Lapis paused. When _did_ she start liking Peridot? When they had their movie night? When the dreams started? When she saw her naked? Before that, maybe, when Peridot let her stay with her? Stars, Lapis could feel the heat rising to her face when she finally realized, "Since she saved my life. I've liked her since then."

It started out as just a silly crush - feelings Lapis was sure would go away with time, but apparently when you live in a small space with someone you start to see sides of them that were fascinating and attractive all at once. The attraction towards the human only got worse when Lapis saw Peridot naked, and then the dreams started happening, and a crush turned to lust and now Lapis was thinking of spending the rest of her eternal life with her! That was the strangest part of all, wanting something so much that it bothered Lapis to the point she was beginning to frown.

"Hey, you okay, Lapis?" Steven asked softly, putting a hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

The Gem sighed, "What am I supposed to do, Steven?"

"About Peridot?"

"Everything. I can't just tell her how I feel. She might think I'm insane." Lapis said.

"You're not though!" Steven protested, "I bet Peridot would be happy to find out you like her!"

"She's a human and I'm…" Lapis trailed off and looked down at her blue skin, "Steven, humans don't look kindly on these kinds of relationships, you know. What would people say?"

"That's understandable, but if my dad spent all his time worrying about that, then I wouldn't be here." Steven said, "He had to have doubted his feelings a hundred times before asking my mom out, I bet and it would be a different story if he let those thoughts change how he felt. You like her right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise, even Peridot, if you decide to tell her and she doesn't feel the same." Steven smiled, "I think you're worrying for nothing though."

Lapis shared his smile and stood to dust the grass off her pants, "I suppose you're right. But I couldn't tell her now even if I wanted to." 

Lapis needed to respect that Peridot was dealing with her human problems and didn't need anything else dumped on her.

"Do you have some time before you have to leave? We can watch Under the Knife." Steven suggested. It was obvious he wanted to change the subject and Lapis was quick to oblige. 

The Gem ruffled Steven's curly hair, "Sure, but can we skip the rest of season four. I really hate that guy they introduced. He's always hitting on the main nurse even though she's _clearly_ not interested."

"The guy that looks like a walking "kick me sign"?"

"Yeah, that's the one. He's such a sleeze." 

They shared a laugh and went back to the barn to binge watch Steven's medical drama before Lapis said her farewells. Lapis flew back to the apartment using the setting sun as her shield from wandering eyes. Once home, she put Pumpkin through the window first before sliding in after. Thankfully Peridot was not there yet, which meant she once again made it out and back successfully. 

"I'll just cook her favorite." Lapis mused out loud as she made her way to the kitchen, "That'll alleviate some of the guilt." _And maybe help soothe the nerves._

She gave Pumpkin her dinner and set to making Peridot's. 

For some reason the human absolutely loved stir fry, but instead of chicken, she preferred tofu which made the cooking process go relatively quickier. Cooking for Peridot gave Lapis something to do with her time, like tweaking recipes she learned over the years to make them better. And Peridot was more than willing to try out her new creations. 

 _Maybe Steven does have a point, but I just can't tell her. Not yet._ Lapis thought. _It's like there's a wall around her, trying to keep everyone out._ And what kind of Gem would she be if she took a sledgehammer to that wall and sent the brick crumbling down on Peridot without warning? 

That would just make her feel bad. 

 _I'll keep my feelings to myself until the time is right._ Lapis concluded. 

When Lapis got the ingredients mixed together in the wok and added her glaze, there came a sharp kick at the door. Pumpkin perked up her head and growled at the door when the knob began to jiggle in fit of nervous twists. Lapis was on the defense - her nerves already on edge. Peridot never kicked her door like that, and Pumpkin looked ready to bite whoever came through. She pulled a stream of water from the faucet and hardened it into one giant icicle. 

The door flew open with a bang and Lapis hurled the icicle at the intruder -

"Told you i could get it open!" Peridot exclaimed cheerfully. She had a few books tucked under her arm and a lopsided grin on her face.

Lapis quickly turned the projectile back into water just a fraction of a second before Jasper shoved Peridot out of the way. Water splashed onto the floor, spilling out from the doorway and into the hall.

The blonde was completely oblivious to her prior peril and she rounded on Jasper, staggering unnaturally, "Wha was that for you cow?"

Jasper ignored her, too busy glaring at Lapis as she pushed Peridot inside and shut the door behind her, "I thought you said you weren't going to kill the runt." Jasper said in an accusing voice.

"I thought someone was trying to break in!" Lapis snapped back. 

Jasper raised an eyebrow, "Okay and you thought _impaling_ them was the way to go?"

Lapis frowned and crossed her arms across her chest. Okay, maybe that was a little overkill, but what she did was irrelevant now. Peridot was fine, but was entirely too giddy and cheerful than usual, "What's wrong with Peridot?"

Said human was bent in half over the back of the couch, ruffling Pumpkin's face. The dog still looked ready to bite Peridot's face though, "Hiiiiii. Aren't you a pretty girl? Who's a good fluff butt. You are!"

Those words seemed to please Pumpkin and she started licking Peridot's face in excitement.

"Yes you are!" The human proclaimed louder, making a cooing sound at the dog, "You're my sweet baby pup." 

"Well…" Jasper began hesitantly.

The larger Gem was coming off her patrol for the night and happened upon Peridot leaving the bookstore. She had gotten off of work a couple hours prior, but seemed a little down, so Jasper invited her to do the human activity of "hanging out". It was Peridot's successful first day at her new job after all, and the prospect of getting out didn't seem that bad of an idea.

"Plus I wanted to see how you were doing. I haven't visited in a while, and we talked over a few drinks."

By "a few drinks" Jasper really meant she had challenged Peridot to a drinking contest. Gems could metabolize alcohol differently than humans, willing their bodies to absorb the alcohol slower or faster - a fact Peridot had no way of knowing. By the fourth shot of tequila, the programmer was stumbling and slurring her words and being a loud obnoxious knowitall to the customers (to which Peridot proclaimed loudly that it wasn’t her fault those “clods” couldn’t tell the difference between a flesh eating bacteria and a flesh eating parasite). Unfortunately, Peridot was also close to saying Lapis' name in a room full of government agents. Jasper had to use Peridot's card to close their tab, and lure the human out with extra bottle of vodka (which the Gem put on the island counter) and made sure she got her back safely.

"That was all." Jasper said.

Lapis pinched the bridge of nose, "Oh Diamonds, why did you think that was a good idea?"

"Lapis."

"Well, I'm sorry." 

"Lapis."

"No, you aren't, because if you were, you wouldn't have done it. Do you ever think before you act?" she poked Jasper hard in the chest

"Heeeeeey, Lapis!"

Jasper took great offense to that, "Oh that's rich coming from you. When was the last time you did anything remotely sensible since you started hanging around her? I got a list the length of Blue Diamond's dress with the amount of stupid decisions you've made."

Lapis waved her arms vaguely in Peridot's direction, "At least I didn't go dragging her out to get wasted on a Thursday night now did I? Can't you be a little more responsible for her?"

"She's not ten!" Jasper snapped.

"And you're over six thousand years old and acting _real_ mature for your age." Lapis bit back.

"Oh please, if you could leave this apartment you would do anything with her and you fucking know it!" Jasper said, "Besides, how was I supposed to know she can't hold her liquor?"

"Lapis~"

"She's weighs about as much as a loaf of bread! Of course she can't hold liquor!"

"Lapis!"

"At least we can agree on that-"

"Lapis Lazuli!"

"WHAT?!" Lapis shouted at the human, finally turning to face the human. Her anger evaporated all at once and was replaced with the sudden, burning desire to throw Jasper out of the apartment. 

Peridot was still wearing a lopsided grin on her face, a loose undershirt...and no pants. 

Her underwear was just a few shades darker than Lapis' own completion, and covered with green alien heads. And she had her fingers hooked over the elastic, giving the Gems the impression she was going to take those off next. Never had Lapis seen the human so unrestrained, and while the alcohol was the sole reason why she was acting the way she was, that didn’t mean Lapis couldn’t appreciate the view Peridot was willingly giving her.

“Guess what I am, Lapis?" Peridot asked, her voice low and teasing while she stared at her through half lidded eyes.

 _A beautiful, drunk dork who is about to get fucked on every surface of this apartment?_ Lapis wanted to reply, but bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying it. _Nope, I am not going down that road._

It wasn't that she didn't trust herself, but the way Peridot was, she didn't want to be put in a situation where she did anything they'd both regret later.

"And on that note I'm going back to the Temple." Jasper said in a flat tone as she turned for the door, "I'll stop by tomorrow."

Lapis grabbed a fistful of Jasper's mane and pulled hard, causing the taller Gem to nearly fall backwards, "You can’t just leave me with her like this! This is your fault anyway!"

“First off, don’t pull my hair,” Jasper said, “And secondly, I have things to do, so, no, I can’t stay. You’re just going to have to deal with this until she sobers up. Promise to make it up to you when I get the chance.”

Even if Lapis argued she knew Jasper would go and do what she always wanted; there was literally nothing keeping the taller Gem from simply leaving. Not like Lapis could go after her without making a huge scene and potentially getting spotted. So, reluctantly, Lapis released Jasper and let the quartz leave without protest, that did not stop her from cursing her all the same.

 _If I ever see her again, I’m going to shatter her into so many pieces, and scatter her to the four corners of this world._ If Lapis ever saw Jasper again it would be too soon. _I didn’t get Peridot drunk in the first place! Why do I have to-_

“Laaaaaapis~” The ocean Gem jumped nearly a foot off the ground when small arms encircled her chest from behind. Peridot's breath was hot against her ear, "Heeey, I have a question."

"W-what is it?"

"Do you smell something burning?"

At the mention of it, it did smell like something was-

"The stove!" Lapis hurried to the kitchen to discover the stir fry was smoking. 

Peridot laughed uncontrollably and nearly tripped over her feet as she followed after. She leaned against the island counter, giving Lapis a smug grin that Lapis wanted to kiss right off her face, "I thought you could cook, Lazuli. Did you forget?"

"Shut up!" Lapis snapped at her, feeling her face heat up from embarrassment, "This was your dinner, not mine!"

Peridot shrugged, "Got food right here." She held the bottle up, unscrewed the cap and took a swing from it. She made a face, coughed and took another gulp before saying "This here is what we call liquid potatoes."

With a roll of her eyes, Lapis scraped the burnt food into a storage tub, and put the wok in the sink so she could scrape off the burnt sugar at the bottom. She should take that drink and pour it down the drain as well, "That doesn't count. You need to eat."

"Hmm." Peridot tried to look thoughtful, but the red across her face and lopsided scowl didn't make her look serious at all. She snapped her fingers, "I have an idea! Take your pants off!”

The wok slipped from Lapis' grip and landed on the other dishes in the sink with a clatter. 

Lapis rounded on Peridot, face burning to the tips of her ears, "I'm sorry, what?"

Was that an admission? Did Peridot say that because she liked her, too? So maybe a small part of Lapis was a little bit excited that drunk Peridot had no filter and asked for things straight forward. That same part of her wanted her to pick Peridot up, throw her over her shoulder and take her to bed and fuck her until the sun came up. Who needed to discuss _feelings_ when their bodies would do the talking for them? 

But Peridot was drunk, but Lapis wasn't, so, despite that loud part of her telling her to fuck, Lapis shook her head, "Peridot. I am not taking off my pants so we can-"

"No, wait! Hear me out." Peridot said quickly, waving her hand, "I've been curious about this for a while now! Is all of you blue and, follow up question, how blue?"

Lapis stared at her, dumbfounded. _Well, good to know I'm panicking for nothing._ Because _of_ _course_ that had to be Peridot's line of thinking.  

Lapis decided she was done washing the dishes. Those could wait until she put Peridot to bed. She started picking up the books Peridot had tossed callously to the floor in her drunken stupor towards Pumpkin earlier, “Yes, Peridot, everywhere is blue, inside and out. Stop drinking."

Peridot made a tsking sound and followed Lapis, close on her heels like a puppy following its master, "But _how_ blue?”

“I don’t make it a habit at looking at my vagina, Peridot.” Lapis said mildly, making the mistake in thinking the bluntness of her words would make the human ease up. 

However, drunk Peridot did not baulk as sober Peridot would have. She didn’t even blush.  

“Okay, but is it darker than everywhere else or lighter? Describe it."

 _Stars, please stop talking._ Lapis was now convinced she was trapped in a Hell created by some malicious entity. Carefully, the Gem moved around Peridot, ignoring the way she was looking at her with those wide, curious eyes. How could she look so innocent asking these questions? 

Suddenly, Peridot’s hands were on her face, cupping her cheeks to turn her head towards her own. 

Lapis felt her breath catch in her throat and the books in her arms fell to the floor, narrowly missing her toes. 

The human was incredibly close, eyes barely opened as she squinted at Lapis through her glasses, “You know, your eyes are a pretty shade of blue, so is it like that? Well, _every_ part of you is pretty. But I really like your eyes. It’s like, whenever I catch a glimpse of them, it reminds me of the ocean and I hate the ocean, but I really like your eyes.”

 _She thinks my eyes are pretty. Why are you drunk right now you stupid-_ Lapis closed those eyes Peridot adored so much and inhaled deeply to steady her shaking nerves. She could smell the alcohol on Peridot’s breath. 

Slowly, Lapis pulled the human’s hands off her face, “Maybe you should lie down, Peridot-”

“Okay."

Peridot barely made it two steps before her knees buckled under her and Lapis had to grab her by the back of her shirt to keep her from falling face first into the coffee table.

"Right side upside down." Peridot mumbled as Lapis spread her out on the coach on her back, "Question."

"No more questions, please." Lapis groaned.

“I was just wondering if can you shapeshift? Jasper said you could earlier."

Oh. That was actually a safe question that Lapis could answer, "All Era-1 Gems can shapeshift. Why?"

"Can you now?" Peridot asked, eyes widening with child-like excitement.

"What would you like then?" Lapis said, deciding humoring Peridot might make up for her ruining dinner.

"Cat." Peridot simply said.

"A cat…"

"Cat." She confirmed.

"Cat it is." 

Lapis rarely shapeshifted, but doing it now was as familiar as flying. It took all of two seconds for her form to change from humanoid to a blue cat. Once transformed, Lapis jumped onto the arm back of the couch and slide down on top of Peridot's chest. 

"Happy?" Lapis asked.

"Pretty kitty." Peridot murmured as she stroked under Lapis' chin. 

Turning into a cat did not mean Lapis had all the feline sensory traits, but she could purr and that seemed appropriate. Plus chin scratches felt amazing. Lapis had to move when Peridot suddenly turned onto her side in an attempt to make herself more comfortable. The Gem settled between the couch and her arms, deciding that this was the next best thing to lying next to the human without feeling bad. 

Peridot seemed calmer now as she petted Lapis' back absently. She didn't seem to be in the mood to talk anymore which was fine by Lapis. 

Then Peridot's phone rang, disturbing their quiet moment together. The ringer went on and on and on. And when Lapis was a heartbeat away from smashing it into the wall, it stopped. 

Then it rang again. 

It went longer than the first time, but Peridot had grabbed it, took one look at the screen with a sour expression and then threw it across the room herself.

"Fuck you!" She hollered at the phone lying prone on the floor. It no longer made a sound. 

"Who was that?" Lapis asked once Peridot had fallen back against the couch.

She had a sullen look on her face, "My mother. I don't want to talk to her."

"Well, she is a horrible woman." Lapis said, kneading the soft cushion beneath her paws before curling back up next to Peridot's arm.

“Yeah, her and everyone else I know.” Peridot said, her voice low and miserable, "You're the only good person I have in my life, Lapis." 

Lapis felt her heart skip a beat, "Oh?" She said, lamely. What could she possibly say to that? 

"Do you know, that I hated coming home before?" Peridot asked, her voice thick with sleepiness, "This place was so empty, except for Pumpkin, but she's new. Only got her a couple months before I met you. Even when I was with Shannon, I never wanted to come home."

Lapis wasn't sure why she started purring when Peridot began scratching behind her ear as she spoke absently. She tilted her head slightly to give the human better access. She didn't know who Shannon was, but Lapis hated her. 

"Sometimes I get scared that one day I'll come home and you won't be here." Peridot said, "I always think "what if Lapis just got tired and fed up with the sad, clingy human". What if you went outside, got caught and shattered. I don't know what I would do with myself if you were hurt. But then, when I get home, there you are and I forget my fears."

Lapis felt more guilty than ever just then. She had been sneaking out whenever Peridot wasn't home to be with Steven or just to be outside. She never took into consideration how Peridot would feel if she did come home and she wasn't there. The last thing Lapid wanted was to make Peridot feel bad, or....this...whatever this was. Sad and lonely? Scared? No, Lapis would throw herself into the nearest star before she let herself be the cause of Peridot's unhappiness. 

Peridot curled an arm over Lapis and held her closer to her chest. "I'm so glad you're here, Lapis."

Before long, Peridot was snoring her soft, baby like snores and Lapis was tucked under her arm listening to her shallow breathing. She allowed herself to remain a prisoner for nearly an hour until Lapis decided it was best to take Peridot to bed - no matter how badly she wished to stay like that. 

* * *

The next morning, Peridot came out of her room, muttering about trains and her mouth tasting like a bag of sand.

"If I see Jasper again, I'm going to kill her." Peridot swore as she shuffled past Lapis.

"Coffee's brewing now." Lapis said.

The human muttered her thanks. She rubbed her face and groaned, "What happened last night?"

_You stripped down to your underwear, confused my emotions, begged me to shapeshift and then we cuddled after you confessed how glad you are I'm here._

"Nothing noteworthy." Lapis replied mildly.

"Oh good! So I didn't embarrass myself!" Peridot proclaimed with false cheer. She grabbed the stack of books Lapis had put on the coffee table and looked through them, "I can't believe I let her talk me into drinking. How did she even down a bottle of Jägermeister without falling?"

"Was this before or after the tequila?" Lapis chuckled.

"I don't remember." Peridot said, "But I saw her do it. How in the fuck did she do it?"

"Jasper's a Gem." Lapis reminded her, as if Peridot forgot who she was talking about, "We don't _get_ drunk if we don't want to."

"I'll keep that in mind." Peridot muttered darkly. She flopped down on the couch, and put the books back on the table stacked neater than how she found them, "Where did that wretch head off to?" 

"She never gave her report to Pink Diamond last night." Lapis said, guessing. Jasper never said why she was leaving, but Lapis could puzzle it out, "She said she caught you on her way back but stopped to drink with you."

"Never again!" Peridot vowed, "I had to call Greg and tell him I was going to be late. What an impression to make on my second day."

Lapis poured Peridot a large cup of caffeinated goodness, knowing she would need it to tackle the day, "Lesson learned?"

"Yeah. Don't drink with Gems. You guys cheat."

"Blame biology." Lapis chuckled and leaned over the back of the couch to give Peridot her cup of energy, "Here."

Without thinking, Lapis gave Peridot a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek. When her brain finally caught up with her action, Lapis' face felt her face burning. _Why did I just..._

Peridot was gawking at her, face red, and her hands were shaking so badly the coffee was sloshing over the edge of the cup. Lapis couldn't even read the expression on the human's face - maybe she was disgusted or startled, maybe both, but Lapis never got the answer to that. In one fluid motion, Peridot downed her coffee and raced to the bathroom, "Thanksforthecoffeebye!" 

Lapis heard the shower running a few seconds later and decided it was best to make herself scarce until Peridot left. 

 _Sorry, Steven._ she thought. There was no way, in this lifetime or the next, was she ever going to tell Peridot how she truly felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to abandon this story. My long hiatus' will be due to an insane work schedule and hard bouts of writers block. I have a twitter if you want to know if I'm still alive, but you don't have to follow me. There is nothing of value there. 
> 
> Thank you for helping this story reach 10k views, and over 600 kudos. It's kinda amazing to me how many people actually like this trash of mine. It helps a lot to get me motivated to write.
> 
> And Imma just plug this here for you guys (it's on a 18+ account so tread carefully)  
> https://twitter.com/CagedDimension/status/1169374065758474240?s=20


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